How should I break this girls heart?

I have a long history of mutual attraction and push/pull with this girl but we've never put it into words with each other, I started pursuing her (when i was ready to) after 3 years with the intention of asking her out, then along comes another girl and within two weeks i'm dating her seriously. Now a month later the second girl is my girlfriend. The first girl noticed i was pursuing her all out for that brief window of time and has reciprocated ever since without knowledge of my now girlfriend. Tomorrow she will see me with my girlfriend, the same night that I know she is going to try and snag me (i know this because of how i left things with her last time and how her friend has started acting), i tried to talk to her and tell her subliminally that i wasn't available now without causing embarrassment for her, but she didn't catch on.

I can either now just wait for her to see me getting close and friendly with my girlfriend or try and pull her aside and tell her i liked her a lot but I'm sorry that i can't be with her..

I do have feelings for the girl and care for her and know she feels a lot for a long time for me and her hopes are now sky high- so how do i lower her down gently and without embarrassment?


Most Helpful Girl

  • First, get her alone. You don't want to bring her the news in front of other people with a chance of her not being able to handle it or her feeling embarrassed. Make sure to be very clear to her that you want to talk in private, JUST talk.
    When you two are alone, tell her. Tell her in a way that won't hurt her more that needed. Keep a straight and confident posture and don't laugh it off or change subjects. If she still doesn't get it, try to limit physical contact or any behaviour that might be caught on to as flirtatious, she might just need some time to process and you really don't want to confuse her.
    DON'T go rubbing it in her face by being all close and cuddly with your girlfriend in front of her, it's mean and this is after all something that's best solved when spoken out in private.
    I really hope this helps :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well maybe you can meet up with the first girl earlier and tell her what's going on. Or just do whatever you have to do to make sure it's just you guys so she doesn't feel so embarrassed. Also, don't let your girlfriend see that or it'd look suspicious. I think telling her the truth would be nicer, and she may get mad, but not for as long as if she just saw you with your girlfriend.


What Guys Said 1

  • Just be honest, that's all you can do. She will be upset but she'll respect you for it regardless. It's a tough situation but you'll do fine as long as your doing the right thing.