Will my flaw scare guys away?

So, I just wonder about this because it's my biggest flaw, and it is the cause for most of my insecurities about myself..

When I was one years old I had a stroke, so me left hand is a bit paralyzed, not completely though. Maybe benumbed is a better word. I can't do everything I want becaus of my hand, and I'm disgusted by it myself and always have been. Not because of how it looks (if you don't look real close the hand looks completely normal) but because of how it feels, but it still is ugly according to me. Now to my question; if you as a guy found out that a girl had a hand like this, would you be disgusted and would it make her less attractive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is all in your head. Really... ? I am telling you now your hand won't stop guys dating you ! Disgusted of what exactly?

    Snap out of this and enjoy your life ! I once saw a girl in a wheel chair and i wanted to date her.. only i couldn't approach her at that moment!

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    • I'll keep that in mind!
      I'm disgusted of seeing and feeling that I can't control a part of my own body, it's extremely frustrating and the frustration is a part of my everyday life.
      That actually gave me a lot of hope for myself haha! Thank you!!

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    • Thank you for the award. Although my real award is that you now see a more truthful image of yourself :) enjoy life my friend!

    • You're too good to be real haha! Thank you so much for everything you've written! I'll save it all

What Guys Said 38

  • About 3 years ago I was cut open to get my biliary removed, due to the fact, that it was impossible to operate on a minimal procedure, they had make an incition that cut open half of my stomach below the rips. Now i can't feel the skin below that point up to my hip. It may feel awkward for yourself, but it never influenced my dating. You really don't need to worry, nobody is perfect, it would not bother me. Actually my girlfriend had a riding accident which broke her left Ringfinger-she is unable to move it. I kiss it anyway, touch and caress her, because she's not someone else because of it.

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  • I personally wouldn't consider it a determining factor. We all have things that we are self conscious about, some less than others and some more visible than others. At the end of the day if a guy can't accept you for the person you are inside and out their opinion is worthless. What matters is what you think of yourself. Wish you the best.

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  • As your most helpful said it's all in your head. Guys find woman attractive in all sorts of ways just like people like different types of icecream. As far as your hand being disgusting, you said yourself it wasn't very noticeable. Most guys aren't looking at your hand anyway except to maybe check for a ring.

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  • Not even a little. It's you the one that making a big deal out of this. Don't worry, no guy will ever turn you down just because of that, they will most likely help you if you need it. Only a real asshole will turn you down, but I guess you don't want to be with this type of guy.

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    • I will remember this, cause you're completely right! I wouldn't ever date a guy like that, but I'm just scared if the guy I am dating founds out about it and then feels disgusted.. But i guess it won't happen since I hate people who judge others.

    • Don't be scared about it, because it won't happen. But you should tell the guy, don't let him find out. We guys want that our girl's tell us their flaws, because that makes us feel important for her.
      It's something that you have to live it, so don't feel bad about it.

  • Simple solution, give handjobs with right hand.

    All possible potential relationship quarrels solved! Fascinating.

    Other than that, you're the only one who knows how it feels, and I doubt it really is that noticeable, or even if it is it doesn't seem like a dealbreaker at all.

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  • nope. not even. what would be the point.

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  • No f**king chance in hell!!! You're over thinking this wayyyyyy too much. It has (or at least should with any decent human being) zero effect on how attractive you are. Honestly to me it would just make you that little bit more unique that actually makes you more attractive. By no means is some little thing like that anything to worry about how attractive you are. It was out of your control anyways, the flaw just means you're human, it means you're real. If ANYONE ever thinks that it makes you less attractive and that you're at a lower standard then everyone else, then that person is complete garbage and not the kind of person you want to be with, honestly a person that shallow is at a lower standard than you, not vice versa. My cousin had some sort of similar situation too, he was born with three fingers (little, ring and middle) and the index and thumb were tiny stubs, the index stub was moved and attached to the thumb stub to create somewhat of an opposable thumb. His "condition" is visible, and yours is simply something you'd have to tell someone. He has a wife and kids and he lives a great life, just don't worry about a god damn thing you and your hand will be just fine :) ps wow I wrote a lot lol hope I helped you out :)

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  • It has become a part of your identity. Men are intially attracted to who you are as a whole, not all the little intricacies, those details that make her special grow on you later.

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    • I kinda hate it because of that, I'd rather not have it. 'Cause it feels like being insecure is a part of my identity just 'cause of that stupid hand of mine. And people tend not to like insecure people..

    • I know this is almost nothing compared to what you have to deal with but I have some straight up random bald spot on the side of my head like right on my hairline on the right side of my forehead. It always has bothered me cause it always looks like my hair is uneven/retardedly oriented. But whatever its a part of who I am and I've come to appreciate it it almost now adds a sense of style to my current haircut.

    • Yeah I see your point! thank you for answering! I'll start thinking like that :)

  • "The ones who mind don't matter, the ones who matter won't mind."

    I forgot who originally created a variation of that quote, so yaa...

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  • no not at all, hands don't matter in terms of looks anyways. and if a guy likes you he'd sure be willing to help with things you may not be able to do. have you ever tried to do exercises or anything to improve your hand?

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  • Hey let me tell you something I don'r Give a FUQ about that because it was not your fault you had a stroke you are still who you are... say for example i hate when girls have breast implants and butt implant in that case it's your fault which would make you Un attractive

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  • I'd show it off like a battlescar!!! For me, I have scar tissue from second degree burns from the right side of my neck down to my chest. Apparently it didn't make me lose my appeal.

    I think you'll be fine ;)

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  • Wouldn't be a dealbreaker. You are making it worse than it is.

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  • depends, its subjective I'm not going to sugar coat it for you... some guys will be put off and some guys won't mind, think of it as a screening process if they can't accept your flaw then are they really that good for you? most guys have imperfections also, everyone has a issue so your not really abnormal... it would be weirder if you were perfect.

    there's perfection in imperfection.

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  • Everyone has flaws, that's what makes them interesting. Chances are, no one will notice and most guys, if they noticed... wouldn't care. You shouldn't worry about it, no need to be disgusted with yourself. Sure, one part of you doesn't work as well as it could but just look at everything else you have. Guys will notice your personality, your hair, your smile... those things will make them look right past a weak hand.

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  • Actually I don't really focus on the physical appearance, (as long as she doesn't have breasts that double as a table.). I appoligize if you do. Its more about the nice friendly personality for me.

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  • If a guy, any guy really likes you and cares about you, no flaw, no matter how big or small will stop him. Trust me on that.

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  • Not at all.

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  • a hand? maybe a pic of it lol. I don't think that would bother that much if you can still use it, there are people who only have one of some fingers cut of.

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    • Sometimes I wish I'd rather have two fingers cut of than having my whole hand in the way all the time. It's much harder to cope with my hand than it seems...
      But I understand what you're saying

  • Like 99% of people have something wrong with their body. I have stretch marks on my butt lol and i'm proud of it because I could have something a lot worse wrong with me. A guy that loves you wouldn't care about something small like that.

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  • Wouldn't change how I feel about her at all.

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  • no I be dating/etc the girl not her hand

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  • Not at all.

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  • No. it won't scare guys away. If you just be yourself and you don't hide anything a man will fall in love with you no matter what :)

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  • Naa.. he will be more worried about what u think of him! ;)

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  • That wouldn't bother me at all. Honestly it would make ME happy to help you more.

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  • Don't think it would bother me.

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  • No it wouldn't make her less attractive.

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  • I wouldn't be bothered by it, really.

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  • Focus on your strengths and Faith.

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What Girls Said 20

  • i thin the reason you might feel like this is cause your insecure about it. i think that youve just over though this thing about your hand and that you shouldn't think like you do. if you go on a date in the future, tell them right away about your hand. or if they ask. tell them. if there's a guy out there who would be bothered by a hand, ditch the fool. or as an other comment said, if the guy has a hand fetish or something i dont see why someone would be so picky about a hand.

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  • omg no! if a guy doesn't love you, or like you for better terms, and doesn't accept your flaws, he isn't with it!! a guy should make you feel a 100% confident about yourself, and even if u think its a flaw, it might be another thing that make you more beautiful!!! if a guy isn't making you feel amazing about yourself, he isn't the right guy for you!!

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  • Im sure guys won't care. Dont be so selfcouncious about it!
    Ur really pretty by the way

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  • I'm sorry you had to go through that at such a young age hun, but unfortunately you will get bullies everywhere but if any guy has a problem with what happened to you then tell him to get to fuck coz he obviously isn't worth your time, but I highly doubt most men will find it as a problem

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  • Babygirl if he has something negative to say about it then he is NOT worth you or your time. You'll still be drop dead gorgeous with or without him so it doesn't matter.

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  • I don't think it will scare away guys, and if they don't like you just because of that, they are not worth it. andd don't feel disgusted about yourself. *hugs*

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  • they wouldn't care at all and probably love you more for it cause it is something that makes you individual

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  • A decent guy wouldn't care at all.

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  • . , we are our owns worst enemy, u have to learn to love the way u are because no one is like u and there ll never be a person in history exactly like u, so be happy because ur different. And if u meet someone they should love u for who u re. "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

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  • I know this is off topic but your so pretty. And your eyebrows are amazing

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  • I can't see that being a problem for 95% of guys.

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    • 5% of pricks haha!
      No but you're right! I've never dated or gotten the opinion of a guy so I think that's also a reason to why I'm insecure

  • I can't imagine anyone caring about that.

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  • No ofcouse not sweetheart real guys like h girls for there personality not looks so don't worry about it if i were a guy i would not worry about that the same way u would not mind if a guys right hand was paralyzed dont worry

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  • I don't think any guy would care about it at all and if he did, he wouldn't be the guy for you.

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  • Not at all. They may not even notice it's there.

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  • Im sorry to heare that devastating story. If he did find u less atractive then he's not the one x

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  • No. I had a guy that i liked and he had been in an accident where now his arm just hangs down but he can move it and his fingers pretty good. I never thought anything about it. I forgot it honestly every time I was with him. It didn't bother him so it didn't bother me.

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  • there is nothing to be disgusted about! If it runs a guy off good! Now hear me out, i say that because if he runs off because of that he was in no way, shape, or form a good guy for you. A guy should be able to accept you for you and all of you. I don't think even you should feel bad about that, but if you do then just din't let that bring you down!

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  • Unless he is staring at your hands extra hard who would notice? lol. I have acne scars all over my face but they're fading and unless someone is exxxtra close no one freaking notices and even when they do they're like idc you;re still pretty. And based off of your picture you are gorgeous!

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    • Yeah you're completely right! I have to think about it like that :)
      And thank you! That's really nice of you!

  • I don't see why you hate it. I wouldn't care for it because it isn't a major thing or it isn't extremely noticeable. I'd ignore it... sorry

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    • no need to be sorry! :) I would think the same if I didn't have a hand like I have, it's not easy to understand; especially if I haven't written out how it works in the question. Thanks for the answer!

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