Am I wrong? Is he an abuser?

I've always been big on communication and I understand women are generally more communicative than men, but am I doing something wrong?

I've been dating this guy, and we text when not together, but sometimes he will become upset with me for texting while he is doing something for work or out with friends.
1. I am a HUGE advocate of personal time with the "Boys" or "the girls".
2. I don't blow up his phone
3. He doesn't tell me when he is busy/out with friends. He only becomes upset.

I'm not a mind reader.

He also went from being very sweet to kind of cold. He forgot my birthday and then when he was reminded of my birthday, he didn't care. When I had a major family emergency, he didn't check up on me.
Yet, he still wants to take me out on dates.

Is he potentially a future abuser?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He sounds like an asshole id just stop talking to him.
    But can't really tell if he's an abuser or not just from what u wrote


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 4

  • Have you guys had sex? That could have a lot to do with it. For most men having sex drains you of his esteem of you. He has to default on what little foundation he has established with you.

    No, I would not say he is an abuser, or is going to be one, although he certainly could become abusive.

    • No I haven't had sex with him

    • Show All
    • You left out some pretty pertinent information.

      It sounds like he is just not interested in you.

    • There was only one world last time I checked.

  • It sounds like he may be losing interest in the relationship, but I don;t see anything here that leads me to believe he's an abuser.

  • Are you truly 18-24? If you are under 18 I could understand your question but for an adult to be asking if what you stated is "future abuser" material is just... wow... (wow being a massive understatement).

    • Yes
      I meant on the basis of him exploding with anger

  • Nothing you said has anything to do with him being an abuser. It sounds more like you are trying to invent more problems so you can justify leaving him, because on some level you already want to end things. I would say the fact he forgot your birthday shows just how little he thinks of you. It doesn't sound like he is prepared to be the kind of guy you are looking for.

    • Maybe you're right
      I'm not trying to invent problems, though
      But I probably do want to end things... Actually Im pretty sure I do


What Girls Said 4

  • I wouldn't really say that he's an abuser. I'd say that he's just super inconsiderate and tactless. But then again, those aren't exactly attractive traits either.

  • Any person you meet is potentially a future abuser but I wouldn't say this dude raises any red flags on that front. He just seems insensitive.

  • It's impossible to say if he is or isn't a future abuser but he sounds very immature whatever his reasons for acting so strangely. You've said elsewhere that you're quite sure you want to end it, well I suggest you do that sooner rather than later, it also feels a lot better psychologically to be the person ending things. You can do it on your own terms then.

  • In which way does he abuse you, coz from what you state in your question there is no evidence of it , it seems like he isn't that interested in you really