Busy Boyfriend, clingy girlfriend or not?

I've been with my guy for about 6 months. I love him, he says he loves me, happy sappy, yada yada yada. He's recently gotten extremely busy. We don't talk almost ever. Occasionally he says goodnight and stuff. That's pretty much the extent of our conversations. Should I be concerned? Or should I just understand that He's just busy, let it go, and wait till he's less busy? I just don't understand that out of 24 hours and the advancements in technology, how five minutes isn't in his grasp. Or am i being that clingy girlfriend? I don't bug him, I'm not on his case, I pretty much leave him be because I'm trying to be as supportive as possible. Today, I got lost in my own head, thinking that maybe he's forgotten about me. Guys, am I just being an idiot?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in the same exact place!!!
    My boyfriend is super busy and I feel like our communication is so dry... He works and go to school all day everyday, he has no days off. Full time student and basically at his job. I often feel I'm clingy as well. I feel that just try and be considerate, look from his perspective. I don't know about your boyfriend but mine is a nursing major and has a load of work, exams every week and studying for the nursing exam. Than works 9 to 5, just know that deep down he loves you and if he had time he would spend it with. Don't think negative, we can do this! Lol

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    • You add to my positive point of view. I think yesterday I was just down in the dumps over it - and today - I just think, the dude is busy and I should know that he'll find me when he isn't.
      Thanks for your feedback!

    • Yes it'll take some time to get used to, just don't drive yourself crazy. Trust me I did that by sending paragraphs of non-sense to him and making assumptions. It pissed him off but he forgave me. I hope everything works out for you. Thinking postive for the both of us :)

What Guys Said 1

  • You didn't explain anything about what your boyfriend does or why he's so busy. Speaking from my own experiences I'd say that yes, you are nuts. Guys don't need that attachment or to talk to their girls every friggin day, especially the longer into the relationship you are. Age is a big factor too I think. I'm not as clingy as I once was when I was younger.

    So if your guy is on an oil rig for a living and only comes home once every 6 weeks then yes... just give him a break.

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    • He has a very demanding job, as of late. I know this and I have accepted it. I don't feel the need to speak everyday, exactly. However, every couple of days would be nice. Besides, we don't see each other as often as we used to. Both of our jobs require lots of time spent at work. We don't live together - so we don't come home and talk about our days. I've always been hard working and dedicated to my job, but I've never made the person i was dating feel like they were a last priority. Unless, however, I really didn't care if they stayed or left. This is different and I do care if he stays or leaves.

      I'm being supportive, leaving him alone, and allowing him to do his thing. I have been giving him a break, haha. I just wanted to know if i have unreasonable expectations to hear from him more often than every three days - JUST because he's a little busy.

      Thanks for your feedback!

    • Maybe not Unreasonable but you have to view it from his perspective too. Seeing as how you're busy maybe his point of view is that he'd rather not bother you, ever thought of that? At any rate, if it bothers you that much just talk to him about it.

      I certainly don't think that every 3 days is a bad thing tho, especially given how busy you BOTH are.

What Girls Said 3

  • You're not being an idiot as there is arguably a reason for you to worry, but you're probably overthinking it. I went through a similar phase with my boyfriend, where we went from hanging out every single day to seeing each other briefly once a week at most. I worked myself into a frenzy, thinking he got sick of me after just 2-3 months.

    One time after we hung out we got to talking and I just told him I feel pretty sidelined, and would appreciate at least a text or call if we can't chill for a few days. He was completely clueless as to how I felt, but after I let him know he made sure to keep in touch.

    6 months is long enough together that he should care. Try to just nicely ask him to reach out via cell phone at least once every day or 2.

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    • I've actually tried to tell him this stuff. He leaves his "work switch" on a lot - and it's like he forgets he's talking to his girlfriend when I try and tell him things I'm feeling. Then he goes into the guilt trip about how I'm mad he's trying to advance in his job, etc, etc.

      Thanks for your feedback!

  • people really do carry on a lot of reponsibilities and other things in life the best thing to do is be understanding the more understanding you are the more likely your relationship will work out still show you care by pics or simple short text or leaving a long message something funny but not to long just be understanding as much as you can your relationship can only go stronger getting threw tough times like these if you miss him maybe you making the first step and going to see him and coming to see him will make him not only happy but my friend did it and her relationship has worked out amazingly now there clingy and so close together my friend and her boyfriend to be honest i love space and so i could not do it plus i rather me and who ever i get involved with to make time for other important people in our life and both get some where by working a lot and talking once in a while or weekends

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  • IDK! I do see some flashing yellow lights.
    You seem measured and mature.
    Maybe do a little disconnect for a few days and see what happens.
    If the line goes dead you know it's over.
    If it opens up you have just learned something about him.

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    • Thanks for your feedback! I don't think he's going to allow the "line to go dead." I truly just think that he feels it's okay to turn off relationships for a little craziness at work. We'll see how it goes!

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