Is this emotionally cheating?

This is how the story goes. I was out with my friend clubbing and decided to be her wingman. She saw a guy and I approached him. Later he told me he is too shy to approach girls, as well as dating and he'd prefer if we all saw eachother as a group instead of just him and my friend. I told him that's fine and he then wanted my number so that I could help set it all up. I was a bit drunk and it made sense at the time but the next day he made it clear that he was interested in me. I told Samuel that I'm seeing a guy (Matt) but I would still be happy to set him up with my friend. Mistunderstandings happen. He was disappointed but accepted it. Back then I'd only been out on one date with Matt and hung out with him and a couple of friends of his two times, I really liked him though and I'm not the type to date more than one guy at a time.

Matt and I have now been dating for three months and I've fallen for him completely.
Samuel and I have been texting (not the whole time and not regularly) and have become friends. I'm not interested in him romantically, never was.

Matt know that I was out that night and wingmanned my friend but he doesn't know that the guy was interested in me nor that we now are friends.
I didn't even consider it as emotionally cheating until I read a question here on GaG. I'm big on honesty and trust and I'm now worried that I've been a complete bitch and cheated on him without even realising it?

Samuel has never tried anything since I told him about Matt and I would never want to be romantically involved with Samuel.

Does this count as cheating? What do I do? Should I tell Matt? And how would I do that in that case?

We haven't had the talk about us being in a relationship, so we aren't official I guess but I don't want it to be about a technicality. We both agreed on wanting a relationship. I just want to give all the facts so you are able to help me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's emotionally cheating so long as you don't lead Sam on. GAG can spin definitions and meanings far out of control, so I see where you're coming from. You can have guy friends and text them, but not act on ANY feelings... which it sounds like you have none for Sam. You can't help guys being interested in you, but you CAN help how you act with him. Just as long as it remains strictly platonic as it is now, you're not cheating.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It's a misunderstanding. You don't have to tell Matt about speed bumps that will worsen your relationship unless those things have something to do with him. You didn't cheat.

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  • That definition is vague and its based on each individual case for me and my relarionship it is but that's because the side affects of my girlfriend talking to guys distanced us she chose me over having other guys to talk to and now the way she talks to me and the ammount of time she wants to spend with me has changed so much and I'm happy to say that it's been positive for us both and where I felt insecure I now feel safer emotionally with a woman that I believe Im going to marry someday

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What Girls Said 1

  • first of all hun you are not a bitch don't call yourself that you answered your own question you sound so assure of what you want and who you like witch is matt your sticking to match don't second guess it you trust yourself so as long as your trust yourself and stick to what you say matt will trust you to if you do that but i wouldn't panic over something that will never be with samuel you need to believe in yourself to not hurt matt because you clearly are committed to matt no matter what you guys are now and you would want matt to do the same

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