Do girls know what they want?

Do girls have a pre existing idea of what they are looking for in a guy? if so how detailed is this idea? or do girls have to explore different guys in order to find out?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Girls don't know what they want.

    Women know what they want.

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    • I like that!

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    • hah ha ok @asker :i'm really glad you found this conversation entertaining :)

    • i have its been great :) thank you both for replying

What Girls Said 48

  • I don't think I've ever really had a 'type' as every guy I have liked has been veryyy different and all surprise me in different ways as to why I like them.

    I have a basic guy template I guess. Would like him to be at least an inch or so taller than me. Although personality is a hugeeeee factor! He has to be sweet and put the graft in for me! I don't expect a guy to talk to me 24/7 or force communication, but if I consider us serious I would like to have a decent chat at least once every couple of days.

    Help me with me question? :( (on profile)

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    • i shall make haste in helping. but its good that you seem to know what you are looking for

  • All the women i know know what trey wants. they dont need to explore different guys to find what they want. they just need to go through different guys till theory get what they are looking for.

    guys are often not what they appear. they put a lot of energy into attracting a person then once they get involved their real character shines trough sand often its not so shiny. so it takes a while to wade through outside appearances.

    as for me i like respectful honest affectionate. like really values touch. not just doing it to placate me. he wants it. . those are my two top criteria outside of looks. looks thin long hair and at least my height.

    Then intelligence in some form. doesn't have to be academic.

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    • ah okay i understand. so is there a certain someone you are describing?

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    • can you not just log out though? :)

    • i dont think you can have more than one account per address. and i dont already have one.

  • No we don't
    yes we do
    no we don't
    yes, I want it now!
    Wait, maybe not...

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  • Personally speaking, I have a general idea of what I want a guy to be like. I know what is attractive physically, but tbh that doesn't matter if i want to date him. I'm a personality and morals person. I know what basics I want and things that would be nice from a guy, but I'm not really super picky either. (Lucky for me I have a guy with all my basic qualities and a bunch more)

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    • ah and which qualities are those?

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    • @Asker
      No need thank me, I'm here to help. :)

  • I know what I want. I can't talk for the rest. It is similar what I look for in friend. Honest, kind, confident, mature, trusting, non judging.
    When we talk about partner, there are other things added of course. I want to feel he is with me, even we are not together physically. Etc etc
    And I am pretty sure, I don't want arrogant and judgmental person. This I learned from my ex. I will never forget this lmao

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    • haha well thats good that you know. and it seems that tyou did have to explore to know what you dont want

  • So I have a basic idea of morals/principles a guy should have and from there I just go with it

    I know what I like when I find it :)

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  • I can't speak for others, but I definitely know what I want from a relationship and I already have all I need. :D

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  • I used to know exactly what I wanted but now its always been confusing. Men are pike women we are all different and not one will be exact like the other but I don't want any bad qualities in a man. Such a lazy, racist, possessive, mean, antisocial, sexist, abusive, machista, ect. Not going to lie, I doo wish for him to be easy on the eyes looks isn't all but counts for something. A nice personality, humor, easy to talk to, caring, romantic, active, fun and strong is something I hope he has.

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    • it sounds like you still know exactly what you want :') you must have someone on your mind

    • Well it changes tbh over time I am learning what really matters. Umm yes and no... lol I'm just crushing by nothing set in stone.

    • so when are you gonna make your move? :')

  • I have 5 rules and that's it
    1. He must make me happy
    2. He needs to have goals and the ability to get and hold down a job
    3. He can't be involved in any illegal activity
    4. He has to want kids
    5. He needs to be able to talk to me openly and not keep secrets or keep things bottled up
    I don't care about much else

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    • are these 5 manditory, say if rule 5 was broken could you still be with him?

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    • Forgot the @mention... @Worldsugliestman

    • I don't call myself the Worldsugliestman for a reason. Everyone lies no one's prefect.

  • to be honest.. i don't really know what i want

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  • Before you start talking to guys you have the cinderella-prince situation as your biggest desire, but when you discover guys and realize they are so much multi-faceted than that, you realize what you wanted was a guy whose not a murderer. So yah, i have no type... thats basically what i'm saying.

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    • ahaha wow, right in the pride :') so are you sure there isn't something you would prefer in a guy?

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    • love is just too intense this early... though it might be, anyway, it was my pleasure!!

    • haha dont get me started on "love"

  • My type is someone who is artistic, geekish, and sweet...
    However, all girls have their different taste in guys.
    Some might search for personalities/abilities,
    others might search for their wealth, or of how the guy looks..
    Some girls might also explore multiple guys to find "the one."

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    • ahh thats true i guess. have you any idea about what you would want physically in a guy?

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    • Heheh... I suppose~

    • i applaud you for it.

  • I've explored and I know what I want.. I have found him. If I could have him? Well that's left in his fate.. takes time though

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    • is there something you want to talk about?

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    • Aw good luck with it :) is there a boundary of somekind for why it's not as simple as girl likes guy, guy likes girl?

    • @LovesTVDx thanks sweety ☺️ Um boundaries? There shouldn't be any boundaries at all, you wouldn't know what you want till you have explored a bit

  • Do guys know what girls want? that's the real question..

    we know what we want and we work to get it how about you guys

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  • I feel like girls have a pre-existing idea of what they look for growing up, but as time goes by, they grow older, date. The idea begins to shift as they find out certain ideals aren't necessarily ideals or their expectations are too high/low, etc. So I thinks its a bit of everything you just asked.

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  • I dated around, and it helped me make better ideas of what I wanted in a man, but even before that.. I had specific rules about what I did and didn't want in a guy.

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    • so what do you think you want in a man? and not want?

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    • ohhh i see. those are the kinds of things i do or would do. i said stupid cause like you say, its a bit dated

    • Whats your standards?

  • Depends on the girl, I've always know what I like, but Best friend doesn't
    Probably doesn't help you though, still a. Coin toss lol

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    • haha so you are sure about what kind of guy will make you happy?

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    • well thats a good thing :) thank you for your input

    • Your very welcome :)

  • They figure it out through trial and error. I really had not much clue until a few years ago.

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    • so do you know what will make you happy? :)

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    • hahah monopolise all you like

    • 👍👍👍

  • Yes, I know what I want.
    Very detailed.
    No, I don't have to explore different guys in order to find out.

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  • girls don't know what they want probably will never know we're indecisie

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    • hmm well a lot of girls here may disagree with you there. are you saying what many girls here have, that girls have a basic idea, but it can vary and change a bit. just a little more extreme? :')

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    • nothing is these days

    • you sound tense

  • Some do, some don't. I do know what I want in life and what expectations I have from me and from my life and I also know what I want in a man. I don't like dump, immature and "bag guys" so these are the biggest turn offs for me. I want a down to earth, mature, hard working, kind and smart guy.

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  • when it comes to relationships I don't have a clue, but all i can say is that he has to make laugh lol

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  • I know what I want and don't want in a man in general. I tend not to want to go into specifics when I'm thinking of that "special someone".

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    • so what do you want and not want?

    • Pretty simple, want someone funny, good looking, intelligent, and hardworking
      Don't want, an asshole.
      It's really that general lol. Just depends a lot on my chemistry with the guy rather than some superficial "list" I've thought of in my mind.

    • ah thats true, well thank you very much for sharing that with us :)

  • I've liked all different types of guys. Generally most of them can be put in the same category but there are a few who were not what I regularly like. I don't think I really have a type

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    • but aren't there anythings you know you will look for in a guy?

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    • no of course not! But I also wouldn't stop myself from giving a guy a chance just because he doesn't have things in common with past crushes. I may also be more open due to the fact that I've never had a boyfriend and I've been rejected 19 tines in the last 2 years.

    • well i have never had a girlfriend, so i dont have a clue what i want haha at least you are getting there

  • We know what we want, we know what we don't want, but we settle and try to work with what we get...

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    • you settle? i see settle as having negative connotations

    • Once you see men through a woman's point of view then you'll know why. Event he "nice guys" can secretly be douche hats.

    • oh dear, ye of little faith. i take it guys have hurt you quite a bit in the past. and dont you worry i hate most guys i meet :')

  • Ik exactly what I want but things always come up

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  • yes but it takes some exploration

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    • do you know what you want?

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    • anyway thank you for replying :)

    • no probs :)

  • i've gone through phases but it's always been about looks.

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    • are the looks more important to you? or do you mean that you only really know what you want in terms of looks, but dont know what you want personality wise?

    • i have always just wanted a sweet boyfriend to be lovey dovey with. natural, cute, affectionate, shy.

    • im glad that most girls are looking for a guy like that haha

  • For a girl with little experience... I've had plenty of guys around me. I know what I want. I hope to find him one day too. I'm pretty confident right now that I will too.

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    • so what is it you are looking for in a guy?

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    • Looks: Just gonna say, I like white guys more than black or anythjng but anything can do :) long hair (like I said he time) but short hair is okay. My height and taller. Love light eyes. Can't be super skinny, like scrawny.

      Personality: well a guys personality can be confusing but I want a guy that's kind, sweet, caring, chill, talkative. Someone that likes to go outside and stay at home on certain days. And I'm not gonna say, I don't want a guy that's gonna be a jerk, because at some point... every guy can be a jerk. Just like don't be a asshole or a dick about everything xD

      (I could the a lot more for both but ehhh haha can't think of it all)

    • sounds like a guy i would get along with well. i hope you find a guy like that :) by the way you are one of my favourite responders because you said long hair haha

  • Yep, I know what I want.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 15

  • If you EVER figure out that question you can be assured of one thing - you have probably lost your mind and become delusional!!!

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  • I suggest the documentary "Science of Sex Appeal" it is readily available on netflix.
    But i think money, Is the defining thing women look for.
    They want what they don't have. I. e. The wife of a successful investment banker wants the construction worker, while the wife of the construction worker wants the banker.

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  • most girls are messed up i believe

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  • They know what they want.
    Trouble is that they only want it until they get it. A few years later, they'll hate it and despise you for being exactly what they wanted.
    That's why you trade them in every 4 years.

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    • oh wow, i think the pattern here is that most of the girls who respond to this question are waiting to meet the right person, whereas most of the guys have given up haha

  • Yes they do, and I also know what they want. They want the

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  • I think that, everyone, men included, have to do some searching before they figure out what they want. Some may know right off, and some may not. Just my opinion.

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  • Girls want different things at different times. I think women are less biologically inclined for manogomy than men in this aspect.

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    • manogamy? forgive me for my ignorance but can you explain to me what that is?

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    • yeah uh fathers are not the 'lesser men'.

    • As far as a primate and dominance stand point they are according to science.

  • Girls are attracted to social status. Guys are attracted to looks.

    The former can change pretty quickly, the latter only changes gradually over many years.

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    • haha do you condemn the male of the species for this? :')

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    • That's not all the care about, but that's one thing that most females in teens and early twenties care about just as much as most males

    • ah well fair enough then, thank you for your input

  • When a person grows up, he or she gains experience. So she knows what's best for her.

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    • so you believe that people have to find out what they want?

    • That's not what I've said. People want different things in different moments in their lives, but with age comes better judgement.

    • do you not believe that experience creates better judgement?

  • I belive everyone got there own general idea of what they want and life shapes wwant we want more.

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    • perhaps yes, but if i were asked what i am looking for i would struggle to answer. generally i agree with you though

  • Of they don't. Or else most wouldn't be dating douchebags

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    • maybe thats what they are aiming for. what you and i call douchebags, they probably call excitement and manliness

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    • Your welcome. One woman couldn't handle the truth and downvoted me lol

    • hahaha well i think its easy to disagree with what has been said, but i think everyone who has responded has a point

  • Nope they think they do but they don't.

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    • some girls have said the same thing here, but some of them are quite sure of what they want

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    • But at least we guys tend to say what they mean.

    • true actually and yet we come off as jerks

  • "Do girls know what they want?"

    LOL!

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  • no they dont and because of that im currently on anti depressants and pills who calm me down when ever im losing it... I've been going through a 6-7 week phase of playing hot and cold on me, and last time we had sex 4 times, and now currently she doesn't want me around anymore, she cheated on someone she doesn't love not me, i was dating her before. thanks to her im a way more agressive person, way more impatient and i have feelings of emptiness... while i was just looking for love, she is the most selfish, egoistic girl i have ever met

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    • dont let that scum ruin you. you are better than to be a product of her vile

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    • i will tell her this, if i see her together with this other loser i ve seen around ill attack the guy, in front of her and everyone else, petathic

    • no dont do that, it will make you look so weak, even if you deck the guy

  • Contrary to popular belief, this is not a gender thing even though girls will catch most of the flak for this. Have you ever noticed how the TRULY confident and secure girls will either have a strong idea of what they're looking for, or are willing to test the waters with someone but won't put up with any shit? Have you also noticed how RARE this confidence is? Most people (guys and girls alike) do NOT have a truly solid, unshakeable sense of self-confidence and security. It's unfortunately a sad reality that average (at best) confidence is the norm in people. Parents don't challenge their kids, kids/young people don't challenge themselves or their notions about things until they're much older and have more time for life experiences.

    So relating all of that back to the idea that girls don't know what they want, PEOPLE don't really know what it is they want. They have this vague idea of what sort of realistic person they're looking for, or can at least put up with. Then on top of this, they have this very fragmented idea of various traits of their ideal mate. Looks this way, acts that way, has these sort of interests/things in common, does those sort of behaviors/gestures, so on and so forth.

    The difference between that and true confidence? A truly confident (and realistic) person doesn't even have a strong preconceived notion of what a person should be like before they even meet them. They take people as they come, live out experiences as they happen. Young people are naturally going to lack an idea of what is worthwhile, what they like, and what the world can actually offer. But since everyone accepts and enables behaviors that allow for insecurity to become the norm, it's the same as an average soccer player teaching another person how to play. They'll both be average, at best.

    So do yourself a favor and get rid of this idea that girls are dimwitted and inconsistent, because you'll end up painting that image on most every girl you meet.

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    • a very good piece of work :) but hang on, are you saying that i think girls are dimwitted or inconsistent? cause i swear i dont and i never meant to put that impression across

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    • Yeah, it's good that you're asking questions. That's one more thing that most guys DON'T do lol. But really, there is no science to this sort of stuff because you have to take each girl as she comes. The best way to go about things is to make sure you have your OWN shit straight and your ducks all lined up.

      When you have a solid, strong sense of yourself and how to enjoy yourself in the moment, then it won't matter who or what you're looking for- you'll have plenty to occupy yourself in the meantime. If you find someone along the way, great! If not, you weren't wasting time and you were still enjoying life.

    • some excellent advice :) thank you

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