After a series of failed relationships at the age of 28, I would like to stay single and sleep around forever?

Something I'm doing is wrong. I need to find myself, and experience more before entering another relationship. I do NOT want a relationship until the man is worth marrying to be honest. From now on, I want to travel, work on finding my passions and sleep around with lots of men. Anyone have any experience in this lifestyle? Anyone ever feel the same way?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's what you probably should have done earlier. Go out, have fun, bang a bunch of studs (but have safe sex), and when you get all of that out of your system. Find a nice guy to settle down with.

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    • I agree... But it took until now to see the light. And it's not my ex's faults. I'm just as at fault for the failed relationships, which I partially blame it on my lack of life experience (I was always the goodie-goodie home body)

    • Well, shit happens. Past is the past, no go enjoy yourself for a while before getting into another relationship.

What Guys Said 8

  • You can do whatever you want but I just wanted to add my 2 cents on this:"But if he seemed marriage worthy, I wouldn't sleep with him so soon. I would want to build something first"

    So basically you're going to have a bunch of casual no strings attached sex with loses and then when you meet a quality guy that's WORTHY of marraige, you're going to take it slow and make him wait. So that mean lucky is going to have to wait months getting to know you, investing his time, trust, and emotions into you before he can have sex. So he'd be waiting months for something that all the other guys got early on with little to no effort. AND on top of that he gets to marry you. So you're expecting this "mairrage worthy" guy to wait for something the other guys got easily and he has to buy you an expensive ring and take the risk of having to pay child support and alimony if things go south (which considering your track record for long-term relationships, it wouldn't be surprising if things do go south).
    Boy is that guy going to feel special.
    I've got nothing against girls sleeping around but when this sorta stuff irritates me. If uou sleep around, you should be happy marrying the guy th at slept around. Don't sleep around and then expect a good mairage quality guy to marry you. Sex isn't special if you force a guy to wait for something that you give away for free to everyone else. Honestly it's shit like this that makes me never want to get married.

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    • When I say "marriage quality" I mean someone I connect with physically and mentally in a way that I never have before.. someone who I NEED to be with. Someone who is my best friend. I don't mean a guy who meets all of these stupid and typical qualifications of what a husband should be. I could care less about his past. And the reason WHY I would make a guy whom I see a future with wait for sex isn't just to play games. It's because having sex alters and gets in the way of growing something more with a guy (sometimes). Have you ever been into a girl and before you got to know her and truly learn about her, you guys had sex and then all of the sudden the dynamic changes? It happens. Thats a real thing. And that's why I don't immediately sleep with men who I actually want to build something with. I'd rather wait and connect more before introducing the sex. I notice how much negative feedback I'm receiving from men, which is ironic considering how much they sleep around. What a crock.

    • Well i dont sleep around, so I think I'm justified to want a girl that doesn't sleep around. She doesn't have to be a virgin or anything but I'd like a girl that only sleeps with people she's in a relationship with. I agree that it's good to take the time to know someone before you sleep with them. But if i dated a girl who had one night stands it makes it less special to know I waited 3 months for something that 5-10 other guys got within a week. It's not that I have a problem waiting for sex but I want a girl that's consistent and makes all the guys wait for sex. You said a guy would never know, does that mean if a guy asked you about your history that youd lie? The past may not matter to you but some people do care, I think if a guy is modest he has a right to want a modest girl.

  • "After a series of failed relationships" - I know that feel.

    hold me.

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  • I dont want to be mean, but you will have a hard time finding a man WORTH marrying with this mentality. A girl who want to sleep with a lot of men dont attract nice guy usually :(

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    • Its not like I would have a sign on my forehead saying "I sleep around"... I would simply enjoy being single in the privacy of my own home. With whomever I please. SO the man I decide to marry would never find out unless I slept with him immediately. But if he seemed marriage worthy, I wouldn't sleep with him so soon. I would want to build something first

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    • You realize that MOST men don't ask that right? I have't been asked that since I was in my teens... And if a guy ever did, I would tell him none of his business.

    • Well, im not gonna tell you how to live your life, you r free to do whatever you want, but im just saying that you will have a hard time attracting nice guy with that ''slutty'' mentality. Sure, if you lie about your past, or dont answer their questions etc.. It can work, but the real question will be more are YOU worth marrying? because, coming from a nice guy perspective, I would say no. But thats just my personal opinion, other nice guy might just dont care about your past and how many men you slept with

  • Yes, and you can travel here and sleep with me if you want. But in my opinion this lifestyle gets old real quick.

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  • Seems you are deserved of such a lifestyle.

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  • how about you start by sleeping with me.

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  • I feel this way right now, but I'm 27. But I've gotten to the point where I've thought I do not mind being on my own.

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    • You know they say that people don't make you happy. You make yourself happy by the things that you do, then that happiness that you generate on your own gets passed onto others.

      I don't know whether sleeping with lots of different men will work, because I see you eventually getting attached to someone. But I feel that way sometimes, too. But understand that the idea and expectation and the results from the reality often times are so different.

  • Serious question for you: do you like beer? Dead serious, answer honestly, I'll explain why after the answer.

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    • No why

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    • Thank you for your input :)

    • Haha, I've been at the bitter stage too. Whatever choices you make, just be sure you do it in a self-affirming way rather than with a "screw you past assholes" edge. You'll end up happier for it either way.

      And no problem on the input, always happy to help.

What Girls Said 3

  • If you need to get that out of your system before settling down, then go for it. Just stay safe.

    I have a friend who did something like that. She did peace corps then traveled to a bunch of other countries before coming back to the states. Even when she got a full time job here, she managed traveling to several other states for vacation. Had a few casual relationships along the way. Now she's been with her current boyfriend for almost 3 years. She says the travel gets really tiring after a while.

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  • I did that from age 19-21. Now i'm 22 and engaged. I think if i'd be end 20s i wouldn't ever go for this. I mean its not gonna be easier to find a men when you turn into a 'maneater, (nice word for this).

    If you want to start a family later on I recommend you to keep going on dates and meet guys who have the same relationship goals like you do.

    Why did it never work out with the other guys though?

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  • Sleeping around with lots of men is sort of a risky idea

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