My mom is making my relationship harder than it ought to be... Help?

Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating a good 2 months or so and every week it seems it's getting harder and harder and it isn't our fault... My mom has recently decided I can't go to his house because it's an apartment and she doesn't trust us... She also decided if we see eachother at a club like speech and debate that's all we need for that weekend. I only see him once a week and if I can't see him outside of a club every week I will die. He wants me to tell her off because she is constantly changing rules and being mean to me... But if I do she could easily take him away... What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Parents, im one lol, she needs to understand through kids will do the exact opposite of what they are told. By telling u that u can't see him she is pushing u more towards him. A good parent would give the child trust and then be there to pick up the pieces when they fall. She may not listen but u do need to talk to her again. Discuss it like an adult, talk about sex and the fact u know the risks and will not be doing anything like that with him (even if u are) and school is the most important thing and you'll continue to get good grades and improve. Yet by not seeing your bf it is only going to affect those grades and tell her that would be her fault. Tell her u love him and she can trust u because she has brought u up so well and you are level headed etc and know right from wrong. Tell her to give u a chance to prove it by increasing the time she allows u to see him. Good luck

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    • Thanks you very much! Sadly I've already had these talks with her and she says by not dropping the subject and just doing what she says it gives her reason to distrust. I disagree of course but at this point what can I do? Now my bf is planning to confront her and tell her off but this will only end in her making us break up I'm sure... The problem is he says we hardly have a relationship if we abide to her rules so... He will leave me if I don't do something or let him try... He would rather try and fix it that be stuck in an unhappy relationship. I don't blame him but I'm devestated... It looks to me that we aren't going to be together much longer and I'm miserable. I feel like I'm dying but it's like starting chess from a checkmate, any move and I lose.

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    • I know he will start off like that but she will get angry, she it's level headed an she hears what she wants to. She will get angry and take it out on me an he will lose it...

    • He can't lose it or she then holds all the cards and has an excuse to say negative things about him. If she gets heated then he just needs to say ok. I respect your opinion so we'll leave it there for now and walk away but don't stop seeing each other fight it but in a smart way because she can't control this forever

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 4

  • It's hard when you are underage, living under mom's roof and under her tyrannical thumb as well, OOM, but for now, if you and your soul mate love one another, work together until you are old enought o leave the nest and be able to make it on your own.
    Sit down and make a game plan together that will best suit your needs and won't get Mother Hen clucking and suspecting. Compromise, Improvise and before you know it, you will be Over age and she can no longer be shaking her ruffled feathers at you.
    For now, put your other straw boss, your boyfriend, in his place, and keep him a Breast of the ol' Mother Hen or you will always regret that he came home to roost... this will Not get him any faster through the front door with her Now Nor in the future.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Halloween is right around the corner.. put on your thinking caps of maybe going trick or treating.. xx

  • First of all, you won't die if you don't see him. Second, have you sat down and talked to your mom? Tell her how you feel when she doesn't let you see your boyfriend. Tell her that you're hurt because you feel she doesn't trust you, and if that's really the case, ask her what her concerns are and if there is a way to make her change that.

    Consider having your boyfriend hang out at your house with your mom there, and plan activities to go out all together. That way she may feel more comfortable letting you go out.

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    • Thanks but sadly you don't quite understand... My mom has sociopath like tendencies and has little to no care about how I feel. I've been getting amazing grades and Noah has come over on many occasions just to hang out. She has no reason to feel suspicious but is. she won't listen to my opinion!

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    • Try talking to a school counselor, they might be able to help you on how to interact with your mom and make her soften up a little bit.

      For now you should try just texting and talking on Skype often. It could be like a long-distance relationship with the plus that you see him once a week.

    • Okay :) thanks. I guess I just feel bad because my boyfriend is so sad about her rules... :/

  • I understand this completely, my dad found out about my boyfriend and said I couldn't speak to him again. :c Maybe, try to talk your feelings out with your mom, but, make sure not to yell or say insults. Talk about it calmly with her. Make comprises. Ask if you and your boyfriend can go places still or walk around the block or something. You can ask if a group of friends can go with you to his house or out places. I wish you the best and I know it's hard not being able to see him, my bf lives in another sate and I don't get to see him at all. :c I wish you the best! :)

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  • People seriously need to stop telling their parents about their personal life. Make your mother think you broke up with your boyfriend and continue seeing him secretly.

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