Girls: Why the "bad guys?" Seriously... (Page 2)
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Hey dude, just hang in there. I'm a nice guy, a few years older than you, and can tell you that girls looking for a nice guy will come along. Even the ones that are completely opposite of you will come knocking. Just be careful not to let them think that you're too available or else they might not be too interested. The thing is, you have to remember that eventually, most girls (nice, not nice, drinkers, etc...) want to settle down and start a family someday (marry). This usually happens after their stage(s) (if applicable) of going after someone they're not going to end up with (or whatever kind of dude) is over and they want to find somebody to, like I said, marry. So I would not take any comments from chicks too seriously which make statements giving 100% support to the not so nice guy and saying "nice guys finish last". It's just not true. You're just too young to realize it.
Charizzle's last paragraph is true. Girls or maybe even the right girl will come along for you in time.
Dr. Jones gives some nice pointers, you should take a look at them.
And don't forget, girls like "shygurl0897" can be pretty hot too, but just have a shy personality.
I feel that I can speak to this from personal experience. I'm sure you've heard a lot of the psychology behind it..."Girls look for their fathers in their lovers..." well unfortunately it's generally true, and when we first start dating, the qualities we tend to look for usually aren't the good ones. I think most girls have issues (on some level) with their fathers...and we look to the men we date to fulfill some affirmation we didn't get from Dad. Additionally, women naturally want to nurture a guy...so subconsciously I think we seek out the mysterious ones that we can't quite figure out so we can try and figure out what nurturing they need. Usually this is to no avail...especially with guys who are just using us for the energy we so willingly give them. It's really great on their ego. And once we've developed a bad cycle with men who don't appreciate us...we tend to repeat that cycle until we become aware of it and CONSCIOUSLY break it. Ultimately I think most of us who are relatively sane eventually make the choice to be with someone who appreciates us because we realize that affirmation we think we need from Daddy is just an illusion and nobody can really fulfill that for us. But generally this doesn't happen until we've had a few pretty brutal relationships. My advice is to be patient - the time for nice guys comes when girls become women. And until then, don't be overly available every time they need a shoulder to cry on. Nothing is hotter than a nice guy who's confident and doesn't allow himself to be used and abused for his caring nature.
I LOVE this answer because it actually makes sense to me! lol :)
This is the best answer so far.
Girls don't like bad boys they like dominant men. Speaking for myself I've always gone out with the bad boys, the ones who were assholes. What kept me around was the way they carried themselves as men and how dominant they were. They would always pay, usually came up with the activities and was the leader of the dates. Women are usually controling and when their with a man they want him to be the one to pull the strings no matter how much they might deny it, I wouldn't go out or try to be with a nice guy because of retarded excuses like he's too sweeet, he's too caringg and blah blah. Yes we want a nice guy but don't tend to like them because he isn't dominant enough. We want the guy to be the leader not be up our a*** and leave everything up to us. Such as... what do you want to do baby, where do you want to eat, when do you want to meet up, and etc. Do not confuse this with demanding we just want dominant. We like bad boys because they are independent and not needy or clingy and nice guys fall into these catagories usually. We want confident men. Don't be up our a*** trying to please us just be besides us or even ahead of us.
just be more confident and trust yourself don't go up to girls trying to be their friend first because that's what you'll get. WE like the bad boys simply because their confident not desperate independent and they don't make us their whole world when we start to date them. girls always want what they can't get aka we like a challenege as much as you guys.
We also complain that they do not treat us right because their jerks, for the reason that they don't have the personality but the right traits to get us hooked.
That is sooo true!but why 24/7?even a bad boi needs some peace and time to chill. why not like give us a day off?i don't know like sunday or something or even a weekday I don't mind!thats where it went wrong with my ex. was with her for over 2years. she openly admitted that she fell for me because I was confident, kept her on her heels and possess qualities of a "real man"?(whatever that is) anyways to cut it short. I wasn't a d*** or nothing I mean I did all those thngs.not to impress her that's just..
That was dead on. I wouldn't say it better.
Women go through certain phases. Eventually, with 'evolved' maturity, they grow out of it. We could make the same argument for some men who have not evolved, dating the models, strippers, superficial cheerleaders, and so on. Be patient, every place has its time, and everything happens for a reason!
Are you pursuing nice girls or superficial girls? This can also play a role in your selection of women. If you're pursuing superficial girls, maybe you have not evolved as well as the women you're pursuing!
Some girls have the complex where they want to fix the bad boy. Often times the bad boy/jerk is nice to her and not to other people because he likes her and wants to try and show he isn't worthless. Some people like the forwardness or confidence.
Myself? I've always gone with the nice guy, and am now engaged to one. Sometimes they were a different flavor of nice (because nice isn't always safe: i.e. soldiers, civil disobediants, etc). However - they were always decent people who treated others with respect.
Do girls get over this complex? I mean to me, it seems like a lot of girls end up trying to be a mother to her bf... Trying to fix someone. You CAN'T be your bf's mother. Just like I couldn't be a father to my gf...
You must find someone you is an equal and just enjoy each other for who you both are. A lot of times, you see one person, who is much better than the other in a relationship and it just baffles me...
Most girls get over this when they finally want to settle down like they say and are tired of being treated like crap. The bad guy isn't as exciting when he's thirty, has no job, and you are paying his bail.
There is something about women and the maternal instinct triggered by someone who needs fixing, an the bonding it creates. However, if the guy can't walk on his own then there is a problem.
A lot of relationships seem like there is one better person, but I don't think that is the case.
I think people have their ups and down's and when people care about one another, they fix each other up and lean on each other. One person might seem the better in a moment, but might not be a better in actuality if both do their party.
One person might be more compassionate, but the other person can balance it out with dependability for example. If one person is blatantly better and not blind, that better person will normally try and find an equal. No one likes settling if they realize it.
Why would you want a girl who is SOOO egostistical that she has to be the "saving grace" of every guy she dates?? If I were a guy that would be a clear sign to me that she's probably go good for me anyway. It's just plain stupid to want to "save and change" you're man!
These women have a Savior complex because it's a big ego boost to think you're so cool and pretty and he fell SO DEEPLY in love with you that he had to turn his life around as a reformed sinner just for YOU....EW!!
I don't know... it seems 2 reduces the ego to 0 in an unhealthy manner. Ur in love with a person not 4 who he is, but what you want him 2 b, & he never will b that "ideal". It's an exercise in futility. They always fail 4 this reason & she feels bad/worthless bcuz she couldn't help him. If anything I'd put it down 2 motherly personality, unwitting fear of commitment leading 2 "purposfully" bad relationships, unintentional masochism or attention grabbing behavior via actively seeking life drama.
See? Some people don't use "nice" to mean "weak." I knew a really nice guy once who was a Marine. I'm sure he knew lots of ways to kill me, but he was always respectful and polite. A friend of mine married him after she left her boring, predictable "bad boy" boyfriend in her early 20s. She's really, really hot, too. Seriously.
I do not know, but personally, I prefer to date the "good boy." Plus, bad boys, usually just talk about how they are such bad asses, but they are little wimps or just want attention. The good boys are usually the tough ones. I never figured out myself why girls do that. My one friend did it to get in trouble and to not be considered "a good girl." Which is not logical and retarded because you do not need a boy to get into trouble. It was a complete lame reason. Many girls want to experience the movie perspective of dating a bad boy. Do not worry about it because the right girl will come around and be lucky to have you, her friends will get jealous, when they are broken hearted from the "bad boy" boyfriends that just dumped them for another girl. Your girl will feel so unbelievably lucky.
you are just as confused as I am. but I am a good girl with the bad guy and a bad girl with the good guy and I don't get why. I have broken up with guys that when I come to reality are evrything I want, but end it for some complete losers azz hole...sometimes I think we females are just out to hurt our ownselves.. but sometimes the bad boys just do the sweetest things and its super extra sweet because you don't expect it...and when a good guy doesn it its like ya so typical so like you! and we females like men that stand out by doing the not so typical... its hard to emplain...
I'll tell you a secret, and I hope you listen well. Girls are attracted to guys that pursue them. That really go after them and give them attention. They love the attention, no matter if he's a bad guy or not. And the fact is, half the time they don't even know if he is or not. But they do know is that they are getting his attention and they are being pursued. That pretty much takes the cake.
Bad guys are more attractive because they are more confident, more daring, better risk takers, and more likely to be themselves.
If you want to avoid getting the shaft, start learning to build your confidence and stop worrying about why girls go for bad guys.
Actually if you want her to like you, all you have to do is treat her like a cat. My point is the more you ignore a cat, the more it wants your attention, same goes for women, the more attention you give them, they're not interested but once you start ignoring them, they will beg you for attention.
Littletad is right about the confidence thing, but wrong about the "chasing her" thing.
Chasing her and giving her attention only works when she already finds you attractive. It doesn't work if you're the creepy stalker who can't take a hint.
Being confident, being playful, and being slightly mysterious about your intentions will get you much farther than being the guy who's desperately chasing girls hoping to be noticed.
ligten up dude. maybe that's thats the reason that nobody likes you, because you're always hating on some one. my friend is in a relationship with this guy who is nice in his own way, and she is kinda wild. this guy knew this before dating her and now he trys to control her by not letting her do the things she used to do. which not only p*sses her of but p*sses all her friends of as well. that's the prob with a nice guy, he would want you to change because he is into doing other things that don't constitute as our kind of fun. and besides bad boys are like a challenge, girls want to be the one that can get him to be wrapped around their little finger. so relax yourself, coz' with that attitude you're gonna be single for a long time.
Then why is she with him...if he's trying to control a lot of what she does...why is she with him...im a nice guy...but I would never tell a girl what she could and couldn't too...i also used to be a bad guy...i didn't get any girls when I was the bad guy...now I'm getting girls left and right
I can say the same for women... always trying to mold the bad guy into the perfect man by being controlling and everything trying to change who he is as a person... If my girl was a little wild, I'd be cool with that as well. I'm not about making someone inot a person they're not. maybe I have a wild side hypothetically, but how would a girl know if she can't find it in her heart to give me a chance?
This is what I mean about misusing the word "nice." Any guy who tries to control his girlfriend and prevent her from doing things she likes is not someone I would call "nice."
Poor dakota102, I guess we should go easy on you because you're so young. You'll understand someday :)
Wow... I just never thought anyone would be proud to admit they like "wrapping people around their little finger". ....Again, I saw "Ew"...
Theres only two reasons women date losers either:A) They think they can fix him or B)The bad guys act like good guys in front of said girl. What nice guys don't know is that bad boys pretend to be nice guys in front of us girls. Guys who are obiviously bad girls think they can fix, and that's where they end up getting their hearts broken. Nice guys can get girls too but they need to work on their timing. If you do to much for a girl for too long she's going to put you in the friend zone. You have to ask her out before you guys become best buds. Best of luck and hope this helps!
"You have to ask her out before you guys become best buds."
This is very true; I co-sign the above statement.
Thanks!
Girls like bad boys for the same reason guys like the hot babe with big boobs who may also not be suitable for him. It is thrilling and exciting, but in the end most of us marry a different kind of person. For those of us who marry the bad boy, we usually end up living with his bad habits that were a thrill when we were single, but get old and less thrilling with age. However the challeng of taming him, stays with us as long as we stay with him. The thrill is the same as the babe on your arm, who may not be the best choice for you, but you cannot give up the fantasy.
girls just want a bad boy who is a nice guy, a tiger but is a nice kitty when he's with you, etc. the main point is that bad boys always look like they're no pushovers & are the dominant types and most women like that about men. nice guys from my experience appear to be 'soft', and though they are certainly not weak, they look like it. I mean, just look at wildlife, the female usually gravitates towards the more aggressive male.
anyway it usually takes time for people like you to be well appreciated by the female population. don't worry about it.
YES!
We're not necessarily attracted to "bad boys" exactly, but guys who look like bad boys. Tall, dark. handsome, mysterious, whatever. It's pretty appealing. But you're right. I'm a fan of good guys all the way. Bad boys and their bad attitudes-no matter how cute they may be-are overrated. I think the thing that makes them appealing though is confidence. There's a fine line between confident and cocky though. If you can be a gentleman or a "good guy" and still be confident in yourself, I think girls would really get into that.
*Also, a lot of girls like to turn guys into projects or "fix" them. Another reason we might fall for bad boys; cause we wanna be the one they change for. It's idiotic but it happens all the time.
Ever heard of captain save hoe. Well most girls think they can tame the wild beast. Most women want to change a bad boy. Women who are in abusive relationship are just stuck. They are scared to be with someone else they think that no one else would love them. Now most women like this the relationship didn't start abusive. Druggys well women think that they will give up the drugs if they love us or women just get into the drugs with them. Don't worry some one will like you and you'll have a great relationship. JUst like there are bad guys there are bad girls "damaged" girls.
well the truth is, bad boys are sexy theyre good for sexual release. especially younger girls, we like them older and bad because we know they have expirience, we know they know what theyre doing and that because theyve had so many girls they are probably very good at what they do. so that's why we pick them, essentially we are thinking with our "dicks" just like guys who pick the hot, dumb girl over the cute smart one. theyre horney. sorry man but that's what girls are looking for, anyway the good ones who end up with the bad boys. not all girls are like that thought, chances are you jsut keep falling for the ones that are no good for you anyway, "secret bad girls". but hey there are nice ones out there who want a nice boy too, so just keep looking and don't give up hope! :D
You know a guy is good in bed because he's hitting on high school girls instead of women his own age.
I'm guessing you're not on the Dean's List, sweetheart. Don't worry, you can probably still get work as a stripper. I have some friends who can hook you up.
They don't actually want a bad boy. They want a combo... a guy that can give them playful attention by teasing them, but still knows how to be respectful about it. Simple as that. They want a balance. The problem is that not many guys know this, and they try to be one or the other, when they should try to have a sweet & sour combo. : )
...I totally agree with you : )...you said all that I was gonna say...
I've been reading all the responses from the top of the page, and imo this is the "best answer".
Thanks, guys!
Totally agree! =d
For me, I don't know if I am necessarily attracted to the "bad guys", they are just the only ones I can ever seem to find. But just recently I met a guy who is cute, funny, doesn't do drugs, and is a complete good guy. I get along with him so well and I like him a lot. A lot of girls just don't give the good guys a chance, but they don't know what they are missing. It's hard to find a good guy these days so I'm not letting this one go lol. Just don't give up yet, the right girl will come around. Just be yourself and don't let yourself turn into an asshole just because that's what girls seem to be attracted to.
But if you know the guy is bad news, like why would a girl even settle for that, if that's all she could find? Why not save yourself from some hurt and wait for a guy worth your time?
I'm not aiming this at you, but just like an "in general" thing ya know?
No one likes being alone, so maybe it's just the comfort of someone being there even if they know it won't last. I'm not really sure, and I can't speak for every girl out there, but its possible that maybe the girl doesn't really realize at first the guy is a "bad guy", and then finds out when it's too late. lol Idk, girls are confusing, I will admit that. But I honestly don't know why a girl would constantly want to be a a guy that in the end will break her heart. Everyone needs to deal with
Heartbreak, but girls putting them in that position over and over again totally blows my mind.
Ha I agree with rg727 A guy that has the bad boy look but not the BS is nice! ha there is this guy I'm seeing.. OK well he looks like a bad boy and he gets mad when I call him a player.. I seriously think he is a player but then getting to know him more.. He has never done drugs, never been charged with anything, he is a security supervisor training to be a police officer, he is buff and goes to the gym like 5+ times a week, he loves superheros and starwars lol and he is way sexy! like omg no freakin way this guy is this way! like he gots the whole Bad boy look but then the gentleman sweetness and qualities! I just love it! I can't find one thing wrong with him but I'm trying :) lol oh and he is packing down there! mhmm, and also his abs decent chest killin! Hell yeah.. He is way sexy! my god I lust him so much lol! :)
Women like to be challenged, dared, played with, seduced and picked up by confident guys. Nice guys generally don't know how to do this and come over boring. If your always nice a women doesn't really trust you... I mean what will this guys bad side look like?
You don't have to be a "bad" guy, you just need to learn some new skills, that you won't learn at school, to handle women and still respect them. Trust me, I've being there and didn't understand it either until I found out the skills I missed. Check out link Ross Jeffries offers a fantastic course that is worth every cent. It has totally transformed my approach to women. The earlier you learn these skills the better it will be for you.
im sorry you feel that way
the only real reason girls like bad boys is because we think its sexy. some girls like tattoos like me.i like bad boys but all the bad boys that I've met have been complete and total idiots. if you want advice don't act preppy or socialble. act a little mysterious and different. and the fact that you haven't had a girlfriend to me is so cute.if it helps watch 10 thing I hate about you learn from heath ledger. just don't start somking unless you already do. if there are any other question feel free to ask
I love the tattoos 2 on my guys!!!!