I can't stop thinking about her ex boyfriend?

The beginning of my Senior year this new girl moved to town and was in one of my classes. I immediately had a crush on her, but so did this other guy in the class. Long story short, a month later I saw on Facebook that they were in a relationship. And trust me, it was hell watching those two together for the rest of the school year. (He didn't break up with her until a year later)

Skip ahead to the present, and I'm a Sophomore in college now. The girl randomly messaged me a couple months ago when she saw me in town somewhere. Since then, we've been texting almost everyday, hanging out about once a week, I've taken her out to the movies, and things are looking pretty good.

However, I literally cannot stop thinking about her ex boyfriend (the guy from my class Senior year). Whenever I'm talking to her, I just keep thinking things like:
"Why did she end up choosing him over me?"
"Would she still be with him if he didn't dump her?"
"Did they ever have sex?"
"He met her and 2 months later they were dating. We've been talking 3 months and I still haven't even told her I like her."
"I wonder if she misses him when I'm with her"
"I shouldn't ask her to be girlfriend this month, that's the same month he started dating her"

Obviously, I have a lot of regrets and I keep comparing myself to him. He's the only guy she's ever dated, and I've never had an official girlfriend before. And of course, I don't mention any of this to her. Does anyone have any advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you lacking in the self esteem department. I believe that you believing she picked him over you to begin with caused these insecurities. I know it will be extremely difficult but don't compare yourself to anyone. Even if all your worries were proven right they are in the past and nothing can be done. These thoughts will hinder you going forward. You've been seeing her for months so just tell her how you feel. If you let these worries and what ifs paralyze you, you'll never know what could have been.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • Date other women, and whatever you do, don't ask them about their past or it will haunt you. I think a lot of people think of their partners past sometimes. You have to learn how to get over it and cope with it. Some people don't think about it because they love the person their with. Some people remain in the present and don't think about the past. Others, get over it with more experience in dating and relationships. You have to learn to cope with it or I would advise you to start dating other girls first and if your meant to be with this one, someday you'll begin dating her.

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