Never had a boyfriend. But no guy ever approaches me, why?

I am 20 years old, a few months away from being 21. I've been on a date with one guy, but it was a mutual silent agreement that we didn't really like each other and we stopped hanging out. But that's all I've ever done in my entire life. I haven't even had my first kiss. I will admit that I am shy when it comes to talking to the opposite sex, yet I am trying. I say hello and try to make conversation and even invite a guy that I am attracted to, to hang out. But no guys ever approach me. Never ask me out or want to get to know me. I constantly get told that I am intimidating, but if he really "wanted me," shouldn't that not stop him? I'm confused as to why all these girls, especially the ones who really really don't deserve it, get boyfriends and I can't even have one guy take an interest in me. I'm not ugly or a mean person. And maybe college isn't the best time to even be in a relationship, but I want to experience it. It's tiring being the friend who always helps other people with their relationship problems and it's tiring watching my friends be in relationships while I am utterly alone all the time.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are shy, you may unintentionally be using body language that tells men you don't like them. Shyness is often mistaken for disliking someone. Rejection hurts, and guys try to avoid it as often as possible by reading the woman's response to us.

    You may have been approached numerous times and not even realized it. Imagine I have a crush on you. I walk up and start a conversation with you. I wouldn't be asking you out right away, but rather just trying to get a feel for if you like me or not. If you start acting shy, and I mistake it for not liking me, I will leave before asking you out, and you might have no idea I just approached you. The truth is women get approached a lot more than they realize. It is just most of the time they don't realize they are being approached.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I was the exact same way. Shy, loner, virgin, no dates no kisses no girlfriend ever in my life until randomly at 23 years old I got all of those things from a girl I meton this site a few months ago :). As a guy its even tougher because the guy is expected to approach the girl which is hard to do when you're shy. My recommendation is to try to meet a shy guy in a similar situation online and talk to him. Trust me when I say that there is no shortage of his like that on this site. Try answering similar questions when you see them and even add them to your friends if they seem interesting.

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  • I have two questions for you.
    1. What do you look like? (We men have to like what we see enough to risk rejection)
    2. Do you put yourself in situations in which you can meet males?

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  • Well now you know how many guys feel, like me. Doesn't feel good does it?

    Without knowing how you look its difficult to give you an honest assessment on if it is your looks or not. But take the advice of the people who said you look intimidating.

    Smile when talking to a guy, look him in the eyes, blink... Ask a guy for help on something. It would make guy feel manly to be able to take care of something for a woman.

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  • just enjoy being single till your time comes LOL

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  • the samehere i ave no girlfriend or friends (females)
    so it feels sucks bout your post
    i think u have to take part in activities like swimming or running for long distances do any activity
    and u can ofcourse find guys with u and u will know tm and ho knows what will happen ;)
    u have aslo to ask guys to hangout it

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  • Hello:)) can u message me i wanna know u

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What Girls Said 3

  • Guys at that age do not approach girls with intentions of a relationship. Especially if you are talking about college guys. They approach girls who seem like they are more willing to spread thoes legs. Girls who seem more temporary sinse college is only temporary. If you want a serious relationship then try striking up conversations with more mature men that are also looking for relationships. Or you could also wait untill you are a little older which means the guys your age are a little older too

    I did not have my first serious long term relationship untill i was 24 and now i am engaged.
    When i was your age i thought somehting was wrong with me too and i was told that i was intimidating. I decided that i should at least try to make the first move and so I ended up dating some guys but becasue none of the guys actually wanted anything serious, then we only ended up being temporary people in each others lives.

    Dating is somehting that you have to learn and then master. At first its trial and error but once you figure out how things work you are able to go after the man that you really want.
    so just go talk to some guys even if they dont want relationshups. just do it so that you can gain some experience becasue think about it. If you want to get married then you are gonna have to know how to interact and communicate with your husband so go get some practice.

    You may embarras yourself along the way, you may have a guy lead you on, but again, you have to learn how to properly interact and communicate with men and you are not gonna do it right the first time you meet a guy. Some women learn how to date at a young age while there are women who still dont get it and they are in there late 30's never been married and still chasing jerks. So defintely start practicing now

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  • I was like you, guys weren't approaching me. What did I do? I made it happen, I was the one to make the moves and ones my dating like began, guys began to ask... maybe I got more confident after that.

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  • Simple men are pussys

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