Girl doesn't want to meet because she thinks she'll be to hungover?

[Axel101]

So I've had 2 dates with this cute girl and we had fun, we held hands, kissed, made out and she layed her head on my shoulder. Yesterday I asked her if she wanted to do something on Sunday (haven't said what, was first checking if she was available) and she said that she probably can't because she'll be to hungover? It's her first weekend off in three weeks so this Saturday she is going out drinking with her friends. I don't really know how to feel about this, I can understand that she wants to have fun and stuff but I found this a very odd reason to not want to meet up, unless you are really bad and like throwing up and stuff but anyways.. Has anyone else ever been rejected like this? Me not and I didn't really know how to respond. I like this girl and if she asked me out I'd drink less (or at least not that much that I'm fucked up the day after), I'm probably looking way to much in to this but I'm starting to doubt that she is really interested.

What do you girls/guys think?

[XRabbitHeartX]

She's only saying that cause she doesn't want to be sleepy, zoned out and tired around you the next day. That'\s what a hangover does. It makes you want to zzzz and your head feels thick and everything is just tiring. She's considerate enough to not want you to see her that way especially early on. You probably won't get much quality time around someone who is zoned out. I don't think this is a negative thing. She's just being honest and wants to spend time with you when she's feeling bright, awake and good. I also wouldn't want to spend time with a guy I'm interested in when I'm really tired or hungover. Just like I myself wouldn't like spending time with a guy who is still sleepy and recovering from a night out.

[Axel101]

Yeah I told her that I could understand why she didn't want to meet, she said that I probably didn't want to see her in sweatpants and stuff without make-up haha. So I told her that I liked her for her and not for her make up or her clothes, afterwards I should've said something like: "I bet you are beautiful without make up too" but I always think of better things to say afterwards haha.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Well what you said was enough. I don't think it would have changed the situation. tbh mentally she might not feel 100% seeing as she's hungover and that's probably what it's about.

[Axel101]

Yeah I know it probably wouldn't have changed anything, but at least she'd know that I like her and that it doesn't matter how she looks, that she is just great in every way. It's something I want to let her know but we had a few dates and I don't think it's the right time yet. I think she has a pretty low self esteem, she used to make out with guys a lot and she always tells me about how she thinks things about her are not pretty etc. So it could be that she only wants me to see her in the way she feels comfortable (and she is right, if she doesn't feel comfortable she shouldn't do it).

[sugar1988]

You see how you write (understanding) and (let you know) your going to slip into the friend zone babe, why should you wait to see what she wants to do, you have to be more confident not arrogant but confident

[Axel101]

Yes you are right, I think that might be the reason why my ex lost feelings for me too. But how can I turn the tables, let her know that she either wants or doesn't want to meet this sunday.. since I already said that she could let me know.

[sugar1988]

To be honest I would like you to be more demanding but that's the kinda ladie I am, if after that you just say ' come here and meet me I want you' she'd act like she didn't but she 100percent would want if she was a woman like me, I also think she's telling you she has a hangover because she wants to let you know she has a lot of fun and not to let her go, it's kinda a mixed message, she is saying she wants you more, or I could be completely wrong and she's not interested, try a demanding sexy text and don't reply at all to what her next text says and trust me she will text about 3 times one of them saying yeh ok when where, don't reply till she asks you when where ok!

[Axel101]

Ah I see, yeah the message could be double and I told her to let me know how she felt on Sunday and that we'll see if we do or don't go and do something. If she says that she is too hungover I could try what you said and see how she reacts, good advice :)

[sugar1988]

Yeh the problem is your being to nice and giving her to many options! You need to let her feel that your a fantastic guy by not putting up with her games but secretly your completely playing the game, so at the moment this is what is going through her head... he said let me know so I can go or not go I have complete control! You should take it off the table tell her sorry can't do Sunday now am going out with friends. Nothing else! Don't rearrange, let her text you back, I think you won't text her it because your worried she won't go for it but life is always a risk babe x

[Axel101]

Haha you're absolutely spot on, I sometimes feel like I'm being to nice to her in some ways, that she is in control. But I already said to her that she could let me know this sunday, how can I still bend this around in my favor? I'd like to have more control.

[sugar1988]

Unfortunately the only way to bend it around in your favor is now a risky one, so it's up to you if you take it, if I was you I would say text or say something very simple with no explanation and NO sorrys! I would text something as simple as ' can't do sunday' nothing more, no (xx) no sorry no explanation, wait for the reply! She might say ok if so then you have to not text until she texts you again which she should do, or if she is interested she'll say ' :( why' and I still advise you not to reply, wait until Monday. Let me tell you I have maybe 5-6 guys on a messenger, and I know I can have anyone of them anytime I want to meet them but my boyfriend got me by playing hard to get, he was the one that didn't say sorry and what can I do for you! Don't get me wrong though, once you are boyfriend and girlfriend you should do nice things for eachother but until she's bitten, it's a no hope (make her think, he must be something special? What am I missing?)

[Axel101]

Yeah I'm way to easy for her, she knows she can have me and I know it's working against me. I'll just tell her that I can't do Sunday and that we can hang out another time. I'll wait for her to show that she really wants to meet, and if not I guess she is not worth my time.

[sugar1988]

No don't say another time!

[sugar1988]

But yes well done! If she's not really interested then she's not worth it babe! Don't worry I really think she is! Just stop being so easy and nice until you've got her to yourself x

[Axel101]

Okay okay, thanks for the tip :) I'll let you know how it turned out

[Anonymous]

I have said no before bc of being hungover. if anything it shows she cares about you and doesn't wanna mess it up. I would just leave it for a bit and suggest another time. She probs wants you to chase her a bit, to show you are 'manly' and that you really like her. She just wants to have fun with her friends and see you another time. I bet she wouldn't reply at all if she didn't like you. Good luck!

[Axel101]

Hm yeah maybe you're right.

[KwazyBruhhh]

I really don't see what the issue is here? Just stop badgering her and let her counter offer with an alternative date and time. If she does this then she's interested and if she doesn't then drop her.

[Axel101]

Yeah that's true :)

[LoveTouddles]

Yeah you are looking WAY too deep into this. She wants to have a fun night out with the girls. I know that when Im hanging over I look and feel like shit. The last thing I'd wanna do is wear something cute, put on my makeup, and go out on a date. She probably isn't ready for you to see her when she's looking like a hot mess lol

[Gemstone2411]

It's early on in the relationship, she doesn't want you to see her at her worst just yet.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years, I have NO excuse.
Me: Can't come and see you, too hung over.
Boyfriend: I've seen you in every state possible! Fine I'm coming over to yours!

[Lbr924]

When I say that I dont want to meet because I will be hungover I mean it 100%. A girl doesn't feel or look her best with a massive hangover. She wants to be alert and focused on a date with someone she likes. She can't do this with a hangover

[girlneedsadvice18]

Maybe she doesn't handle hangovers well, she might get big headaches, feel a bit sick all day or she's worried that she won't look very nice for you.

You could suggest you guys just watch a movie at her place or yours? Make/buy her some awesome greasey hangover food... If you still really want to see her

[Axel101]

I do want to see her but I'm having the feeling like I want it more then her, perhaps it's time to lean back a little and let her show that if she wants to meet that she needs to show me.

[girlneedsadvice18]

That could backfire, she might genuinely just not to want you to see when she isn't in top form..
You could try reorganize for another day and then if she still doesn't seem like she wants to plan anything just leave it be and wait til she makes an effort.

Either way I hope it works out for you :)

[Axel101]

Yes it could backfire, but she acts very arrogant a lot too wich annoys me. It feels like I have to do all the effort (wich I don't mind most of the time) but I show I like her and she doesn't really show it back.

[Anonymous]

Well, it is Halloween weekend, which is a major party holiday so if give her the benefit of the doubt.

After only two dates, most people don't start rearranging their life yet ;)

[Axel101]

Halloween in our country is no big deal, no one celebrates it haha

[Opinion Owner]

Saturday is a big drinking holiday on its own then :P