I've been in a string of booty call type relationships recently which have pretty much all ended up with me getting hurt. I met a great new guy who didn't seem like that's what he wanted. We've been talking a lot and texting a lot too. Then he sent me a really flirty text which made me question what his motives are. So I might have overreacted and replied by telling him that if all he's looking is sex he's looking at the wrong girl. I sent this very early today and haven't heard anything since.
Was this a made move? Is there any way to fix this? Or is it best that I was open? Guys, how would you respond if a girl said that to you? Would it be a deal breaker?
Most Helpful Guy
Nothing wrong with your motivation. Nothing wrong with being upfront. Though I do think your text came off as fairly aggressive. It would depend on what his text actually said, but it would have to have been pretty explicit to deserve such a harsh reply. If his tone was fun and flirty, then the rebuttal should have been in a more light-hearted tone. If his tone was direct and explicit, then sure, that's an appropriate response. The punishment should fit the crime, as it were.
A lot of guys are just looking for sex, sure. That is unfortunately true. And it would be incredibly frustrating for you, since you are looking for something else. But you can't tar this guy with the crimes of other guys. You have to judge him on his own behaviour. If he was just being playful, then a 'slow down there tiger' type of reply would be much more appropriate. He could totally be NOT just wanting you for sex, but still be a flirty guy, and that kind of aggressive response could be seen as a turn-off.
You are right to be apprehensive about a guys motives. You are right to expect a relationship before you become sexually involved with a guy. But there is nothing more frustrating to a guy than being found guilty of other guys' crimes just because you also have a penis. Being open and honest is good. Being upfront is good. But there isn't a need to take an accusational tone if this particular guy hasn't done anything to warrant it.
How would I respond? It would depend on what I said to make you say that. If I said "I can't wait until I see you next, I'm looking forward to ****ing your brains out all over the kitchen table" and you replied like that, I would be 'whoops, too much, too fast... sorry'. If I said "Looking forward to seeing your sexy smile tonight, it just melts my will away" and you replied like that I would think "wtf... that's a little... harsh..." and it would register as a bit of a 'here be baggage' flag.0