Can distance and space really work in your favor in a relationship?

When the reason the other person says they need these things is because our work schedules are impossible right now. He is emotionally and mentally drained getting home from work (is at work by 6am and home around 10 or 11pm and working some saturdays) and doesn't know if he can give me more right now because of that. He truly is miserable at work. But I told him I'm happy to be a support system right now if he'd let me…I understand that it's circumstances and not his choosing. So he's decided that he wants to work through what he feels would work best for him (so he doesn't feel guilty and to make sure he wants this emotionally) and that he can fulfill some of my needs as well. But to do this he wants distances and space. I've just never seen that work in the other person's favor. I feel like the person that needs the space always comes back and says "yeah this isn't working". Has it ever worked? What times do you have to get through the silence and not bug them while they are figuring it out?

  • Yes, depending on the circumstances
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  • Nope…distance and space always equal the end
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  • Be positive! It sounds like he really cares about you, he won't walk away
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  • Girl, I'd delete everything and move on
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  • Maybe, who knows…sounds like he's got a lot on his plate
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it can work if you both have similar expectations.

    I don't know what you expect, but his schedule sounds absolutely horrible, so he can't really expect anything from the relationship right now except to be with you. His only other option is to be single and not date anyone with that kind of work schedule. That doesn't sound better though, unless you are in some way adding to the stress, or if he thinks you're not happy with the situation.

    Right now, the only reason for you two to be in a relationship is if you're thinking about the future. It helps if you have some kind of concrete plan for a future that doesn't suck, but even if you don't, you need to at least have some positive goals.

    Give him the distance and space he is asking for, as he probably needs it for his own sanity.

    But also recognize that what you have with him right now is far far from ideal, and make a conscious decision about whether you want to be with him because of what the future may hold. And tell him that. Tell him what you're hoping for. Whenever you talk about the relationship, talk about the future, to keep both of you positive and not worrying about the present.

    If you guys both focus on a positive future, you can get through this. But if you can only see the present, you probably won't.

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  • help him best of your ability/ When he get off work get him food. Ask him if he need anything. Be supportive on his emotion and his need. You will be fine

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