My boyfriend never sees his friends much anymore. What gives?

I've met all my boyfriend's friends and we've been together six months but it seems he's starting to see them less and less even when he isn't with me. The only people he makes an active effort to see are me and his best friend but apart from that he never seems to initiate any plans unless someone else does and those invites seem to come less and less for him. A few Saturdays ago I had a girl's night thing for a friend so I couldn't meet up with him like usual. rather then see if any of his friends were free he just spent the night at home alone.

we're usually together most of the weekend and I've made it clear to him that if he wants to take a small chunk of time to check his messages and phone to see if people are trying to get in touch with him I won't get mad. He generally ignores his phone when he's with people he cares about (family, friends, me) but given the sizeable amount of time we're together I'm fine with him taking time to check his phone. Should I talk to him about this?

He knows I'm cool with him wanting to spend time with them be it with or without me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • His friends probably don't like him anymore. When you have friends and totally ditch them when you get into a relationship, your true self comes out and thats not good. His friends are probably over him, thats why he only has you and his best friend in his life, which is NOT good. Because that means his entire social life is dependent upon YOU. . . yea not good. He needs to realize that you can't be his whole life and he has to go out and do things for himself. Because if y'all break up who does he got? Tell that fool to get some social skills and make friends.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Friends go away as you get older.

    And why should you spend a bunch of time on them, when they can't be bothered with you?

    • Clearly you didn't read the full story.

    • Show All
    • I did. But, what's to talk about? She can talk to him, or not. But, IMHO (which is what we're here for), friends go away. Tapering them off is what has happened to me, and to people I know.

      If the guy is older, that's probably happening to him too.

      So, should she? Bleah, her choice.

    • Asker, that can be true too. But, if he's not that happy with them - why make much of an effort to see them? Just so he can say that he's got 'friends'? So he can waste his time/money?

  • maybe he got into a fight with some of his friends. Or maybe that group of friends aren't really that close, so he'd rather spend his time with you or his best friend. Personally I don't think it's a problem. Just because you know 15 people doesn't mean you should spend time with all of them. but it couldn't hurt to ask him what's going on or if there is a problem. He might just not feel like hanging out with groups of people.

  • A lot of men and women ditch their friends when they get into relationship and then have the audacity to come crawling back once their relationship ends to those 'friends' I no longer acknowledge them as friends.

    If I wasn't worthy of their friendship when they had a girlfriend/boyfriend then I was never a friend in the first place.


What Girls Said 3

  • Talk to him on this subject that he can be with his friends, that it's okay for him to take his own space and go out with them if he so desires. I believe that being together too much as two birds of a feather isn't healthy and can even go south sometimes.
    With you seeing your friends with that 'Girl's nite thing' is a good way of still keeping in contact with the outside world, rather sitting home with him on the sofa all the time like two couch potatoes, which he is doing when you are not there.
    If he hymns and haws and gives you this lame duck excuse that he isn't into this scene or whatever excuse he may use under the sun, don't make anything out of it, just let it go. However, if he begins to put a monkey wrench into any of your plans that you may want to make when you can't 'Meet up,' tell him right off the bat that this is a boundary that he is Not going to begin crossing and you are your own straw boss that has a life aside from a couple's cuddling together constantly.
    Good luck. xx

  • I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years, it started off with him hanging out with his college friends (majority of the class were girls which never really bothered me) and work friends (again majority were women). He would hang out with them during lunch times but he would only go out drinking with them if I was there.

    He has some boy friends, but he doesn't talk to them as much as he used to. it's because you're his priority, if you make it known to him that it's okay for him to hang out with his friends, you'll see the change :) good luck.

  • I really don't see the big deal , I've always a lot of friends and people like being around me. But I'm smart and very wise , You've to choose people wisely. I'm always turning people down , It has gotten to the point they think I'm acting funny. But I bet if I reached out to them , They will start trying to get me to hang with them again. It's not like I don't want too , But I've ran into problems with females. If you get to much attention from men women tend to get jealous , Yes even in your thirties Even if you get a lot of compliments from other women people tend to get jealous. And I've had enough of that , I don't like picking up on peoples negative energy. Trust me i can , I can also pick up on jealousy. I would rather hang with family , cousins, and a few chosen friends. It's easier that way , And I can still be my happy self. So who knows , Why he have ditched his friends. He's probably tired of them.