Whats it mean if a guy doesn't want to rush things and be just friends after we have hungout and had sex 4times in less than a week?

I met this man and the same day went on a date where we had sex multiple times before it. was over. We hung out 3 more times and had sex each of them times to. we have hung out 4times in less than a week. he now says he wants to not rush anything and be just friends without intimacy so he can get to know me and my personality better. is there hope for a relationship or is he just leading me on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It almost certainly means that you allowed yourself to get used for sex, and now that he's had it, he's telling you "don't expect a relationship just because we've been banging."

    If you want to go out and have casual sex, that's fine - go have fun and be safe (use protection, etc.).

    But if you want a RELATIONSHIP, then you have to go about things differently, from the very beginning. If you want a relationship, you cannot have sex with a potential relationship partner until AFTER a little while after you have made the relationship official. If you have sex with a guy before you are in a relationship, then he's never going to make the relationship official, because HE is already getting everything he wants. You need to get to know someone BEFORE you start having sex, and find out what kind of a person they are, etc.

    Of course you want to have sex - we all do, but you need to understand that most guys are perfectly happy having a "just sex, with no 'relationship' expectations or obligations" relationship, and if you give that to them, most aren't going to want to change. Girls usually want a real relationship, but asking for that AFTER you've given the guy sex is like "selling" something on Craigslist by posting your add with no listed price, having someone show up, and loading the item into their car, and as they start to drive away, you say "oh, and I'd like $50 for that." In most cases, your item will be far down the road already.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Too fast. You should have held him off for a few weeks to get to know him better. Now he wants to slow down.
    It may work out.

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  • leading you on. He wanted to fuck ya, you put out like he expected. He got what he wanted, now he is moving on.

    Next time, close your damned legs.

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    • It was my idea most times

    • Again, he got what he wanted, so now he's done. Doesn't matter whos idea it was. You put out, he got what he wanted.

  • you are another notch on the old gun, don't let him have it for a couple of dates, if he likes you he will come back.

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  • Sounds playerish.

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    • O well let's hope not

  • There's a real chance that while he got to have a lot of fun right away, he doesn't want everything to be sex based and actually wants to slow down and get to know you.

    Just wait and see and if things progress like normal, it's all good. If he is completely avoidant now, then you can worry about being led on.

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    • Thank u, and I hope so

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't know this guy, but if he didn't want to rush things, he wouldn't of had sex with you the day he met you. And having sex with you the day you met isn't a bad thing either. You should talk with him about it, and ask him why he feels you shouldn't rush things, it would put your mind to ease, and who knows? Maybe he wants to slow down out of respect. Talk to him. Sit down, get comfortable, because this conversation isn't a text or phone call type of conversation. Talk face to face. Emit your feelings. In my opinion, it's the best thing to do, but you could always do it your own way if you'd like.

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    • Thank you very insightful and helpful:)

  • Sounds like there's hope as long as he sticks to his words. :)

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    • There's hope in every situation. It's just a matter of knowing and figuring out if it was meant to be :)

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