I am clueless, can she really be this scared?

I have been talking with a wonderful woman for almost a year now. We started as friends, but both want more. The only problem is, she is too scared to even give me her phone number. She had an ex who physically and sexually abused her and she says this is the reason. That was 7 years ago. She tells me she loves me but just can't do anything but chat, because she is scared. She says I am all she has been looking for and wants to be with me, but she gets so scared when she thinks about it. Is this something that I should question, or is this something that can still linger, this much, after all this time?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well i was in a similar situation (having been both physically and sexually assaulted and considering dating a guy) so i can tell you from experience that yes, that shit does linger. It stays with you forever, no matter how much time passes or how much you think "your over it".
    I know for me personally i had a LOT of trust issues so it took a while for me to trust someone enough to give out overly personal info etc etc...

    Its just a matter of gaining that persons trust and showing them from there that your worthy of said trust.
    If this person really matters to you then id say to stick it out and hope that you gain their trust...

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What Girls Said 4

  • If this is on a dating site or something she probably isn't who she say she is. This is just my opinion. She might be scared but if she truly loves and trusts you it shouldn't be a problem for her just to give you her number. This is why im suspecting she's not who she says she is.

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  • You need to start helping her get through her fear. Take her on dates (some of which should be at your house). You don't need to call this dating say to her if your afraid of a new relationship then this is just a really good friend date. This may not make sense at first and she might not make sense of it either but trust me it could help. Soon she will get comfortable with being with you and this will help to get to know eachother more. Don't rush this do it at the most once a week. If she still isn't comfortable with the idea of a relationship then she could either be scared to admit she doesn't like you that much. She could also need some therapy to get over the fear, or if she still has fear it is best to move on from the idea of being her boyfriend.

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  • Is this online?

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  • She needs therapy to heal from suck trama. If she never got help it will haunt and consume her. She will never have a real relationship.

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What Guys Said 0

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