I think I'm an attractive girl (I even asked here lol), I'm cool, friendly, intelligent, independent, and I adapt easily to situations. I think I'm a good girl. The problem is that when a guy really likes me, just stares at me or have superficial conversations, nothing major.
Apparently I'm not girlfriend material. I've had boyfriends but we were together 3 months, at the beginning of the relationship they were so charming and soon begin to walk away. Same with the guys I've dated, the first month is great and suddenly begin to cancel dates.
Obviously I'm not perfect, but I try to make them feel good, even with the players or the guys who are supposed to be one night stands and become fuck buddies, (obviously these people don't know the people in my social circle), but the truth is that I'm tired of playing and want something deeper. I do not know what to do.
For example a good looking guy stares me (at the gym or in a new class) & I realize it, he still have his sight on me & I instantly change my expression, like instead of surprise a mix of fear, shame & disgust, I don't know why I do that but I can't avoid it. I think I look good, but I just don't feel sure of myself.
Most Helpful Guy
1. All attractive girls will find that roughly 90% of guys that show interest in them only want sex. That's normal, because that's just how guys are ("hot girl - want to bang"). That means you need to EXPECT to have to filter out 90% of the guys to get to the 10% who might really want a relationship with you. So do not take it as a personal failure that 90% of the guys just wanted sex and so you had to dump them - that's how it is SUPPOSED to be.
2. Let any guy who gets past your 1st-level filter (i. e., guys you would consider going out on a date with) that you don't have sex outside of a committed relationship. While this is a negative for "just sex"-type guys, it's a POSITIVE for guys looking for a relationship. This is your most important filter for separating guys.
3. There may in fact be something about your personality/behavior that is turning guys off. I don't know anything about you, so I have no idea what that might be, but if you ask your best girlfriends to be honest with you, they'll probably have something to say on the subject. Listen to what they say with an open mind (and don't get mad or upset), and see if, just maybe, they could be right. If so, you might need to alter your thinking or attitude.
4. You will generally attract people of the same "worth" as you are "worth". If you want a more desirable guy, you have to be a more desirable girl, and remember: it's not what YOU think that matters, but rather what a GUY finds desirable, just the same way that when you look at a guy, it doesn't matter what he thinks of himself; it matters what YOU think of him. If you are fun, outgoing, educated, self-sufficient, etc., you'll be much more attractive than if you are depressed, shy, ignorant, dependant on others, etc. Become the BEST version of yourself, and you'll get better guys interested in you.1