How to cope with the feeling u r not good enough? How to make yourself at ease with the guy? And how to meet him if there is no obvious possibility?

Ok, guys. I have a question related to one of my previous ones. A month ago i asked about how can i approach a guy who doesn't know I exist. He is an actor and he works in the theatre where I go very often. That's where I've seen him for the first time. Theatre turned out to be the only place where I can possibly meet him, and it was closing on the reconstruction and is closed now. You can find all details here

So over the last month I didn't make it happen. I found a new job and i have not the best hours one can think of, so I didn't have the opportunity to stay in the theatre waiting for him to appear. But I have incomplete gestalt and want to talk to him badly. And the longer I wait the harder I want it to happen but cannot think of any possibility to arrange it. I'm afraid of turning into psycho, as the longer I wait the stronger i feel i'm falling for a guy I've never talked to and it is terribly wrong and never happened to me.

The other thing is that the situation is highly destructive for my self-esteem. I'm very brave when it comes to work and friendship but I'm absolutely not good at presenting myself as a girl to a guy i like, i'm very awkward and have a feeling that even if i face him I'll fuck up. I have this stupid feeling I'm not good enough. Possibly it comes from previous romantic experiences I had, all of which finished with guys choosing other girls over me. So i'm telling myself: "Hey girl, where are you going? This guy is surrounded with attractive young actresses and you don’t even have a chance. May be you are not even meant to date anybody, so why should you force things to happen? Just live as you are living now, etc”

How can I cope with this feeling that I’m not good enough? How to make yourself at ease with the guy you like but he never met you? And how even to meet him if there is no obvious possibility?


Most Helpful Girl

  • U think you are not good enough because u think u are not good enough. You sort of create what u think on in your head. If u believe it will be awkward it will. Start with some positive self talk. It is your perception u are not good enough. It is not truth. U have control over this faulty perception. Also consider the possibility u have built this guy up in your head to be the perfect guy when in reality there may. Be no chemistry between u and that's ok. He is just human treat him as such and knock him off his pedestal in your mind. Next time u see him be bold start a light chat, be light and smile and laugh. If it doesn't work don't worry there will be other guys to date in the future


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What Guys Said 1

  • Is your life dictated by your feelings? If yes then you have a much larger problem to deal with. If no then simply ignore the feeling until it goes away. It's just a feeling after all.


What Girls Said 1

  • Well find out when one of his performances are and go watch. If you happen to catch him after then talk to him if it is bugging you that much. my opinion and this may not be what u want to hear i think you fanticising about the guy you think he is a falling for that. For all u know he could be a total jerk. The way i look at things is if it is ment to happen it will happen when the time is right. You can't rush these things. If your to shy to talk to him then maybe it is your intuition telling you that this is a bad idea and your gonna get hurt. Just my thought on this. I could be wrong but it's just something to think about.