Guys dating woman with kids?

Would you date a girl with kids why or why not

  • Yes
    68% (66)42% (49)54% (115)Vote
  • No
    32% (31)58% (67)46% (98)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was going to steer so clear of this, but WOW are you guys mistaken!

    Really? What about someone who was in a committed marriage and for whatever reason it didn't work out? Who now shares a drama free 50/50 custody with the cooperative ex? Who is fiscally responsible for herself and doesn't NEED anyone else's money to help her out? In fact, some women don't even accept child support. Not only do some women refuse to boost responsibility on to a new guy, some women don't even let the new guy meet the child until a lot of time has passed. Just saying, not all women screwed around until they got knocked up around, or need a man to assume responsibility for the child. Any mature woman would give her new husband "control" of the household, and any man that allows a kid to "regulate him" is not exactly a strong guy to start with. Mature women can balance child and man-interest perfectly.

    This is entirely based on the woman herself, not the situation of having a child. Won't change anyone's mind, but I had to speak out.

    And now, back to your regularly scheduled mom-bashing.

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    • Great post!

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    • Your so on point. But it is a oppinion is always based on past experience

    • Well said!

What Guys Said 60

  • I've tried multiple times. The girls I've tried with were all trainwrecks.

    2 girls I talked to from online dating had ex boyfriend issues. 1 was ranting about wanting to take her ex to court. The other one was telling me (while drunk on the phone) how she was clearing her system of weed so when he talks to the court they'll screen him and she'll get full custody.

    1 girl who had 2 kids I went on 2 dates with. Things seemed normal but she did rant every so often about an ex of hers and disappeared.

    1 coworker of mine I tried to date stood me up twice. She had a kid with a guy who disappeared and would sleep around with guys online. She then started screwing a guy from match. com and came whining to me about how he had sex with her and she never heard back. She'd book dates with me then I wouldn't hear from her. She had a kid with yet another guy afterwards.

    As I get older I know it's gonna be harder to find girls without kids but it seems like so many girls even in their lower 20's are becoming single moms and it's really bad. At the rate we're going we're gonna have a buncha single mom's on government assistance and all their exes are gonna end up in jail for not being able to pay child support. I get there are situations where a father has died and all but I never seem to come across single moms with legitimate situations these days.

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  • A resounding FUCK NO.

    You made your bed, now sleep in it. You screwed up in the following way (s):

    1) You picked the wrong guy if you're now looking for someone else.
    2) You didn't take your sex life seriously, now you're suffering the consequences.
    3) Responsibility of the kid is now on the new guy.
    4) You're now connected with the baby-daddy for the next 18 years, congratulations, now explain that to the new guy.

    And that doesn't even cover the problems that are going to arise if some poor sap actually decides to go the distance with you. Who's head of the household? Him, or the kid? Will he regulate the kid, or will the kid regulate him? Whose side are you going to take (we all know this one, obviously)? Etc.

    A LOT of problems with baby-mommas. I'd rather get a mail-order-bride than hook up with a pre-made family.

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  • At my age (19) i'm not doing that. I'm not fixing that mess left by some other guy...

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    • It's a child not a "mess"

    • @GoldenSunshine if a woman is "on the marked" with a child at the age of 19 it's a mess.
      1. where is the father? Is he arround? if not, can i expect him to return at some point?
      2. Am i even ready to take that responsibility?
      3. What about old feelings after said father?
      4. Since she's single there's a LARGE chance it wasn't planned. How has this affected her? How wil this affect a relationship?
      5. Neither of us are done with our education. How will we be able to finish it, and provide for the kid at the same time?

      The kid may not be a mess, but everything arround it sure as hell is.

    • lol... Well said, kid.

  • I am young (actually teen) so i will not because love may happen anyhow
    and my family will not accept her with kids

    but if i would older than 25 then i would and can force family to accept her in case fall for her
    but sincerely the fact 65 to 75 guys will not

    they want that they have their own children of whom both will take care

    but still honestly there are remaining guys who are ready because they do not care about kids
    they care about woman more... i mean that they do not mind about kids and accept
    and love the kids take care of them love them as they are of his

    also love woman without ignoring kids
    still good guys are there... actually 80% guys are good according to me in this world
    but some will not date because of reason like me or any other reason
    like they do not want to get you hurt in future... somehow (cause there is reason that after getting together his family will do something wrong with you or your children that is why some will avoid this though they like you)

    but i think the guys who does not have family
    can date such woman easily
    because he does not have to think about stuff which will occur later...

    it also depends on woman's image and personality in the society
    and very few will be there who will accept the bad imaged woman just by seeing her pure heart at present
    i am not insulting such woman but just saying the truth honestly

    also depends on kid's age and kid's behavior
    means if kids are less than 7 then it will be easier
    but if not then some will like cause then they will not have to take a great care of kids as kids are grow up and if he will take care as normal then that will be sufficient

    and behavior means if kids are annoying then "most of these guys" who will date woman like this will avoid to date because it becomes harder to handle such kids and then
    it will create problem later on im personal life of both - privacy problem

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  • Yes I would because I don't discriminate and I am very open minded.

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  • If you're younger than me by 2 years and you have KIDS then probably not.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again, dating someone with kids is technically a girlfriend AND adoption.

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    • How old are you?

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    • @red_dragon well Hungary is a shithole, if you don't become a programmer you probably starve to death, even then a programmer earns as much as the minimal wage in the UK, lol. At least dentristry costs are low in comparison, even if still expensive for a Hungarian.

    • Ahhh I see.

  • AT my age and considering I have kids, the odds of dating someone without kids is pretty small.

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  • If I were younger (early 20's), I might go out with a single mom just for the sake of sex. But I would not consider a long term relationship.

    There's something wrong with a guy if he feels the need to take care of someone else's bastard child. It's a whole lot of effort to put into a child that bears no genetic relationship to yourself.

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    • Bastards are technically children born out of wedlock. How about divorce or death?

    • Still no. Children from another relationship are most likely to reject you as a surrogate parent unless they are infants. Kids around 6-20 years old will tend to have a very antagonistic relationship with a step-parent. It's usually when the kid is older than 20 that they come to the realization that their single mother needs companionship and are willing to accept their mother's boyfriend because he makes her happy. A child does not think about such things.

  • Yes I would. As long as I felt like she was a good Mom and the kid/kids were respectful. Also if it wasn't any drama with the kids' father because I don't like drama. So yea I would. Oh and only if she has 1 or 2 kids because I want a kid or 2 of my own.

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  • its harder for a girl to date a guy with kids than it is for a guy to date a girl with kids. Because then some mommy war will begin -_- and that is really dangerous.

    but yea i would. As long as the kid is like under 10 or something

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  • Absolutely positively not.

    On top of the reasons some of the other guys have posted, about drama and general irresponsibility and poor judgment, I don't have the time, and more selfishly, I really don't like kids. Kids are a MASSIVE time and resource commitment, and one I did not sign up for. And they are the single worst environmental decision the average person can make. I intend to remain childfree.

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  • I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't recommend my friends to do so. However, everyone is entitled to their beliefs and choices.

    I'm very young, so I simply speak on what the best option for me is.
    It's economically more challenging. Free time will be much more scarce. The child is not yours to begin with, so the paternal bond is not there as it would be if the child was yours. Children are full of energy and parents are to keep up, which means being drained constantly day after day. Where does that leave alone time/sex/going out? It will be much more difficult.

    Interruptions during sex. Have you thought about that?

    I have a limited understanding of this subject as I've never been in such a situation. I can only imagine how challenging something like walking into a relationship with a woman that already has children can be.

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  • At my currentl status, I would not date a girl that has a kid. Too much work and risk.

    Once I was out of college I'd be fine with it.

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  • Yes but they'd have to be some damn great kids

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  • No.

    They're more work, more expensive, more stressed, more baggage, more potential for legal complications, very high chance for being locked into child support if the relationship goes south, and most of all, I don't want kids.

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  • it would give me a moment of pause but it wouldn't stop me from dating a girl. i am good with kids and i like them so being around them isn't an issue so wouldn't stop me. it would give me pause because that woman has a serious responsibility that will take away from the time i can spend with her so i need to see if we are compatible enough to make it work besides that issue

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  • I doubt I could see past it, would feel like there was a cuckoo in the nest.

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  • Is it bad that I have and i'm 17?

    I was seeing someone who was 24 and had a 15 month child from the previous relationship... Things were going really well, until family trouble meant that she had to go back to Vietnam :'(

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  • I think most guys think of starting their own family. Besides, step children never accept you and will sooner or later throw it in your face that your not their real father, that is a hurt all men try to avoid, you just don't come back from something like that.

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    • Not all kids

    • O. o Not really I've always liked my step mom even though I don't live with he and my dad. It's my dad and my stepmom's daughter who get on my nerves. Not everyone will hate their step parents.

  • I want a family really bad! If the girl im dating has kids I will do my best to treat those kids as my own, but I would try to convince her to have more lol

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    • That's really sweet. The world needs more men like you:)

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    • haha thank you hello_kitty, and nicko your right sometimes people guys in particular don't do the right thing, but thats when your supposed to come in and show her that the world is not full of idiots.

    • That's awesome.

  • I have a lot of respect for guys that do.

    But it's really just not for me.

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  • NO i'm afraid of kids LOL

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  • the mother might be looking for someone to help take care of the kids or she needs a man in her life so its alright to date women with kids.

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  • HELL YEA wanna know why? simple keep the keep happy and attached to you and use the mother for what ya need lol

    happykid=happy mother=im sure a happy me

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  • Her kids ARE her. I voted "yes" because her children are part of the woman you're considering dating. How can you know her if you automatically exclude parts of what she is before you've met her?

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  • Yes.

    Because there's a good chance we would be on the same mindset of being parents, taking care of our little ones and scheduling around them.

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  • I don't want (or like) kids. Also I've seen this kind of thing go wrong far too often, and I notice it's usually the guy who walks away with nothing. I think children complicate things.

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  • I could try, but that's it.

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  • Well im young, but I love kids. Well, at least young ones. No teenagers. That sounds like too much work.

    Though I have a feeling there might be some hardship dating a woman with kids.

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  • No way. I don't want to have to plan every single thing we do around her stupid kids.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 10

  • As a girl, I would not date a guy with kids. I wouldn't want to deal with the baby mama drama and quite honestly I don't want the responsibility.

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  • Dating someone who has kids is so hard because you aren't just dating them. You are dating them, their kids, and if they are Co parenting.. their baby's mom. You have a lot of people to learn to please. And stepping over boundaries is a hard thing to try n not do.

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  • It would depend on how much control/ drama there is. I would give it a try, but IG the drama outweighs anything, I'm out

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  • It takes a grown ass Man to take on that responsibility not a little ass boy. . . I'm sure its alotta people on here sayin no and their mom was probably a single parent. But its not for everybody

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    • it takes a grown as lady to not spread her legs and expect some sucker to financially support her for her mistakes

    • That's where u fucked up its THEIR MISTAKE it takes 2 she didn't climb on top of herself and get pregnant 😠

  • If I was a guy I wouldn't care. Yet, fact lf the matter is deep down inside it still bothers them.

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    • But your not what about dating a single guy with kids that live with him.

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    • Wait, so it's okay for you to not want to date a guy with kids, but it's not okay for a guy to not want to date a woman with kids?

    • If you like the person people would normally say "I dont mind" because they feel theta their love overweight everything but deep down inside they DO mind. Reality!

  • Someone has got to do it. Those ladies need love too.

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  • Its a NO NO 4 both men and women

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  • I chose "No" but of course it depends on age/level of maturity/etc. :-)

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  • it depends on how many kids she got

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  • I got pregnant at 20 (yeah it was stupid), then had several years of being treated like a fuck puppet and after a long time trying every possible approach to a guy, I got lucky and am now settled with a great man who I will marry in a couple months. But I repeat: I GOT LUCKY! I befriended a lot of single moms via the internet and got in touch with them in real life. They are either not attractive and get ignored immediately, or still attractive and get treated like dumb sluts who are just there to lie to, fuck and dump. I admit that some women are dumb, got pregnant with the wrong guy and so on, but there are also widows, women who have been cheated on or have been abused and they all get the same treatment. A lot of men try to justify this but they are just assholes who like to pick on the weak. So from my experience, I think that a lot men would date a mother to get in her pants, but only a few take them seriously (mostly single fathers).

    ps: I don't want to generalize so not all men are like this, but i found out the hard way, a lot of them are.

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