My life is really complicated right now and I think my boyfriend might leave me because of it. Can someone give me some advice please?

I am a 17 year old senior in high school. I am currently homeless and by homeless i dont mean that i sleep on the street but however i sleep on the couches of either my grandmother or my mothers house and I dont really have a place to call home. My mothers house is full with 5 younger kids and her husband hates me so im not really wanted over there but sometimes they let me sleep on the couch. At my grandmas house which is only a small 2 bedroom as my little brother and my older brother his kid and his wife so its really full and my little brother sleeps on the couch since he lets my brother and his family take his room which actually used to be my old room. Well this has been going on for 9 months and i am miserable and 7 months ago i met my amazing boyfriend who has always been so supportive and caring about my situation but here lately it seems he is getting annoyed with it and dosnt want much to do with me. We live 32 miles apart and go to 2 different high schools, him and his mother had told me many of times that i could go live with them but its my senior year and i want to graduate with my friends and my parents would never allow me to live there. I try to pretend everything is fine but its not i cry myself to sleep almost every night because my back hurts so much from sleeping on the couches or chairs and i have no privacy what so ever. I used to have my car which i loved but had to give it back because i couldnt afford the payments anymore. That car was my only source of independence and it was gone. I understand why my boyfriend is so annoyed about it he didn't agree to any of this i dont think he knew what he was getting himself into when he asked me to be his girlfriend and i feel terrible about that. He is just one of the only things that is keeping me going right now and i dont want to lose him. Can someone please give some advice please i need help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, firstly you'll want somewhere to stay - A car would be good, but you mentioned you couldn't afford payments, so if you have a job or source of income, it may be an idea to look for a used car which you can buy outright, therefore negating the need for payments aside from insurance and gas, and can also be used to sleep in (albeit uncomfortably, though if the car was large enough you may be able to get an air mattress in to sleep on). (Assuming that "payments" was for car finance, which isn't really a good idea IMO)

    Point 2 would be to come clean with your boyfriend. Seriously, telling him everything is fine when he can tell something is up is only hurting him. Another point would be to question why your older brother and wife are unable to afford a place on their own -- I mean, if they're just freeloading then it's causing a lasting effect on you because they're being selfish and want more money.

    Point 3, is that, if you can't take it any more, it's seriously a good idea to move in with your boyfriend. There's no point in prolonging it if there is no alternate solution available, you may want to be with your friends but it's clear that you may just be doing more damage by refusing the idea than you would suffer by accepting the idea.

    Anyway, feel free to get back to me.

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    • Well thankyou very much for the advice i really do appreciate it. I would love to live with him but i just dont want to be known as that girl moved in with her boyfriend I just want some sence of normallcy

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    • No I haven't the only thing that she mostly cares about his college stuff she's not really into family problems

    • It might be worth talking to her about it anyway, if anything she can point you in the direction of someone who can help.

What Guys Said 3

  • There is a source to all your problems and it is your family. You may not believe in curses but you possibly have a family source of pain. You are designed to fall into the same traps and patterns. The firs thing you need to do is stop the curse. Look around you, no one in your family is grateful for anything. You may say that you are grateful but you do not feel it or mean it. You look around you and may not see anything to be grateful for until you look in the mirror. Look at your self and know that every hair wants to be there, wiggle your fingers and toes and feel thankful that you have them and everything works perfectly. Be thankful and grateful for those legs which carry you to all the places you want to go to and enjoy the thought that they are yours and work perfectly. For everything you have be grateful. Look at your grand parents who have the small house that hold and protect you, be thankful for it and feel it. Find a place on the floor to call your own for a moment and feel, truly feel grateful for it. It is in being grateful for what you have in the now and the release of this feeling to the universe or God that more things to be grateful for will come.

    You have a God of great wealth and in a moment your life can and will change but you first must be grateful and only your creator knows your feelings. Because feelings are triggers for blessings, the boyfriend for this time in your life may have to be put on hold. You need your life together because the possiblity of pregnancy and poverty are standing at your front door.

    A suggestion is to join a profitable church not a poor one and pickup some work baby sitting, which can be a very high paying position for a teen age girl. A church is good because people are looking for some one to help in a safe way. Research the word gratitude and know that it is the source of all wealth, power and a direct link to God. Just think how you would feel to be grateful for the small things. You will feel better.

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  • Well since your in high school try looking out for a part time job, if you have college roommates move in with them for some time, only thing for now is you need cash only a job will give you that.

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  • Sheyanne9715, I'm so sorry to hear of this, and I feel your pain. Nearly 30 years ago, I went through similar times. Children suffer needlessly because parents make irresponsible choices; I don't intend to be judgemental, but that's how it is.

    My request to you: have faith in yourself. Cling on there. At 17, you're at the end of this troublesome phase. Work hard. Be proud of whatever you do. You'll come out tops, believe me!

    (I must share that I did work hard and achieved a number of my dreams... Once you start working, a whole lot of things will fall into place. As for your boyfriend, while I understand how you feel about him, there's little or nothing you can do to change his perception. Just have patience and confidence in yourself. Whatever has to happen on that front will be for the best, if you believe yourself!)

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