My boyfriend of 2 months is starting to show his unrefined side and its making me not like him?

I'm 29, female. My friend introduced me to her coworker because she thought we would get along. At first, looking at his facebk and texting with him, he seemed very handsome, ambitious, funny, humble, mature, refined, and like a gentleman. We've been dating for 2 months. He's starting to become a little too comfortable now. He doesn't offer to pay for any of our dates... we always split it. Which is OK. But its his words that are starting to bother me. He has a slightly harsh way of talking. Maybe because he's a boy, and I'm super soft and girly. I feel like he's starting to treat me as one of the boys. For example, he uses phrases like "don't act like you're doing me a favour", or "I don't have to impress you anymore", or " this is who I am, take it or leave it". He even spit on the ground once while we were walking around! Ladies, have you ever been with someone like this? Its turning me off. I don't know if its because he hasn't dated anyone in 3 yrs... but its only been 2 months, and the romance and magic is already starting to fade :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually it takes a couple months for folks to show more of themselves. Most relationships hit this hurtle at the 3 month mark... so many are in jeopardy of falling apart at this moment in time. Sounds like you and him are nearing that point. Keep in mind not everyone is perfect though.

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What Guys Said 5

  • No one is going to always seem perfect to you, after you get to know them well. You're playing the princess and the pea here!

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  • This isn't a story book and the prince can't make you happy. People are going to Fart and spit and say things that piss you off, no matter who it is it will never change. So forget about any fantasies and just worry about if your happy if yes then stay if not then leave it's pretty simple

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  • Next time tell him to watch his language XD
    Dump his Azz if he's being disrespectful and so full of himself..

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  • Sounds like you are kinda soft but thats not important. If you are turned off by him end it now. Also, spitting is human.
    The more important thing is that you find a man who treats you how you want to be treated. That being said if spitting on the ground turns you off then you might be turned off by a lot of men. Might be single for a while. Unless you are gorgeous.

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  • I'm guessing that since you mention him not paying for your end of the date that's its NOT ok or it wouldn't have come up. Welcome to the modern world. Women are no longer considerd 'helpless'. You should pay for your own stuff. Treating each other occasionally is fare and kind.
    "don't act like you're doing me a favour" is a rude thing to say, I agree.
    "I don't have to impress you anymore", " this is who I am, take it or leave it" need context but sound rude as well. The latter being possibly a reaction to your insistence he act in a way he is not natural to, but he should make effort and broden his experiences, everyone needs to be made to feel special once in a while.
    This one made me laugh: " He even spit on the ground once while we were walking around!" Well for heavens sake he must be an uncouth clod for spitting- once. I sincerely hope he removed his monocle while he did this! My god what a cad!
    And he hasn't dated anyone in 3years? Geeze he must have deteriorated socially into a monster in all that time.
    Sounds to me you are looking for a movie like romance where he has no faults. The reality is he does. We all do- even you. I have no idea what he is like, but your post lacks any REAL problems or context to illustrate those possable problems clearly. Obviously he is not the one for your way of thinking; I highly doubt any man would be or should be. You must consider yourself very highly, to consider him so low-ly.

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What Girls Said 5

  • That's what happen when you are not yourself at the beginning. Mean people change themselves in the seduction process. They only thing that bother me in your entire text is when he says " I don't have to impress you anymore". no one want stop be taken for granted. If it's not meant to be then you don't have to force yourself to be in this relationship.

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  • This is his real self. If you dont like it, leave it. I'm at the point where my fiance even farts in my face lol. But i love him with all of his attitudes

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    • This is a good attitude to have. A woman that can accept the whole man, and not just some facade. I don't even consider a couple close until they feel comfortable enough to start farting around each other. lol

  • When you see crazy cross the street. You don't have to put up with someone like that. If he is already making you question him after 2 months than I think you should find someone who you think is worthy of you. You don't need to settle for less. Why be with him if he makes you feel unwanted?

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  • Leave, he's starting to show the real him. It only gets worse.

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  • leave as early as possible. you can get yourself into a big trouble if you'd let him treat you that way!

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