Guys, do you like when a girl initiate a relationship?

To keep it short, he couldn't decide what he want bc he was thinking too much about what I want in life that he felt like he couldn't provide. Well he came back to me bc I think he realized he was missing me in his life. Now I text him what are we doing? He text back "u tell me?" What do you think? I text back "Do you want to see other people? I dont." Was that bold. I want to be in a relationship with him but I didn't know how to tell him. Do you think that is clear enough? He hasn't text yet but would that have turned you off? I know he really likes me. He asked me the other day.."why do you still like me?" I had to remind him.

Updates:
I text him and this was the convo... tell me what you think... After I asked him if he want to see other people. Fyi he is confused. . he still chat online with other women but I don't think he slept with them... His response after I asked if he want to see other people "I mean do you want to see other people? I dont." Him "I mean don't feel like I want to be in a relationship anytime soon."
Me after hours of no response back to him Yea. I wasn't looking that far. It just had me thinking bc I activated my profile on a dating site and saw yours. I can't be mad. Obviously you are looking for something. I only activated mine bc I thought you were moving on. Just thought you should know that so you don't wonder if I come off as stand offish.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I grew up introverted and socially awkward, I have Asperger's but for almost a year now I felt better in not letting it stop me but yes I would love it if a girl was the initiator in terms of actively pursuing a guy first since I don't have much experience, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna make her do all the work, no not at all

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What Guys Said 3

  • He seems still confused.. he isn't probably able to set priorities in life and that's making him panic when he thinks about stuff going around.. i think you are giving him time which he might not be taking proper care of.. you got to stay calm and think that are you guys really up for a relationship?
    Missing people after they are gone is part and parcel of life.. but are you guys really missing each other coz of love or its just the attraction? you to give it a thought being very calm and practical.. :)
    hope i dint offend you..

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    • No that helps bc I want it to be bc of love. I told him that I felt like I was being selfish but I don't want to see him with anyone else. I asked him why me and his response was you tell me. It makes me confused a little. I met his fam and he met some of mine in the beginning then we slowed down and he almost quit but came back. I never seen him so happy to see me in awhile

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    • I think he is trying to see how long I am going to be around. He's not used to having a woman who truly cares in his life. He came back and started initiating text. I guess I have to let my guard down some.

    • That's nice to hear :)

  • Traditionally, guys do the asking. But if a guy is shy, it's not wrong for a girl to take the initiative. When a girl takes the initiative, it's generally considered very bold and quite sexy.

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    • traditionally people were drawn and quartered for speaking their mind ands all the towns people would come to w arch for entertainment. there's a reason we move forward in history instead of perseverating.

    • Look at update and add this as 3rd paragraphAnd something I never really understood is why people assume that bc you are talking to one person you are automatically in a relationship? How are people supposed to build something if they are distracted or not all in. I mean your either with it or not. That's just my opinion

    • I'm waiting on his response to that

  • I'm pretty shy so I find it super attractive and flattering if a gir is confident enough to put the moves on me

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    • Look at update and add this as 3rd paragraphAnd something I never really understood is why people assume that bc you are talking to one person you are automatically in a relationship? How are people supposed to build something if they are distracted or not all in. I mean your either with it or not. That's just my opinion

    • I'm waiting on his response to that

What Girls Said 3

  • thast was not bold. he sled you what you thought whatr are you supposed to do lie opt pretend you can't think.

    anyone who is ready for a relationship should say so so that they know if they are wasting their time.

    ifd youy waot or someone just bc of their sex and theory dk what they want you're going to end up losing a lot of time.. for why? nothing.

    there's no reason you can't initiate a relationship. which you didn't. you just hinted.

    if you want to be with him TELL HIM. if he's not up for it accept it gracefully and move on.

    i think you're avoiding initiating bc you think if you wait and behave you'll be rewarded with a relationship.

    it loos like you'll be rewarded with indecision,

    and do you really want a guy who is so insecure hell reject you bc you are not insecure?

    of course he should consider you if you guys are thinking of a relationship just as you consider him.

    him being confused is not WHY you should state what you want.

    you valuing your time band not wanting to be docked around and respecting yourself is why you should state clearly why you want.

    he's either in or he's out. waiting just gives him control over your like, it does nothing for you and it doesn't classify a thing bc he's the one who is confused. you dont give authority o people who dk wtf they are doing.

    make a decision make an effort. sand accept his decision gracefully. whether you like it or not. just as he needs to respect yours.

    you're an adult you dont need permission to speak.

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    • Look at update and add this as 3rd paragraph "And something I never really understood is why people assume that bc you are talking to one person you are automatically in a relationship? How are people supposed to build something if they are distracted or not all in. I mean your either with it or not. That's just my opinion

    • I'm waiting on his response to that

  • I've always heard that, if a guy really wants you, he will not hesitate to show it.
    He seems a bit unstable , so why do you want to put up with someone like that?
    You asked him straight out and he didn't give you a straight awnser. I think you should let go and find someone worth your time.

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    • Yea that's why I thought. I think bc I told him that I WAS not going to leave and I wanted to grow and get better together he realized that I was serious. Now I stepped down and he is now initiating phone calls and text like in the beginning. I told him that I don't know what to expect and he told me to just be myself. I'm still not going to put my all into anything. All I'm trying to be is a friend and he's doing all the chasing now.

    • Good :) dont give in all, perhaps date others?

    • Yea that's what I'm trying. I went out over the weekend. He asked me how my night went and if I was alone. I said no. I didn't tell him that I was with a female or who I was with so he can wonder. I think he thinks I'm seeing someone and realizing that he could lose me.

  • i've initiated most of mine, the guys have loved it from my experience

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