Has Tinder hurt anybody's self esteem as much as it has mine?

Tinder has destroyed my self esteem completely and I feel like nobody wants me..
This can't be normal. I literally swipe everybody sometimes just to see who swipes me back and the only matches I get are clearly objectively repulsive looking girls. I'm not even being shallow. These people I get matched with are truly bad looking. Why is this the best I can do? If beauty is subjective, then why hasn't a cute girl liked my picture on there after 6 months?

Honestly, how bad are my looks? Should my standards be low? I'm almost 22 and I've had no luck on Tinder or in real life either.. I don't even know how to lower them because they are very normal standards now...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't base your self-esteem on Tinder. That app's horrible for self-esteem unless you're a girl, an extremely hot guy, or someone very secure in themselves. There's way more guys on there, all swiping yes, so girls get a lot of matches and messages. That makes them more selective about who they say yes to. Hot guys - well more girls swipe yes on them, so they get many matches and messages too. It's just very shallow and artificial; all about appearance and presentation.

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    • So basically I'm just not considered hot enough for them and they think they can do better? That sucks. What is it about my looks?

    • You're attractive, it's just that on Tinder everyone's compared side by side, and there will be guys who are hotter or have more going for them. Not just looks, but probably other factors too - maybe they come off really funny/cool/adventurous in their pictures, descriptions or chats, they might have a great job/go to a great school, have interesting hobbies, etc.

    • 2mo

      just lol

What Girls Said 9

  • Honestly, you shouldn't value yourself based on that app. Apps and websites like that are often have many people with high standards due to society filling our minds with images of what beauty should look like. It's difficult to ignore how many "likes" or messages you get from others, but it isn't accurate to real life. In my opinion, you're attractive. I'm sure there are plenty of other girls that think the same, you just haven't met them yet. It's not uncommon to be in your situation at your age. Give it time. Maybe it would be best to just focus on living and the right person will eventually walk into your life.

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  • You shouldn't let a dating app effect your self-image or your self-esteem. It is based soley off of looks. I think in order to meet someone decent, you should get off that dating website stuff and try meeting people in real life. A lot of times we get so consumed with meeting/dating someone and we lose ourselves in the process. Start doing more of what you enjoy, and centering your happiness, someone is bound to cross paths with you.

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    • But looks matter in real life too. I've been doing what you mentioned for up until 6 months ago because I feel like I'm getting old and I'm not desired if no girl irl has shown interest despite how social I am. I just dot know what to make of my looks anymore and it's very confusing

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    • But it's not shallow to want to be with a person you are attracted to. I just don't see how I'm not perceived as attractive by any cute girls in general.

    • If it's just physical... it is shallow. There are plenty of girls on here who are saying you aren't unattractive. I just think it's a little extreme to let your self-esteem plummet because of Tinder. Try new things, try a new environment, try meeting girls who are into what you're into.

  • nice girls aren't on tinder basically... but haaai im here and i'll swipe you ;)

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  • I don't use tinder, but I definitely wouldn't say your bad looking if that's you in your profile pic!

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  • When someone unmatches me I feel a bit insulted, mostly b/c the ones who do Unmatch were in a conversation with me... so yeah...

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  • Wtf is Tinder._.

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  • To be honest I don't think anyone on that site is worth talking to but you look way better than the people I see

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  • I DON'T FUCKING GET WHY WOMEN DON'T FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE. YOU'RE HOT AS FUCK AND YOU SEEM SWEET. This is NOT a troll opinion too btw. I'm dead serious

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  • If you depend your self esteem on random strangers then yeah its going to hurt.

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    • Well how else am I supposed to feel when I can't get a date for the life of me?

    • Maybe you shouldn't use the app? Or take a break from dating. You don't have to be with someone in order to feel good about yourself. You validate you not others.

What Guys Said 4

  • Well you could allways try to not use something as Tinder because it only judges people according to their looks and those who use it search for those with the "perfect" look and because of that those who still look good but does not reach just that high.
    It takes more than just a picter to judge someone in my opinion

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    • Well why aren't my looks cutting it for any of them? This app works for my friends.

    • It's not cutting it for them, but as I said, they are probabaly just looking for that perfect hulk with more muscle than brain because that is for some reason the popular thing with some girls.
      I don't know what your friends look like, but they might look a way you don't and by that maybe be more attrictive in some girls eyes

  • I got tonnes of matches on Tinder and no replies. Like some girls on here have said, Girls get a lot of attention on there so they're not looking much at the app. THerefore your pic may not have come up. Get talking to girls in real life, be bold and actually ask them out. You will get rejected. I did, LOADS. But you also get some girls who feel the same but were too shy to tell you.

    Don't ask, don't get.

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  • I don't know bud, I don't use Hook-up apps and I'm not desperate for sex.

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  • I used it for a couple of weeks and got like 3 matches or so. Haha. But no, it didn't hurt my self-esteem at all.

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