Why don't chicks respond to guys on dating sites and apps?

I message girls, but 9.9999 times out of 10, then never respond. I'm not off putting, or offensive or anything like that. :/


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The issue's not with you, it's just that guys have the cards stacked against them on there. There's more guys on those sites/apps than girls, and they flood them with messages. It's not possible to respond to them all, so you just pick the ones you're most interested in.

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What Girls Said 9

  • because you aren't the only guy messaging them. she prob has at least 100 unopened messages in her inbox, she can't respond to everyone. she probably doesn't even read all of them

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  • My guy had to message me 4 times over 3 months to get me to respond. Not tooting my own horn, but I'm good looking, the days when I only got 5 messages were very slow days. if you don't have fantastic photos, or a great about me, well you're not gonna get messaged back. It's man shopping, if you don't see something that grabs you right away, you're not gonna want to buy it (message back)

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    • So it goes to say women are only about looks.. no matter how many ways you put it..

    • On the web yeah. The Internet is like a book. No matter what anyone says. You can't know the whole book until you're in person you don't know the feel, the weight, the smell. All you see is the cover and the little snipit about it.
      I'm not saying that it's good or right. But if you don't like the way the game is played stop trying to play it.
      I'd have someone take good photos of you, and have them read over what you want

  • Because they have a lot of guys messaging them every damn day. Imagine receiving more than 50 messages from various people every day. Would you have the patience to reply to all of them? No.

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  • Probably because they're looking for a certain type of person and they're just waiting for that one to message them.

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  • Most girls get a lot of messages and will only reply to the guys she finds attractive.

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  • Just depends on how you come off as... pervert, jerk, conceited etc.

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  • What site are these women getting 30-100 messages a day? I want on that one! Lol

    When I was a bit younger, I used a paid site and am ok looking (slender not gorgeous and not ugly) and usually responded to everyone who wrote an actual message unless he was well out of my preferred age category or location (shown), sexually explicit or his message was super weird. I even answered a few weird ones, like the guy asking if I was a robot in very broken English. The ones I steered away from were antagonistic or too presumptuous (guys who try to tell you all about yourself, usually in a condescending way).

    Some tips:
    Focus on girls in your area and with similar interests. Read their profiles to see if they're good matches, don't just message everyone who has the figure or hair color you like.

    Write 1-2 paragraphs. Just putting "Hi" or "What's up" or worse "You're hot" isn't so good. But neither is writing a novel.

    Tell her something you liked about her profile beyond the pic and how you are similar in some way. Be a little bit personal, but not TOO personal. That you're inspired by the same movie is cool, that a movie she likes makes you think about how confused about your parents divorce as a teen is too much.

    Make sure you use clear photos. Have another person take them. The bedroom webcam shot is a kiss of death for many guys. Have a few photos with no hat on. Don't take bathroom mirror selfies.

    Realize the web is weird. In the real world, we unconsciously screen out people by off body language or behavior, but that's trickier online. You just have to go with the flow.

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  • Because there are a sea of men messaging us and it gets pretty annoying to sort through all of them. It's much better to talk to girls in person.

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    • I gave up on dating sites because of getting no replies and anyway how do I know the person I am talking to is really a girl, it could be a man with a girls profile.

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    • I agree with this, how can girls on dating sites just go by looks? It seems personality does not count it seems.

    • It does count, but it counts more outside of the internet realm. We can't tell what your personality is like or how it will mesh with ours through a computer.

  • its genuinely not because theyre bitches or anything! when girls make a profile it gets flooded with hundreds of messages a day even if you're only an average looking 4-5/10 like i am so you have to only reply to the few that really stand out and write thoughtful messages because if you reply to every single hi you'll be on that website for hours everyday plus futher replies and so on. if you dont believe me find a picture of a girl off the internet and set up a dating profile as a female just to see how much ur inbox blows up

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What Guys Said 6

  • I used to do online dating and I'll tell you, many of the girls have told me they get 30-50 messages a day. They can't possibly respond to every single message. Plus honestly, if they're not interested, it'd make no sense to get a message thinking she's interested just to see that she's not interested. Plus many girls have sent "rejection letters" just to get cursed at and told all sorts of crazy things. So it really doesn't pay to risk that.

    So basically they're just not interested.

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  • I hate that problem on dating sites so I gave up. You would think if you are not going to bother responding to anyone you just would not bother belonging to a dating site to begin with.

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  • They have a bunch of messages and they weren't interested in you. Plus, if you're using a photo like the one in your profile, you look really unhappy.

    Real-life meetings are best, so make sure you aren't putting your hopes in online dating--online is just a supplement (although I don't use it)

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  • Chick-o-nomics. Supply and demand.

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  • They receive hundreds of messages a week, if not more. You have to be a perfect ten to stand out of the crowd.

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  • They're too busy responding to the better looking men that messaged them. Message more and aim lower if you aren't getting anywhere.

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