Would you stick around if a guy likes you but is not ready for a relationship?

I used to be purely friends with this guy and we have a great connection and talk a lot, and a month or so ago things kinda changed and we started finding each other attractive. Since then we've been talking even more and flirting/joking more. He's said several times that we're beyond friends now because he's definitely attracted to me and want to jump my bones. And he's been trying to get together in a dating sense with possibility that things might lead to sex for us. However, he's worried about what it might mean for us if we had sex because he doesn't want me to get hurt if we had different expectations. He's a very sensitive and sincere guy and said there's so much going on in his life now that he's not in the right footing for a new relationship. Plus he just got out of his last relationship one or two months ago.

Since we talk a lot, I know he's got a lot on his plates and with that fairly recent breakup, it might be too soon for a new relationship for him. My concern is, should I still stick around and hope that one day we will be a couple? I do like him but I'm also experienced enough to guard my heart before things are serious. The thing is we feel this attraction toward each other and there might be "sexual tension" when we hang out. What if things progressed to kissing or making out, should we just stop and say we can't do this? It seems tricky. I've also never been one to sleep with someone and get emotionally attached before I know there's some sort of commitment.


Most Helpful Guy

  • NO, you are wasting your time.

    You have to assume that you'll NEVER get a relationship with this guy, and so you need to move on, at least romantically.

    Now, that's not to say that a year from now, or 5 years from now, if he was ready for a relationship and you were both single, that you couldn't get together THEN. But you absolutely should not put your life "on hold" waiting for him to be ready when he might never be. Anything that is not a "YES" is a "NO", at least for now, and you need to structure your life accordingly.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wish I had an answer for but I'm going through something similar. I hung out with this girl all summer but a little over a month ago she kinda said the same thing to me. That I'm a great guy but she doesn't have the energy for a relationship right now. We never kissed but it kinda felt that's the direction things were headed.

    Maybe but it on the back burner awhile and if the feelings are still there or you haven't found someone else in a couple months try again. I think that's what I'm gonna try


What Girls Said 1

  • Nah, it's just an excuse to not be with someone. I'm not gonna waste my time.