I've gone out with this man on 3 dates. He's the one who has pursued me from the start. He approached me, asked for my number, asked me out, planned our dates, kept asking me out after every date. He was the one who always initiated contact. On date 3, I slept with him. Though he seemed to be a decent guy, because of what I had heard about the dating scene in this city and the hookup culture in this country, I was kind of worried about being pumped and dumped. But he kept communicating after that. Still texted me every day, initiated everything, asked me out again for a 4th date.
Here is where it gets murky. All week long, he was texting me about plans for the date. The night before the date, he even texted me a reminder of the date. The day of the date, I didn't hear from him until about 15 mins after our meetup time. He said he wasn't feeling well, had fallen asleep, and when he texted me, he had just woken up. He did say he felt terrible and asked to reschedule. That was on Sunday. He asked to reschedule for Tuesday.
I was so pissed and hurt and felt disrespected that I never responded. He has not texted me anything else after that. That was on Sunday, it's already Wednesday. Now I'm having mixed feelings. On one hand, I feel like I should just completely disconnect from this guy because I don't want somebody flakey. On the other hand, I am still interested in him because up until Sunday, he had always seemed like a pretty solid guy to me.
I don't know, though. The fact that he hasn't attempted to contact me again says to me that he's not that into me. I mean ok, I never responded to his text about the cancellation and rescheduling. But at the same time, I feel like the onus is on him to reinitiate contact since he was the one who, hello?, stood me up!
Any insight, especially from men? Is this the dude's way of pump and dump, you think?
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It could be, but it would be unusual. Normally, the "pump and dump" means after you have sex, you never hear from him again.
This guy continued contact afterwards, initiating contact a number of times and setting a date, etc. I'd be inclined to believe he was telling the truth, because if he was intentionally going to dump you, there would have been no reason to waste all of his time setting up the next date. Heck, he wouldn't have wasted time telling you he wasn't going to make it - he'd have just not shown up. Plus, he asked to reschedule.
IMO, you were WAY over-sensitive and not nearly understanding enough that in the real world, stuff happens. It's good to pay attention and be cautious, but nothing about what you wrote describes a typical player. I think the timing of the reschedule was just unfortunate - everything else was your overreaction.0