Do you think on and off relationships work?

If you're fighting like crazy within a year and you're on and off is it ever gonna work? I'm 18 and he is 19.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No. The reason it's on-and-off is because the two of you are incompatible in some fundamental way, and even though you may have feelings for each other, you are never going to fix that incompatibility without changing something about yourselves that neither of you has any desire to change.

    Books and movies like to make it seem that "love will conquer all", but in the real world, that's simply not true. Relationships only work in the long run when two people are COMPATIBLE in a number of ways that are important over the long term.

    Some incompatibilities:

    - one wants to marry, the other never does
    - one is religious and the other is not, or the two are of different/opposing religions and both are very pious.
    - one person wants a close-to-home career, and the other wants to travel the world.
    - one wants to live in the big city, the other in a rural area
    - both are either sexually dominant or sexually submissive (which is WAY out of balance)
    - one has a very high libido and the other a very low libido
    - one person wants to live an upscale, "society" lifestyle and the other wants a suburban family lifestyle.

    I could go on, but you get the idea. With these issues and more, if your views aren't compatible, then someone is going to be unhappy and it's going to drive a wedge between you.

    Another very common incompatibility is simply that some people have emotional problems, and until they address them via professional therapy and work them out, they will simply not be emotionally stable enough to be in a relationship. They will change their minds constantly, or not be able to decide what they want.

    It's easy to ignore and not face compatibility issues in the short run, but in the long term, a relationship won't survive them, and it doesn't matter how strong your feelings are or how good of a person they might be.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I am sorry that you are having issues in your relationship, and that you have to be faced with such a major decision, but i believe you need to end things for good. if you are fighting this much already then there is no point in building on a broken foundation. I think you should break it off with him for good and go find someone that does not fight with you as much. Best of luck

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What Girls Said 2

  • Does an on and off marriage work? Are you kidding me? If you can't get along now how will you get along in the future? Think ahead!

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  • No offense but I think you two need to get your shit together 😁

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