Sexual Relationships
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My girlfriend got blackout drunk and cheated?

My girlfriend went to a party on Halloween and got blackout drunk for the first time and made out with some guy. I found out like 4 days later and I asked her multiple times a couple days before and went through her phone and found out. She lied to my face and she finally admitted it. Should I breakup with her I don't know what to do... I'm more mad she lied to my face then anything
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For the record I have I posted a couple other questions last week about the same girl so if you read those that might give a better opinion on this question
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Coming from an ex-party girl, I would get black out drunk on several occasions and end up hooking up and not even knowing about until someone else told me. Not one of my proudest moments, but you have to understand that blackout me is nothing like sober me and I'm guessing the same goes for your girlfriend. I was still new to drinking, and legit could not drink without blacking out, the only thing that got me straight was when I ended up in the same exact situation as your girlfriend is in now.
    I cheated, and I didn't find out until a couple days later when a friend mentioned it to me. I was absolutely in love with my boyfriend and could not believe that I would do something like that, I was mad at myself but at the same time, I didn't feel like it actually happened because I had no memory of the night. I almost felt like it wasn't really me who cheated, but someone else who was too fucked up to even comprehend what was going on. My boyfriend ended up finding out before I could even get the courage to tell him on my own, but he was very mature about it. He was obviously angry and hurt, but he heard me out. I told him everything I was feeling and how I didn't remember the night, and he went for a walk. When he came back, he told me that he loved me too much to be without me and believed that everyone makes mistakes and deserves second chances. I thank God for having such a level-headed man and it's been over a year since that incident, and I've completely changed my ways. I limit my beers and don't drink as often, because I know what the blackout me is like, and I don't like her. I would never do anything to jeopardize my relationship.
    Anyways, the point is, people make mistakes and blacking out results in people doing things that they would NEVER do if they were sober.

    • Like I said its more about she lied after I told her I knew about it! And she kept denying it until I kept asking and she admitted it

    • It could be that she didn't believe it herself though. There have been times where I denied to others and myself that something happened because it seemed way too out of character for myself. Or maybe she was too afraid of the consequences if she did admit that she cheated. Wish I could have been more help :/

    • Anon lady, you're just like one of my female frienods I used to like. Its good to hear you changed your ways. I applaud you.

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  • If this is the First time she has given you this Doubting Thomas Doubt in your mind because of a Fright nite that ended up badly with blacking out and lip locking too, then I believe with a case like this and No past history of Ever have been found to be a cheating cheetah, everyone deserves a second chance.
    Yes, she 'lied to my face' because she was scared like a cat on a hot tin roof that you would break it off and dump her like the trash that I am not really seeing that she is here. And with coming clean, for she did get caught with her hand in the cookie jar, now is the time for you both to sit down once things have cooled down and have a serious soul mate talk. Open lines of convo are one of the most important factors in any new or old relationship.
    You have every right to be angry with her failing as she fibbed to your face. However, anyone would be petrified when faced down in a situation like this and with you putting her on the spot with your own proof in the pudding, she knew she had gotten caught red handed.
    If you decide to stay, she has some proving to do to earn this trust back which she shouldn't expect for awhile. Something like this that can put a wedge in any good relationship, needs to be taken in baby steps, handled with care and some laws laid down that if it ever happens again, you will be gone before the bewitching hour even strikes midnite.
    However, on her part needing to prove a few things, you can't harp on the past, go snooping into her phone by being your own Private Eye. You have to Learn to trust her again and work with her as this couple who love one another. Together you need to be this A-team who are making the Effort together and don't let the past get in your way of what you both started at.
    Good luck. xx

    Good luck. xx

    • I know but if I wouldn't have gone through her phone I would have never even known! She never would have told me... So how can trust her

    • I have explained it to you... yes, good maybe in That deal that you did to find it.. however, I explained that if you want to be together to be this couple now, giving her another chance, she has to prove herself, you cannot harp on her and you both need to work together.. re read it again... It will take some time to trust her again but if she has been loyal from before, this is a mistake she made.. if you have problems dealing with her mistake, then maybe a break is in order... xxx

    • I pretty much played the law down and told her that if she not 100 percent honest with from now and I catch her lying I'm out... I highly doubt she will stick to it but I will find out I guess

  • If she knew that much about it, she wasn't that drunk she couldn't control herself. Belive me or not, but it's true.
    Black out drunks dont know to lie and don't remember that much. It's just an excuse people always make. We're all a lot more free and willing when we're drunk, but still know what we're doing. If she was that blackout, she should a go to the clinic because she won't remember if she used protection will she, and b question if it's rape. But she shouldn't really question it was rape, because she did know what she was doing.

  • she lied to you, and the worst thing about being lied to is knowing you werent worth the truth, if someone lies to you then all the truths become questionable, what you put up with, is what you end up with so, keep your standards high within your relationship, dont allow her to lower them , make her rise up to them,

Most Helpful Guys

  • Blackout drunk or not you're still pretty aware of whats cheating and whats not, if she knew she kissed the guy than clearly she knew she cheated and what you do about that is up to you but I wouldn't stick around with a girl who goes to parties and claims to get blacked out and kisses other guys because if she's doing that the next set is sleeping with them and so forth and it's not going to stop unless the drinking and partying without you stops and I highly doubt she's going to do that for you if she lies to you about kissing another guy because she's clearly got no respect or care towards you.

    I would break up with her I know girls like that and there's plenty of them and I am sure you do as well and if they're willing to kiss a guy while drunk at a party they're liking going to end up fucking a guy soon enough even if they have a boyfriend. But I mean if you don't care that she does that than stick with her.

    • I know for a fact she was blacked out because I saw texts to her friends asking about it but she lied is the main issue I don't know what to do

    • lol just because she asks about it doesn't mean she wasn't just covering her ass.

  • "I'm more mad she lied to my face then anything.." and you should..
    She lied to you.. focus: she LIED to you..
    and if u still want to be with her.. eventually SHE WILL LOSE RESPECT FOR YOU and that is for sure!!!
    You should punish her by breaking up with her..
    She must realize that she didn't care about about you..
    This is the time u have to make ur heart strong enough like a rock.. AND NEXT TIME CHOOSE A GIRL WHO'S EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND KEEP IN MIND UR FEELINGS TOWARDS HER AND CARE ABOUT IT.
    And love that girl she she never felt before..

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 11

  • I would never tolerate cheating for any reason. If my boyfriend did what your girlfriend did, I'd break up.

  • The thing is... how could you have found out about it by going through her phone? Was there a written record of it? A video? A picture?

    Obviously, no matter how drunk she was, she's in the wrong, and not telling you was even worse.
    You going through her phone was low also.
    Your 'question' isn't even a question... it's a statement.

    If you love her, you'll forgive her or you'll break up - depends on what you feel you need to do.

    • A convo between her and a friend saying she just found out and didn't wanna tell me because I would break up with her

  • Since she was blacked out drunk she really has no contorl over herself but the fact she lied to your face about it is what I would be more concerned about. But overall all ya she did cheat and once a cheater always a cheater plain and simple.

  • YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

  • I think that if you love somebody no matter how much alcohol is in your system cheating isn't an option.

    • Have you ever been blackout drunk?

    • Yes I have a couple of times sadly, and I know you are gonna go on the then you should know you blah blah.. I know you don't remember anything but just because alcohol doesn't change the person you are its a matter of personal opinion I guess.

    • Also is she was black out drunk how does she remember making out with the dude?

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  • Dump the slut.

    • agreed, i fucking hate it when girls pull this bullshit. Happened once to me and never again

  • Blackout drunk=no recall. If she has recall, she was aware of her actions, so what does that tell you?

  • You should break up.

    1. You shouldn't have checked her phone (even tho something turned up). It was a breach of trust, even if she proved not to deserve it.

    2. You clearly couldn't trust her if you had to go through her phone. AND she's proven herself untrustworthy in lying to your face.

    So yea. Trust is the biggest thing here and it's not working on two counts

    • Well I went through her phone because she did some shady stuff in the past so yeah trust is def the main issue here

    • Doesn't really matter your reason. She may have broken your trust, but you did the same for her. You can't hold what she did in the past against her. You either forgive her or you dont, but you can't hold that over her head in the future if you forgave her back then. If you date another girl and you still have trust issues. "My ex cheated on me, that's why I'm like this" isn't an excuse to go through a girlfriends phone. I'm not saying you will do that. But that's the road you're going down. Just because she was shitty, doesn't mean you have to be. You always have the option to break up.

  • Lol oldest scapegoat in the book. Alcohol isn't an excuse.

  • Well I would have broken up with her, but in the end, its up to you man. But to me it seems like she really doesn't value you and/or the relationship.

  • I would break up with her. It's bad that she cheated on you but to make matters worse she lied to your face. She doesn't respect you. Do yourself a favour and walk away.

    • Oh and alcohol is never an excuse.

    • I feel like its a respect thing but it could be she was scared I would dump her because knows how I am

    • It doesn't matter just get rid of her. She's no good.

  • It's your fault!!! She's in a relationship and you let her go to "Halloween parties" = place where people hook up

    • I wouldn't say it's his fault I'd say it's her fault for even going without him she clearly doesn't care about him and he needs to get rid of her.

    • Well... He should of tagged along don't you think? He is the BOYFRIEND.

    • haha it's his fault?

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  • There was never trust to begin with and never will be so move on and find someone great. No one deserves to be lied to. Good luck

  • Dude I won't even care how drunk she was. I'd dump her.

  • Break up with her, obviously.

  • I think you should break up, she done two bad things cheated on you and lied.

    you can do much better.

  • kaka just BREAK the fuck UP

    • but before thinking of breaking up just think about the reverse case scenario tooo

    • If it was reversed I wouldn't have lied

    • sure u will that's what humans do dude but someday she might have said by herself and feel sorry 4 u if ur luv is so pure

  • ya she cheated.. if a guy did this to me i would break if off..

  • It was her first time to get drunk? well... I get that you're hurt, but most people overdose and get black out drunk the first times. I would not be mad, hurt, but not mad. I don't remember what, and why I did the things I did, when I get black out drunk. And I have made a lot of mistakes.

    • first time blacking out lol not drinking... Supposedly guys were all over her and she made out with one...

    • Oh. Well, some guys does take advantage of drunk girls. She might not even have been the one to start it. Blackout drunk is not really that fun, the day after.

  • How can she admit to something if she was in a blackout?

    • Her friends told her about it

    • Well ask her if she will consider not drinking. If she won't move on.

    • The thing is she never gets blackout drunk so its not even an alcohol issue its a she lied to me issue and how can I trust her

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