What do you think sets you back from finding that person that is perfect for you?

Sometimes we can't figure out why we can't meet quality men or women! Do you have a good idea of what is holding you back? Are you busy with work, is there know one in your area? Do you have bad luck with meeting or keeping partners around?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I also have high standards. I expect my first to be a virgin because I am one myself. I have already knocked out a huge chunk of the population just by that criteria alone. But when I find her she will be one of a kind and will be everything to me

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What Guys Said 10

  • My standards.

    They're too high.

    But truth be told, I will never drop them. Ever.

    I'd rather be alone then with someone who is not my equal. In all honesty, my standards are what make ME who I am, so the day I decide to drop them for my life partner is the day I will drop them for myself. And that's NEVER happening.

    So, with that said, I have intensely high standards for myself. I have a constant need for self-improvement and introspection, and I've yet to meet anyone face to face who can keep up with that (at least one that I've been attracted to).

    Personally I don't see why people get so bent over not finding a partner. My head and my chest is always held fucking high, and so should other people's, both in or out of a relationship.

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    • I totally get not wanting to lower your standards to meet someone, and it is true that meeting someone on your level leads to a better more fulfilling relationship. BUT two people are also meant to challenge and build each other up. Are you completely perfect? Do you have things you need to work on as well? When my clients tell me this, it's usually because they haven't taken the time to get to know someone well enough and are judging situations based on perception. For instance, I love a man who is healthy and into working out. Should I completely dismiss someone who eats a ton of junk food? Is that a picture of his personality or just a bad habit? Could I inspire him with my choices? Does that make him a bad partner? These are issues I struggle with frequently as well. But the energy you put out, saying you would rather be alone than find someone worthy, is brave but would you really? Would you want to be alone at 65 no family, nothing because no one on this earth can satisfy you?

    • "Would you want to be alone at 65 no family, nothing because no one on this earth can satisfy you?"

      Honestly? Yes. Gone 10 years and no signs of slowing down so far. Hell, I didn't even know it would go on for 10 years, it may go on for another 20 for all I know. If it changes, great, if it doesn't, it's just as well.

      I take strength within myself and my family, not in relationships. It's pretty much always been this way.

      But no, I'm not completely perfect, never said I was. I only said if the person fits my criteria (I never told you what my criteria for a partner is either, in fact, my partner can be VERY different from me, there are just 3 key things that I require in a partner, which no one has ever been able to accomplish yet).

    • I would love to know your criteria. I don't think you think you're perfect. and true you're aam you don't have eggs that give up with time. You could pretty much do this forever without a hitch but if you even have a criteria you must want love right?

  • What is holding me back has to be that whenever I try to get close to someone they never really give me a chance by just avoiding me once I try to get closer

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    • Interesting, maybe you should wait for better signals they want you to be close before you reveal your heart them. Wait for that genuine person that gives you the signs they appreciate and want your love.

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    • Well you shouldn't and don't have to change yourself for others and yes a friendship is important. And no a bar isn't the answer but when you are friends with women for a longer time they tend to put you a in another box, one that isn't romantic. Maybe meet new women and develop those friendship qualities with a twist. Get to know them and court them simultaneously. you don't have to look like Thor to find love lol if so 90% of men never would. You just need to find girls who are interested in you romantically and then get to know them.

    • So basically I would have to find someone who wants to have sex with me before even getting to know me?
      As I said before I'm not interested in sex, only the feeling of having someone close. I guess that really is something really rare and close to impossible to find and thus my annoyance with trying to get into an relationship.

  • Simply, its because your looking for something that your not getting. You have an image in your mind that is probably holding you back. If you can find him great, if you can't and having trouble, its probably because there unrealistic.

    Just remember sparks don't always come instantly, people grow on you and you tend to start loving someone over time. You just have to give people a chance and see where it goes.

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  • Myself. Too shy, rarely approach, never believe a girl I like could be interested back.

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    • You would be surprised who is interested back. I knew a guy I was really into and he liked me but never thought my interest was there. I went out on a date with him too! We could have been great together but he had no confidence that a girl like me liked him.

    • So even after the date he still thought you would not be interested in him? We can be so tough on ourselves...

  • I refuse to accept societies expectation that I should approach. Dropping hints from afar, nope. We both have a mouth and two legs.

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  • I never go iut that much. Im too busy ssorting my life out. And when I do go out, its usually with my friends to the cinema. To play golf or to eat at a resturant ans those aren't places you go to meet girls

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  • Shyness, mostly.

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  • Being physically unattractive.
    Living in a rural location and not having a car.
    Having a small social circle.

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  • Fear of rejection and assuming there is a better persons to follow !!

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  • Being 5'8 that's my that's my problem

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What Girls Said 4

  • The main reason is hidden in your question - "why can't we meet quality men or women." The flaw is in our seeking quality in others. Rather we should be more interested in celebrating the good in each and every person we meet. That's what men and women of real quality do. Then, love will only follow.

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  • I guess it can be me pushing people away when they get too close. Losing someone scares me and I go the easy and lame thing by not letting myself be vulnerable or take a risk with someone. I over think too, it's something I can easily learn to stop doing and just live. I definitely need to take my own advice I think we all o that, give it to others but don't apply it to ourselves. He is out there but I certainly know where he sure isn't at, lol like at clubs, house parties, etc. He must be out working hard in school and/or working. Till then. :D

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    • Interesting concept thinking about what they are currently doing.

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    • Bravery is on the other side of fear. We have to face our fears to learn lessons! You are most likely right about him not being at clubs maybe the right person will make it easier to face those fears. They will look more exciting than scary

    • Yeah totally we must be brave to see what is on the other side because if we never do we never will know. Great question by the way :D

  • I honesty have no idea. I try everything. Online dating. Speed dating. Going out to events. Volunteering. Etc. I meet people but nothing is happening. I have just given up, not in a dispair way but just tired of trying everything. Not sure why this is so difficult.

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  • It's me definitely. I'm definitely holding myself back. I have OCD, I don't have terrible extreme OCD but I have it. My standards are super high as well so that could be it.

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    • also, I see what my friends go through with their guys and I don't want that kind of emotional trouble. I don't have time to babysit someone my age or older.

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