Is he busy or ignoring me? Please help!?

Been dating this guy for about a month. He's divorced and 32 and I'm 30. We live an hour away, so the 3 dates we have were intense overnight weekends. We had a rocky start since I was sick during some of the weekends, but he still seemed very interested. He texts/calls almost everyday and he's always in contacct. He does most of the initiating.

Our last date was him visiting me all weekend. It was good and we had sex. He was very talkative with me the following two days and said what a great time he had with me. Then the next two days he called me at night, one of which I missed his call so we only talked last Wednesday. He seemed burnt out and down but I didn't think anything of it. He asked what I was doing this weekend but didn't ask me out. He told me about his schedule for the week and he was swamped with his new job and social events and a wedding this weekend. I was hurt he didn't ask me out, but his schedule was so packed that I understand.

So I tried to call him last Thursday and I didn't hear from him all day. The next morning he apologized for missing my call and told me he went out with friends until late and was hungover. That was Friday and now it's Sunday and I still haven't heard from him.

I know he was super busy and stressed this week, but is it normal to slowly limit contact and now I haven't heard from him all weekend?

What should I do? I can't stand the silence so I was going to text him tonight, knowing he doesn't have plans today, and just ask how the wedding was. I'm friends with his brother and don't want to resort to asking him until I know for sure if he's ignoring me. If he wasn't interested at all, I'm assuming he wouldn't have made the effort to call those few nights he was swamped and apologize for missing my call. He has a high pressure job and very full life that is picking up, so maybe I'm just not used to him being this busy and should be happy he at least tried to call all week. Please help!!!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Whoa! Take it easy, your fine, he's fine, everything's fine. It's only been a couple days. He's busy and has built a life for himself before he met you. Him including you in it, taking time making plans, he's demonstrated that you are high enough in value, that he likes you enough to work around his schedule.

    Take a deep breath, give it another day or two. If he still hasn't contacted you, then you can contact him.

    Oh and no dragging siblings of new relationships into anything that's between just you two.

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    • I texted him last night since I was too anxious and turns out someone he knows is dying and has been dealing with that all weekend. Explains his silence. I asked to see him this week if he has time and he said he would let me know his schedule today. Sounds like he's still interested but has a lot going on. Thanks for your thoughts on this, you were right. I'll try to be more patient!

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