I'm heart broken and confused, help people!

I met this girl about 2 months ago, we have been going out for 3-4 times to movie, park and her/my place etc. since the movie is a scary movie, she grabs on to my arm and rest her head on my shoulder most of the time. according to her, "those are good memories." and she asked for the pictures on my phone that we took together. she always offers hug goodbye. we texted, snapchat a lot. Last weekend just before her midterms. i told her that I like her and she was surprised because when we were together, i kept my distance. Guess i didn't make my intention clear. And she suggested to be friend still to get to know each other more, she said being friend is good, its when a guy proves to a girl who he really is, and that she values our friendship which i think means there is potential. I know i shouldn't have pushed, but she told me she doesn't feel the chemistry, but then she once told me she didn't like her ex-bf at first so idk. We met up last Thursday and i basically apologized that the confession was my bad, and had a fun talk, and i asked to hangout next week at the end. i texted her after and tried to explain that the reason i kept my distance was because i didn't realize i liked her until recently. and she replied thanks :), when are you free next week and stuff. she's been giving me roller-coaster rides, she was on a lot of dating sites like tinder, and puts her instagram ID and snapchat id everywhere, got like 1k followers in 2 weeks. she's unstable cause her best friend is a party girl, they go to the club pretty often. and she's still on this "POF" dating site with the status "looking for a relationship". she told me she didn't want to have a relationship and she's friend-zoning everyone? now i back off a bit, what do you guys think i should do? I really like her more than a friend.

PS: she just got out of a relationship that hurts her emotionally 2 months ago and said she's not looking for a relationship now.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well obviously she friend zoned you. After a bad relationship some girls want to get wild and have fun. Maybe she just wants to party right now. But I feel like because she has a POF that says looking for a relationship maybe she's just using you. Some girls like knowing that they have a back up guy hanging around in the background to be there for them. My bestfriends has like 3 of them. Its the reverse of friends with benefits. You have the relationship and carry out all of the boyfriend like tasks, but you don't get the actual benefits of being a boyfriend like the physical stuff. I would say you should distance yourself from her and move on. I know it's easier said than done, but it just seems like she's leading you on.

    • so i should cut contact with her? thats the only way for me to lose interest in someone i really liked.

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    • @bella_noce64 your friend has the best game on the market. 3 back up guys? I have no sympathy towards those guys and no hate towards your friend.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Being honest hun it sounds like she sees you more of a friend than someone who she would be in a relationship with. You sound like a nice lad and I think you should find a girl who feels the chemistry between you not just a friendship otherwise I could see you getting even more hurt waiting for something that might not happen x

    • what kind of friend grabs my arm and lay her head on my shoulder for a long time in a movie?

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    • Me personally no I wouldn't but everyone's different so just because I don't act like that doesn't mean that she won't thinking it's okay because your friends

What Guys Said 2

  • For me I would move on. The mistake was made of not being upfront about your feelings, but you made it be known how you felt and so now the ball is in her court. You shouldn't wait for her to come around because who knows how long that'll take. I wouldn't hold a grudge towards her, but if that's how she feels, throw your reel back in the pond and start looking for another fish.

    • I'm too attached to move on. unless like some time later she still doesn't approve. i will move on then. but right now, I'm getting mixed signals. she's basically just saying we should be friend for now and get to know each other more. but i think if you like someone, don't you feel it instantaneously when you guys meet? getting to know each other why?

  • if she was into you, you'd know it. Move on, she has you contact info.