Girlfriend told a guy she wasn't dating?

So here's the thing... long story short I looked at her texts (yes a big mistake) and found something that rather upset me

We've been dating for 3 months and a guy asked her if she was dating... she said she's "been on dates" but not in a relationship... he then asks her out and she says she likes him but not in that way? And isn't ready for a relationship and didn't want him to wait for her to be ready?

I'm so confused because it's sending so many mixed signals... I've got 2 ways to look at this

1) she has mentioned in the past how her guy friends always drop contact with her once they find out she's dating and she just wants to be friends which makes her sad. Is she just saying this to try and keep him as a friend? This would make me uncomfortable if they ever did anything together because he may try something?

2) she isn't sure of us but wants to keep this guy on the back burner... but why tell him to not wait for her?

I love this girl to death and she says she loves me... I have no reason to doubt her faithfulness other then this and I don't really want to bring it up with her... what's your take on this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dump her immediately

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    • Either dump or make her make her mind, she's totally playing with him, and he's letting that happen.

What Girls Said 2

  • 1. You should not be looking at her texts

    2. Maybe she wants attention but doesn't want to date him instead of you

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    • both facts are correct, but is this fair to me?

  • You should confront her and be honest about how you feel. You'll never know until you ask and being a part of a relationship takes a lot of open communication.

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    • Sadly, It would quickly shift to why I was going through her phone : /

    • Yes, and that is something that you'll have to answer to. You both betrayed one another's trust but just because you did something wrong doest take away from what she did.

What Guys Said 2

  • Tell her to go after him, don't discuss, just tell her that, and that from now on you can do the same thing, your relationship is now nothing but a business relationship where both parts will extract the most out of it. I don't know if you got me, but stop being a chode and make this girl decide what she wants from her life, I'm sure there are other women in the world that would love to have a bf like you, so you have not obligations of being faithful to someone who's acting like a bitch, and, btw, cut that crap of "I love her", men are not supposed to fall in love by women, you can like then, but NEVER act as if they are everything in your life, you don't want to be cheated, do you? Stop acting as a man, really, you're going on the wrong way, you have to know how to deal with women, otherwise you'll end up in a very bad situation.

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  • Am I the only person who sees dating and being in a relationship as two separate things? Dating is what people do prior to entering a relationship or have I got the stages mixed up?

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    • Yes... she told him she's been dating but not in a relationship... id call 3 months of exclusive dating a relationship

      We've already had our talk of what this is a month into dating where we both said we wanted a fully comited relationship

    • Then she clearly doesn't value the relationship or you because if she did she would have said she is in a relationship, not dating.

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