Married an crushing?

I've been married over 10 years, have 2 beautiful children. everything's been perfect. then I met her. she's only a few years younger, maybe 3, but seems like she's in her early 20's. not in a bad, immature way. just full of life and awe still. great body. really intelligent. has a very different, very interesting outlook on life. annoyingly stubborn, but somehow in a very cute way. smells great.

I was attracted from the very moment we met. a few months later I realized she has a crush on me. her shy nervousness turns me on. her smile drives me crazy. I find any excuse to touch her, her arms, her back. she never touches back though, just stares down. I'm afraid if I take it a step further too fast I'll scare her away. I have to have her. what should I do?

Updates:
I'm mostly looking for real advice from other men.
also, I have to admit I've always been much more attracted to black women (not the fake stereotypical kind in music videos, mtv, or even worse: bet. but the real beautiful, head on her shoulders, sweet black women) she doesn't have much of a butt, ha ha, but still. (I'm white, btw)

there's nothing wrong with loving more than one person.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You start dating your wife again, That's what you do. Your wife and you have fallen into old habits with everyday life and life just became a routine properly goes something like this work, kids, bed or something like it. But for real have the grandparents take the children for the weekend or at most for 24hrs. Drive and rent a bed and breakfast or a hotel with a spa, hot tub, wine and romantic dinner. Do things that you did for her that you did before you got married. Tell her how beautiful she is and thank her for having your children and for being your wife and tell her the things you love about her. This other girl only seems exciting because she is new but what you really need is re new your relationship with your wife.

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What Girls Said 10

  • You've put yourself in a horrible situation. And you're the only one who can get yourself out of it. I like to live by the motto that the grass is only greener where you water it. You may think that the grass is greener on the other side but its just an illusion that you've created for yourself. I'm sure if you think of this logically you will realize that your desire to keep a happy marriage will far outweigh your desire for this young girl. Be smart. You have children involved. That's what you should do.

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  • Lose everything you have worked so hard on just to get with a chick.

    -Your children will despise you. So will your soon ex wife. She will win most everything in the divorce.

    Now I know why the divorce rate is so high, no one fighting to keep their vows alive. I don't wonder why because of people like you.

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    • Oh and one last thing, you won't die if you don't get her so don't say "I have to get her". Utter rubbish

    • Well said.

    • "there's nothing wrong with loving more than once person"

      Hahaha that is so silly of you. I bet your wife doesn't even know. How cruel of you to play her like that. You will end up alone, your children will despise you, your wife will abandon you, and your girl? Will find someone younger.

      Choose wisely old man. The clock is ticking. And all our choices have consequences.

      @snowangle Thanks!!

  • You're fucked.
    Seriously, you better leave it alone. Now. Not worth it, soooo not worth it. It's just lust.
    Your family means more to you, than a little bit of novelty. And she knows you're married with kids? She obv gives no fucks about your life.
    Don't go there man...

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  • I'm not judging you here because I don't know the circumstances of your marriage. However, if you've decided you need to be with this other woman then you owe it to your wife to tell her and give her the freedom to move on to. Don't do a single thing with the other girl until you've fone at least that much.

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  • Tell your wife. She deserves to find someone who won't look at other women after she has bared his children.

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  • Divorce your wife and go after her, wooow and they say why am so mean to guys? are you a man? because for me you are not one, trying to chase a young girl and cheat on your wife I don't know how you got a courage to come here and ask us this question.

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  • That would be the biggest mistake in your life. I'm sure EVER married or taken person will develop a crush within their relationship but it's your responsibility to not take it any further. Just remember why you married your wife.

    Feelings come and go. They often fool around with us. Give the women the cold shoulder. B you'll Forget About her

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  • Sir respect your marriage maybe divorce your wife first before doing stuff like that. You're one of those horrible person in the world. I hate cheaters sorry.

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  • Lose all connections with whoever that new chick is. Bruh you're screwed. Don't ruin your whole life over some other chick!!!

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  • see things like this is what creates heart broken women who end up being COLD and bitter later on... please dont
    you said yourself everything has been "perfect" why waste it over something so little?
    think of your wife and little ones
    how would you feel if you were a little boy and found yourself caught in courthouses and getting torn in your parents divorce because your dad (your role model) cheated on your mom?

    ... please dont

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What Guys Said 4

  • I hate to say it but the women are right.

    1) You said your current marriage is perfect. Shame on you.

    2) You ARE fucked. This chick obviously doesn't care, as @mgoods has said. You'll probably get a lay but nothing more than that. Stats show those relationships between cheaters never last anyway, you should know that, so what exactly are you looking for? A quick lay? Don't be stupid.

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  • Never.

    Why would you keep trying to find a new better woman when you already have one that's probably great? Don't be an idiot! Go talk to the wisest person you know and ask them to help you with this in detail. If you are like a lot of people and don't know any wise people, call a psychologist, or go to the phone book and call a church in your area to ask for counseling.

    Do not be selfish. Your role as a man now is to prioritize the happiness of your wife and children, not yourself! Would you cause so much destruction to your own wife and children just to satisfy your own desires?

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    • I love you for your kind words. :P I hope I meet a man as awesome as you.

    • Hahah, I doubt the asker finds my words as kind as you, but thats ok.

      And don't worry, I'm sure that won't be too hard if you keep trying. =)

  • Well you are a grown up now so you have to do what you want to do. BUT and there is always a BUT you have to take into consideration what the potential ramifications this could have on the rest of your life, it could literally ruin everything. So is it worth the moment of lust to risk it all or could it be more than just lust. Only you know the answer to that.

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  • what are you doing touching this girl this way? She just stares down and never touches back, you say?
    Remember, your marriage and children are more important to you

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