Bro pursued me... couple months later.. nothing? WTF?

started a new job, dude gets my number from my personal file, starts texting me... and he's freaking sexy.
so over like 5 months, we text, we talk, hang out a couple times, kind of a friends with benefits thing.. which is totally cool.
I didn't want to text him too much, or calling too much, cuz I didn't want him to think it was more.
now I still want to be friends just text and talk a little bit like we used to... but he's being awkward... weird face to face conversations like “hey how's it going"..“good.. and you?"... you know the small talk crap
I'm confused... did I not put enough effort in? did he just want to smash and go.. and if so I told him in the beginning if that's it just let me know..
so there it is guys let me know what's up.. before I lose this guy's number!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Friends with benefits don't text, talk and hang out. You fucked up there and now you feel attachment and dont know what to do. The small talk and awkwardness means he found somebody else.

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    • If friends don't talk text and hang out then WTF do they do?

    • Friends and friends with benefits are different things. Fwbs fuck, that is all.

      Some people like to categorize fwbs and fuck buddies as different things. Like fwbs can hang out together and have sex, whereas fuck buddies don't do the hanging out part. Then there's booty calls. But the goal, usually, is safeguarding against ending up getting attached/in a relationship and just having uncomplicated sex. So nitpicking seems stupid to me.

What Guys Said 4

  • "so over like 5 months" holy shit! how long does a guy have to stay around to progress? I don't know maybe its him or you or the both of you, but for the love of love will one of you start making advances? hahaa :D

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    • Well we started as friends and agreed to be/stay friends so I guess if he wanted more he should've spoke the fuck up

    • damn right he should've. maybe he's just being a pussy. :D

  • Classic "I have feelings for my friends with benefits now." That's it.

    Just another reason on the list of why I'm not a fan of FWB.

    But you should confront him and ask what's up. Otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.

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  • talking, texting and hanging out for over 5 months doesn't make it sound like friends with benefits but then downgrading to just friends he probably took it as a rejection may have found someone else to

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    • If friends don't talk and text and hang out then what the fuck do they do?

    • "Friends" and "friends with benefits" are two different things you missed that in my first post

      friends with benefits would be more of sexual relationship but no feelings someone either of you call or text when your lonely , you get along as friends but have no emotional tie

      Friends or in your case friends leading towards a defined relationship would do all of what you did talk regularly , hang out in public, text all the time , start a sexually bonding relationship etc etc

      Form your original post it sounded like you started off thinking it was supposed to be friends with benefits and he started off thinking it was starting a relationship, an then you down grade him to friend status which is a rejection IMHO

      "let me know what's up.. before I lose this guy's number!!"
      Honestly it is probably ok to lose his number cause what ever he saw or took as rejection or a dislike it sounds like he lost interest and moved on

  • I think y'all need some quality "pillow talk" time

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