I used to be a model, I feel like it ruined my self esteem, and that now I only seem to attract douche bags?

I was a model for 3 years, I'm not going to go into detail because it's not relevant. I do not act snooty, but sometimes my friends say I give off an unapproachable vibe when in reality I love to talk to people, I really do. Except for guys. I do not mean all guys, but I have a really hard time talking to guys and having the conversation go anywhere in depth, it's just them complimenting me all over the place probably because they just want to sleep with me. even the guy I'm seeing right now told me the other night that I "exude sex appeal" I don't want to hear that even though I'm sure he meant it as a compliment, I want to talk about ME who I am, what I do, what my interests are but it seems to be really god damn hard.

  • when it comes to girls like you, you will always unfortunately pull douche bags
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  • all you can do is do you best to shut down a conversation that gets too much into looks
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  • just quit dating for a while, it seems like it makes you miserable
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
by the way to those of you commenting making me sound like an airhead, I'm in graduate school, I have a job, I have aspirations, I make my own money, so save your judgement for some one else, thanks.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The thing about models is that every guy would date (sleep with) a model but the number of guys that would want something serious with one is significantly lower. Some guys go for models just to brag to their friends about it. Also I'm sure you know that there is a sterotype for models being promiscuous, dumb, and stuck up. Im not saying you are but I'm sure you are aware of that stereotype and unfortunately you might get lumped into that category if you don't prove otherwise.

    Well if you're attractive a lot of guys might be too insecure to approach you. The guys that do approach you are probably confident. The guys that are confident are more likely to be players or guys looking for sex. So being an attractive girl you are just more likely to attract those types of guys.

    Also the fact that you were involved in the modeling industry might make guys hesitant to get seriously involved with you. I've never been involved in the industry but it doesn't have the best reputation. Id wonder what she did behind the scenes and what type of pictures she posed for. Like I said I don't have any experience with the industry but I don't have a very good opinion of the modeling industry based on what I've read. Like when I think model I think of a girl posing povoccatively for a creepy dude like Terry Richardson and that is kinda a turn off. So if a girl told me she was a model I'd have trouble trusting her.

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    • well, for one, I never posed for Terry Richardson and I am well aware of his reputation. I was represented by an agency that was supposed to protect me from situations like that. However, it didn't mean that on at least a weekly basis I was judged only on how tall they could make me look, how think they could make me look, and how moldable they could make me. the ability to be an individual was next to nothing. I guess maybe that comes for supermodels, but of course I never reached that status. I'm seeing some one right now who at least partially understands, but it's a shady and mysterious industry that I am glad to be out of and that I advise other people not to get into.

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    • I've heard first hand accounts that it's true, at least some of it

    • yeah he just has that creepy look to him. Also I saw a link to his old tumblr called terrysworld. He just seems like a perverted freak with a camera. It sucks that nothings been done about it tho. I guess its the money and power he has in the industry.

What Guys Said 10

  • I think it is very likely the only guys that have the nerve to approach you are douche bags looking for sex that have no respect for you as a person. A guy that actually cares about what you think is going to be less likely to approach you, especially if you give off an unapproachable vibe.

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  • The dating and mating game is tough to start with. It might be tougher for a model. Unfortunately many young men will see for your looks. Plus being a model may represent baggage for some guys. I briefly dated a drop dead gorgeous model but the whole thing just sucked... too many other guys around her with all the wrong ideas. I mainly appreciate women who are smart and can carry on a great conversation.

    Whatever you are doing now ain't working. I think you have to find a new set of males. You might stop dating for a while. Later when you want to get out and about, find and approach guys who can think with their brain and not their... I know this is easy to say and hard to do and I really sympathize. (If I were younger, we would have a great time together!) Best of luck.

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  • If a girl is way too good looking, she will indeed attract only cocky assholes that are full of themselves and just want to bang her, nothing else. A simple good lad is unlikely to approach extremely beautiful girl because he thinks she's way out of his league: probably spoiled, bitchy, gold digger, you name it.
    Exceptions do happen, but they are very rare.

    What can you do? Well, there are a few options:
    1.) Continue waiting for that "exception" to happen. May take from 1 day to... well, eternity.
    2.) If there's a guy that you know quite well personality wise and you like him, try to approach him yourself.

    Additionally, stop initiating conversations with strangers in bar/pubs. Guys that approach girls in those places are just looking for a hole to make their cocks wet, nothing else whatsoever.

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    • I only ever go out to bars with friends who are girls, and they remain usually the only ones I am willing to talk to

    • Doesn't matter, won't change the fact of a general population of bars/pubs/night clubs.

  • I know exactly what you mean.
    People tell me I look unapproachable, when in reality, I hate when people talk to me.
    On second thought, I have no idea what you're going through.

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    • Not gonna lie, you look intimidating as fuck in your profile pic.

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    • @JackKerouac77

      Bluntness also doesn't male for a vet approachable person.
      I am good person to have your back in a fight. If a GAG brawl breaks out, I've got you lol
      @Amagi82
      That's because you have that epic ass goatee.

    • Thanks! I'll try not to start an GaG fights anytime soon, not my style. Now to start working on my beard...

      *rubs chin in contemplation, but also hopeful hair follicle stimulation*

  • Develop your hobbies and passion into conversation items so that guys don't have to just keep complimenting you.

    Or steer the conversation where you want to go.

    Or just leave the conversation.

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    • trust me, I'd love to have actual conversations, but it always seems to end up about something physical and then I just get mad

  • It sounds to me like you're just looking for relationships in the wrong places. Are you picking up people at bars and clubs? Because if you are, THAT's the problem.

    What hobbies do you have? Go looking for someone with similar interests. Join a meetup or two.

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    • I work in an art gallery and i'm a graduate student

    • What sorts of guys would you actually want to date? Do you have a type?

    • I definitely have a type, I love musicians and artists

  • So here it goes odds are most the douches that you deal with approach you mostly to just sleep with you cause that the game that's the challenge. Sad but true. You want change you want different man make a change. You approach you make the move you take control. If you keep doing the same thing and getting the same result stop doing the same thing?

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  • Short answer: You should keep trying. Eventually a guy who is less superficial will come along, it's just the douchebags tend to "get the girl" more, and therefore have a huge ego and will want it to go their way.

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  • Maybe your just not capable of having conversations guy's want to talk about.

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    • that was really rude

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    • well at least I can safely say you're the exact kind of douche bag I want to avoid. bye now.

    • Keep telling yourself that, I'm sure you will do just fine thinking everyone you don't agree with and doesn't coddle you is an asshole.

  • How are you dressing and how much makeup do you put on?

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    • I dress modestly and hardly wear makeup. I've had enough makeup plastered on men face for no reason to ever feel like putting on much make up.

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    • so should I dump him?

    • That's your call. The question is, can you see yourself with this guy in the long term?

What Girls Said 4

  • Do you tell guys you meet, that your a model? When you go out or something.

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    • no, I don't because I'm not a model anymore

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    • thank you, that's good advice

    • All good. Don't sweat it

  • Maybe take a break from dating until you can find someone you can build a connection with on a deeper level, good luck :)

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  • Hey! You sound really interesting, could we talk more? I would like to know about your modeling experience because I'm interested in modeling so if you could PM me (I can't PM you because you're anonymous) that would be awesome :)

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    • I'm sorry but my modeling experience is not something I like to relive. I made some good money, and got out when I could, I do not recommend it, and I was even represented by an agency that did its best to protect me from the seedy shit, and most girls don't wind up getting signed to agencies. I really so much recommend you take a different path, I wasted 3 years of my life on that bullshit, and i don't want the same for you, you can do better.

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    • You're anonymous lol I can't message you. You can message me though.

    • ok, sure

  • You're in graduate school? :D What for if I may ask?

    #offtopic #butinterested

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