Would you date a girl you're not sexually attracted to?

The guy I'm dating likes me mentally and emotionally but has made no indication that he is physically interested in me. He hasn't even touched my arm. I'm trying to figure out whether it's just shyness or if he possibly doesn't feel attracted to me. PS I was the one who asked him out.

  • Yes
    10% (1)26% (7)22% (8)Vote
  • No
    50% (5)56% (15)54% (20)Vote
  • If she has an amazing personality
    10% (1)15% (4)14% (5)Vote
  • Other
    30% (3)3% (1)10% (4)Vote
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Updates:
Turns out he is attracted to me but doesn't feel ready for a relationship, so he would prefer to just be friends.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would definitely do that, and I already have. However, I should point out that I seem to have a condition, where the more I like and admire and respect a woman, then the more PHYSICALLY attractive she appears to me. I mean that literally, too. Its like, with every notch she (any girl) moves up the intelligence scale, she also moves up that hotness scale. In short. I will BECOME sexually attracted to a girl, provided she first stimulates my mind. So, I'm not going to miss out on what could potentially be a loving relationship, on account of something as unimportant as looks. And the inverse is true as well, with me; If Iam with a smokin-hot chic, who turns out to be a stupid-ass stuck-up bitch of a liberal, then she'll actually become uglier. Boner-killing, actually. Its like I step into a Twilight Zone episode - where I'm talking to a pretty girl, then she mentions she's a Democrat, and I turn around, only to see she has become a horrible, life-sucking succubus, requiring me to scream like a six-year-old girl and run away, terrified, complete with snot bubbles and everything. :)

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    • Ok thanks 😀
      LOL at the last bit 😜

What Guys Said 14

  • I have on blind dates but as a friend once I knew and we still would go out time to time but that stuff does not work to well she would put her head on me in the movies and so on and I just had to tell her.

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    • So if I try to initiate physical affection with him, he will be forced to admit it if he isn't attracted... I might try holding his hand.

      I just get the feeling that he is dating me in the hopes that he becomes attracted to me because I meet his technical requirements for "the perfect girlfriend".

    • I am not really sure you can either come out and just tell him which he won't tell you the deep down truth anyway or you can push for it by being very affectionate and we will see how he then acts with you

  • If a male is not attracted to a woman sexually, then he is not going to be motivated to deal with the risk of rejection that comes with approaching a female.
    So, no. If I was not attracted to a women sexually I would not be interested in her company.

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    • Yes I understand that, but what if an average looking girl asked YOU out, and you really liked her personality and intellect?

    • @Asker you pose an interesting question. I can answer only for myself. I do not know how another male might react. For me, if I was not attracted sexually to the female I would not accept, because there would be no point. By that I mean, if I did not fancy her enough to want to sleep with her the relationship would not progress to the next phase, which would make the first date pointless.
      This is a situation in which I have found myself several times during the past few years. Before I turned 30 I was possibly the most spectacularly unsuccessful male (in terms of women) in the history of the world. I sometimes went more than a year between dates. Call me Mr Friend Zone.
      About age 30 that changed, as the females outgrew their bad boy stage. As I have grown older (I am 56 now) I have found that an increasing number of females within my age range are not shy about making their interest plain and even making the first move. If I do not fancy them, I have to say no. It would be pointless.

    • Thank you heaps :)

  • No I wouldn't date because without sexual attraction there would be no future in that relationship , but I mite hang out with you if I liked your personality

    if you asked him out he mite not want to hurt your feels and said ok , or he mite be thinking of it as just friends hanging out where you are considering it dates

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  • Of course! Sexual attraction isn't the only form of attraction. If the girl is smart/interesting and fun to be around with I would love to go on a date with her. Though chances are we would probably end up being good friends and not much else.

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  • The "He hasn't even touched my arm" was kinda weird.. But to answer the main question, if I would date someone im not sexually attracted with: Totally. I'm demisexual; basically, i don't get any sexual attraction to anyone unless i get really intimate with them emotionally. But i doubt this may be the case here - i think it may be more shyness; i hope so at least. How did he react when you asked him out? What do you guys do together?

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    • Ok thanks :)
      I must admit that I asked him out by letter so I didn't see his initial reaction.
      We go on walks to the park, go to the movies, hang out at his house and sometimes have a home cooked meal together...

    • So what did he reply then, since you didn't see his reaction? Maybe you should surprise hug him or something... break the ice.

    • He said he enjoys our talks and he'd enjoy talking to me more, that he is always keen for a conversation and that he hopes I'll text him or drop round to visit him sometimes.

      (I have been texting him and visiting him since then.)

  • No I wouldn't, sexually attraction is important as important as personality, they both go hand in hand. One doesn't take precedence over the other.

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    • Ok thanks :)
      I agree, by the way

  • There could be a thought in his mind like an invasion of privacy or boundaries he doesn't want to push yet.

    For me, maybe. Depends on her personality and if she can grow on me.

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    • Ok thanks, that would make sense.

      Would it be weird to tell him it's ok? Should I just initiate something myself, like holding his hand?

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    • Thank you :)

    • You're welcome. If you enjoy my perspective and have a question, I'm here 23/7, almost. Sometimes. Yep.

  • Why friends can't simply go out together?
    And if he likes u mentaly and as a friend is half way to something else!

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    • I don't need him to make physical contact with me, I just want to know if he likes me or not; if there is any hope of us being together or if we'll only ever be friends. But I guess it's not fair to ask him to know that or reveal that at this stage.

      Ok thanks :)

  • Maybe he is a bit shy to initiate u shd initiate once n see his reaction if he co operate positively den prob solve ;)

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    • Ok thanks :)
      Is a goodbye hug a good idea?

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    • Thanks :)

  • If I'm not sexually attracted to her, I'm probably ended up friend zoning her.
    Then, what's the point of asking her out personally?

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    • I asked out a friend of mine and I'm afraid he said yes so as not to hurt my feelings.

  • Pointless.

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    • Fair enough.

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    • Its called respect. Its so weird due to its rarity.

    • Aww I'm glad he respects me :)

  • Nope. Not possible. there has to be attraction.

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  • If she was amazing with her personality yes I would. My sexuality is second to my feelings towards someone.

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  • Yes , I would use her for if i was very horny

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would say no. I couldn't date a guy, that didn't attract me.

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