It's getting ridiculous. I was always decent looking, but high functioning autism/aspergers, and being severely mistreated because in the minds of a shocking number of neuro-typicals that is what autistic people deserve for having the audacity to exist while baring that condition, which lead to social anxiety.. those things stunted my development so that I was at a giant road block from my teens into young adulthood.
See so now, I am only just catching up with most of my peers. Right now I am at the confident, out going, actually having a social life and having a mediocre job bit. It's weird, and cool, how much I've changed. I can now talk to girls properly, and I have friends that are girls.. just like I did before I was a teenager. I'm talkative, sociable, chat with people I just met. Pretty cool because I used to be a reclusive mess.
Annnywayyy, all that aside I still feel like I'm never going to even experience something so simple that so many people take for granted such as a kiss. I've danced with hot girls while drunk, but that's about the most of it.
The thing is it has been so delayed by now, has built up so much by now, that I'm kind of scared of it, because.. well for one thing I don't even know how. Like if I were to be in a position where it might actually happen, I'd "choke" I think. I'd panic or become flustered and wouldn't actually do it and then afterwards I would realise that "Ohhh damn, I should've done that". That's a part of my condition - delayed thinking (and sometimes delayed speech). Regularly I find myself realising hours later, or sometimes even days later, what I should have said or done or what someone meant.
Or does it happen subconsciously? Like if I go on a date with a girl, at the end when we're saying goodbye like what instinct takes over and it just happens? Thing is even if your answer is "yes", then I'm thinking that's the answer applying to neuro-typicals but probably is not the answer for my kind.
Most Helpful Girl
Not at all, I worked with a 30 year-old virgin who just finally began to come out of his shell and started feeling comfortable dating women.
Anyway, the first kiss between two people is always strange, even if you've kissed other people a bunch of times, the first kiss with someone new will always be somewhat nerve racking, but as soon as it happens, your bodies will stabilize and sync up and it will feel good and comfortable. And don't be nervous about the build up to the kiss either, your instincts will let you know if she wants it and when she's ready, you just have to keep your thoughts free of over thinking it and allow yourself to catch her vibes (fyi I'm no hippie).1
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