I met a guy online. How can I be certain that he isn't gonig to murder me?

I mean obviously I'll tell people I'm going to meet him. I'll meet him in a public place. But how do I know that he isn't going to kill me/kidnap me etc? Like if he seems decent and I go home with him on the second date or something...

Updates:
It's not really the public meeting I'm worried about so much as when I'm alone with him (if it gets to that point).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you take your time before you meet someone it shouldn't really be a problem.

    If you see anything suspicious about a person, any type of character that can be considered abnormal, keep waiting. Its rare one can pretend for long periods of time.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Just keep doing things in public until you get to know him. It is highly unlikely that he is a murderer. Usually girls worry about online dating guys only being interested in sex. If you can't handle it Judy stick with friends hooking you up with their mutual friends.

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  • if you are so paranoid, then don't go online to meet people. walk outside and talk to people. thats what i do. (one girl did try to kill me though lol) I'm kidding... just wanted to rock your boat a little.

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  • Meeting a guy off the Internet all i got say is good luck

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  • Normal people use the Internet too! Sure, there's a risk, just as there's a risk if some guy in real life asks you out.

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  • How can you be sure a guy you meet at a club won't murder you? How about a guy you meet at the gym? Or the grocery store?

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    • i've never met a guy at any of those places.
      Its always been from school...

    • That's not really the point. I'm just saying that those are places where people meet the opposite sex all the time, but you never think twice about it. "Am I going to be murdered?" is a question that's only ever asked about people you meet online. But billions of people use the internet. The people you meet at school, or at the gym, or at the store, or at church, or at a bar... they all use the internet. Yeah, there are creeps on the net, but they also act creepy in real life. Most people you run into online are normal people.

  • Life is full of calculated risks. How do you know that a car will stop at a red light? How do you know that a cop won't simply pull out his weapon and begin to shoot random people?

    Simply, you don't

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  • Pretty simple ask him if he's going to murder or kidnap you.. If he says yes then go with him if he says no and laughs about it then don't go with him ;)

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  • Ill give you the answer: say "hey, are you a murderer?"

    But in all seriousness just learn things about yhe guy before you meet and make sure that he sint lying. If you think that's something is sketchy about him then dont meet him.

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  • Take a friend and meet in Starbucks or something.

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  • If he looks way different from his online pic then you should be kinda concern. Just bring someone along for the ride to cover your six and can see y'all but he can't see your partner. Hope that helps

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  • you can't know you have to trust him

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  • The fact that you had to ask this question is sussed run away!!

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  • The same way you would if you met him in real life, you just have to hope he won't. The best way to go about this? Trust your instincts... if it sounds suspicious, don't do it

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  • LOL way to judge every guy you see has kidnappers and rapists.

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  • I'll tell you this, ALWAYS trust your gut feeling, if you feel in your mind that something isn't right or don't feel comfortable don't do it!

    Let me tell you a short story about what happened to me.

    A few years ago my brother and I would buy and sell antiques, fun little business we had. One day I got in contact with one man (a much older man) who told me he had a ton of stuff to sell that I'd be interested in. So I called him, set up a time to see what he had and told him I'd be there with my brother shortly. He immediately told me to go by myself and not to bother my brother, I didn't say "ok" or anything but just told him I was on my way. On the drive there I had a really bad, uneasy feeling but nevertheless I drove to his house.

    From the outside his property was filled to the brim with vintage and antique mementos, without a doubt a sight to see. Seeing what I saw I was a bit satisfied but the overall atmosphere was a bit eerie. My brother and I felt a little weird while still parked in the car but we stepped out not thinking twice about it. So what happened next? I knocked his door and nobody answered until suddenly we just heard a voice saying "come on in". Being the older brother I opened the door stepped inside, the room was dark, the windows were all boarded up and I saw this man, sitting on a chair beside his table with pajamas on (keep in mind this was happening in the afternoon) and as soon as he saw my brother next to me he started screaming telling me he told me to come by myself. I told him it was brother and he wouldn't be going anywhere. The man was very angry, I didn't know if he had a gun, or maybe if someone else was in the house so to diminish the situation I told him I'd come back later alone but I never did.

    Long story I know, I tend to write a lot but the point is trust your instinct, I learned from not trusting mine, I made a mistake but don't do something you may regret forever.

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  • How can you tell if anyone is going to murder you? You can't. You just roll the dice.

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  • You don't know, but statistically most people aren't murders. You can't live life without risk...

    "A man once told me that when you step out of your door in the morning, you're already in trouble. The only question is, are you on top of that trouble or not?" - 'Easy' Rawlins

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What Girls Said 17

  • Three years ago, a man from Egypt found me on FB and we had started a whirlwind romance. After getting to kno whim better on Skype, I then flew odff to th emagical land of Cairo, where----I stayed 30 days with him and his family. Things went so well that once home, I returned to him, tying the knot at the Ministry of Justice... I resided there for awhile, learning how to be a Muslin's wife.
    I never left American soil until I was absolutely Positive, sweetie, I could trus thim. I went over to the other side of God's creation and Never in a million years would I have, if Not been educated and as wise as I am as to Who I was with and to be able to 'Trust' him alone.
    If you are not sure about anything, have even the slightest fear, dear, hold off on meeting with him until you are sure you know who he really is. Yes, if you want, public is always good, smart, and even if you meet up for a cup of Joe, no one says you have to be alone with him the First Nite with him o rany other To, Dick or Harry.
    Use your own discretion, let your head rule your heart and Any good gut instinct..
    Good luck.. xx

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  • As an active online dater, I'm sorry to say she really does raise a good point. There are a few things you can do to try to stay safe.
    *never be without your cell phone
    *don't let him pick you up or drive you in his car until you feel comfortable. Always drive separately; even if you take the night elsewhere, follow him in the car
    *let your friends know who you are meeting and where. If the situation changes, let your friends know that as well.
    * Send a text to a friend at a certain pre-arranged time.
    *follow your gut instinct. Always. If at any point you feel uneasy, just make your excuses and end the date. TRUST YOUR GUT.

    This applies really for any situation where couples are meeting for the first time. You don't know. If it was that easy to pick the psychos out Ted Bundy would have had a boring life as a serial killer. You can't say "it won't happen to me" when thousands of victims, male and female, thought the same.

    Don't let it taint a great date, but always be aware if your surroundings.

    Oh this is obvious: dont get drunk.

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  • Just don't agree to go to his place on the first date. Simples.

    I met my boyfriend through online dating and went to his on the first date. He made me a cup of tea and we played some vidya, then he escorted me to my taxi when it was time to go home.

    Get to know him first before agreeing to meet him in more private areas.

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  • Tell your friends where you are going, take them with you but when you get there ask them to disperse

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  • I've only met one guy in person from online, he was from Facebook. I wasn't dumb I took my sister with me, he was who he said he was and apparently he thought our meet and greet was a date. lol I wouldn't go alone if I were you unless you really think he is being legit. Be careful people online can be very deceiving or legit.

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  • Don't go home with him until you have no doubts about him. Like how you would date a person you met any other way.

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    • umm. I've met people by going home with them right away though.. I'm a little strange.

    • Then carry pepper spray and hope for the best. Most people are not murderers so you have that working for you. Lol

  • Well, then it's the same as meeting anyone anywhere, right? Once you meet him (in a public place) and see that he is who he says he is, it's just like meeting a guy at Starbucks. You just kinda hope he won't hurt you. I would put off being alone with any guy you just met until you build up some trust :)

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  • You can never know for sure until you get to know him for a while. I would go on a few dates before being with him alone

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  • You can't be sure lol

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  • Have a friend at the same place keeping watch in an unnoticeable area if you don't feel comfortable :) or you could always request to see him in public until you feel comfortable

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  • Statistics show most people are murdered by family members or someone close to them, as opposed to strangers, or someone they just met, if you feel that concerned, dont be alone with him until you get to know more about him

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  • There were news about a guy who met a girl on tinder, long story short, he's body was found on several garbage bags.

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  • well meet many times in public places try to get to know him better then go to places that are still public but less crowded and be very attentive to his behaviour.

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  • Carry a pepper spray :P

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  • I tell by the way they message you or talk on the phone. Nothing has happened to me yet.

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  • Start dating him. You can also meet someone in real life, date them, and then they murder you. You just gotta take the change..

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  • How can you be certain anyone in your life isn't going to murder you? I'm sure the dead child of Diane Downs thought her mom would never have killed her :o The Trick is never meet in a secluded place and take someone with you that has a concealed carry license.

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    • "take someone with you that has a concealed carry license"
      I might be cautious but i'm not insane...

    • That's what I do ^^ People get robbed and raped everyday. Insane but safe X) Also, if you are worried about being alone with him, don't be. Get to know him first. If he throws up any red flags, leave him to play with himself.

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