Should I try "just to see?" Is this the right thing to do?

10 years ago, I witnessed a conversation that changed my view on dating. I saw a girl receive a gift from her significant other, yet she seemed unhappy. The father was beside her and said, "what's the matter. at least you got a gift, didn't you?" But the girl responded in a way that made the relationship sound distant, as if there was no fire or passion. She said she just wanted to see what it was like to date someone. The father said he'd made a mistake in raising her, he should have pushed her to date more when she was younger.

I told myself then that I'd never be like that girl. I'd never just date someone "to see what it was like." I'd date them because there was a mutual attraction between us. That was 10 years ago. and I haven't met a single person to fit that criteria, or the timing and circumstances were never right.

I'm mid twenties and have never dated. I am starting to think I need to try harder in dating, but I would only be motivated to do so "just to see what it's like," because I don't want to face the possibility of regret some day. At the same time, I'll be like that girl in paragraph one.

Should I try "just to see?" Is that the right thing to do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I did a "just try and see" relationship myself. For the same reason as the girl did, for the same reason you are considering it.

    Its not the right thing to do, especially if the other person really like you. Its kinda mean to them, they really like you and you are just 'tolerating' them to see what a relationship is like, you have the potential of hurting them really badly.

    That being said, I did a relationship like that. I don't regret it.

    It gave me a lot of experience and I learned 'how to be in a relationship' with someone. In a sense it was easier, you get to learn and try without much pressure. I mean, if you mess up, whats the harm? You don't really like him that much, right? He's just a project for you to practice on, for you to see what its like. You must like him a little, you must be comfortable with him, but remember he is a just try and see, he's just a project, you don't "love" him.

    You can't let it go on too long, that will only hurt him more. And think about yourself, after you've gained the experience, and know what its like, you'll want the passion of a true relationship, the project will start to seem dull. That's when its time to move on, don't drag it out any longer.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I've had the same conversation with my psychiatrist and he said if your going to meet someone you really don't have to do anything that it will just happen. You can't make someone love you but you can make yourself loveable and the rest is up to the other person

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    • Some people might be lucky enough to sit back and let life deliver them dates on a silver platter... But there will always be those people who need to work a little harder. Not to be loved or force love per se, but to be more "open" to the possibility of it. Is that wrong?

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    • Then I will be single till the day I die.

    • It may seem that way but you won't. Trust me and don't settle

What Girls Said 1

  • yes. u definitely should and you'll be surprised by what you find out. My most recent ex was 24 before he had his first girlfriend (me) and honestly even though he was attracted to me I think he dated " just to see what this whole boyfriend/ girlfriend thing was about." nevertheless we dated for a year n a half, deeply love each other and it was an eye opening experience on both ends.

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