I kissed someone I work with

[Anonymous]

this guy I work with really likes me; told me he likes the way my hair smells; respects me; I'm fun... loads

we went out for somebodies do after work the other night, and ended up kissing, we have had an incident like this in the past but it was just a very quick kiss and never mentioned.

this time, I stayed round his house, he told me he wants me but can't give up on his girlfriend ( I think his girlfriend has a health issue).

when I stayed round hs house I told him I'm not sleeping with him or anything like that cos I'm not a slag and his got a gf, he was like I know I respect that bla blah. we stayed in the same bed, and cuddled and kissed at max. he drove me the whole way home the next day (like an hour drive there, and an hour back!)

how much do you think he likes me?! wot do I do...

i sit next to him at work btw... :S wot does all these mean I'm confused on how I should feel!?

[l-hedoniste]

You know how much he likes you; you two are hot for each other, and have been for some time. You already know how you feel; you like him. So, neither of those were your real question.

The question here is: what should you do about it? Depends. First, the job. If it doesn't work out, can he still be professional? Can you? Can people mind their own business there? Can you tough it out if they don't?

The girlfriend, on the other hand, is a non-issue. Maybe his role in life is to be his girl's nurse, but at least let him know he has other options. You stay with people because you're happy, not because they're sick. Remind him of this.

[Asker]

You do raise a good point.

to say nothing else can happen or will happen as he has a girlfriend, I don't regret wt happend but I'm not willing to get involved anymore. if he is staying with her then his staying with her, but whatever is wrong with her he has his own life to live and he must make his own decisions. but I'm not willing to get involved whilst he is with her and we are mates, and its up to him what he does. its not an ultimatium cos its up to him lol cos I'm not gunna get played!

[l-hedoniste]

Don't back down too quickly; if you really want a man, it's okay to fight for him.

[Asker]

Ok I will see how he treats me tomorrow then! I'm actually dreading it now lol!!!

aint seen him since then... x

[wanacot]

It's ok to kiss and cuddle someone with a gf, just not sleep with them? Would you feel it's ok if your boyfriend kissed and cuddled another girl?

Stay away from this guy. 1) He's got a girlfriend. He needs to sort out whether he wants to be with her or not, but that's his issue to deal with. 2) He's a coworker...that sits right beside you. This is only going to lead to trouble (as most liaisons at work do). Either act like nothing happened, instruct him that nothing else can happen between you two or talk to your boss about moving. The last thing you need is things getting awkward at your job.

[Asker]

I know I wouldn't like it, I feel bad etc like proper bad!!! I was abit drunki know that means nothing but seemed a good idea at the time.

i tihnk I need to speak to him don't I about it all?! and b like shouldnt have happened!

i feel proper bad!

Nah can't move desks no chance of that. I guess this happeend cos I'm in a small team and we spend a lot of time together.

your wise :) x

[wanacot]

Yes, talking to him about it is the smart thing to do. Make sure you make yourself clear and don't leave any room for misinterpretation.

If you can't help yourself after you've been drinking then the simple solution is to avoid the situation in the future. Either don't hang out with him or don't drink when you're hanging out.

[Asker]

Ok thank you for your help! I will aim to sort this out tomorow rather than leave it in the air!

x