FWB: guys seem to think this is a good idea, yet?

FWB: guys seem to think this is a good idea, yet when they realize the girl they made into their common whore might be more than just a toy they get upset when she plays out the character that he told her he wanted. Ironically it's women that get a bad rap for not knowing what they want or changing their mind all the time. What gives? Where are all the good guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was never into this whole friends with benefits concept.

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    • Me either, just didn't feel right, I never knew how to respond to the relationship we had. I didn't understand where the boundaries were or what to do with the naturally occurring emotions. I think friends with benefits mentality is fake and I need something real

    • I completely agree with you.

What Guys Said 4

  • All the good guys are securely married to a good girl, and waaaaay out of your reach by your age. During the younger ages they're busy NOT having sex, while trying to get a nice girl. Ironically they get less sex, but seem to be a lot better at making things last.

    So truth be told; at your age the good guys are gone.

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    • wow, thanks for your honesty? ummm, last time I checked my age didn't dictate whether I deserved to be respected in a relationship

    • No, but it does dictate wether those actually respecting you or not have settled down. THAT is what i meant with my statement.
      Sure, if whey were arround they would've respected you, but they're not arround. They're married and taken, sadly leaving those who doesn't respect a girl left. And i do agree that you should be respected, but seeing as some guys simply won't respect you, you simply have to adapt to that.
      Because that's life

  • I don't know what you're talking about. You seem to have a skewed perspective of relationships. Girls aren't "made into common whores" in a FWB. They are making a conscious decision to enter into that type of relationship. I think women are smart enough to make up their minds.

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    • I am asked often what I want from a relationship and if I indicate with a person I just met that I am looking to get to know them better to see where things go. Next question FWB? If I say I'm not interested in it, the conversation is over... so again, why is it so important for men to use women for sex but expect that her self esteem won't be affected or better yet the woman who was interested to start with was already there.

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    • I guess I can't speak for all women but I would like to think that most women enjoy and like sex just as much as men do, but honestly a woman who goes out just to get sex, she is labeled by men as a whore, so I guess you lost me on the argument for "use when women are doing it to" but again the point of the question wasn't to discuss semantics but rather a general question for men to engage in to help me understand what type of a man in all his mystified logic finds friends with benefits to be the solution to modern day dating. If I were to get involved 1st is his mentality that this is more just not right now as i get to know you better without investing too much or you are a temp to fill in until something more permanent comes along?

    • IF its the latter rather than the 1st then what motivation would a woman with any self respect have for entering into being a temp when they are looking for permanent.. and if its the 1st rather than the latter is the expectation that a man will change the character of this woman when he sees her more than just a temp in his world, now of course I find it interesting so many guys who are heart-broken when they make that woman his world and she then sleeps with his friends. Advice you should find a nice girl doesn't seem appealing, so cannot these geniuses not see the ultimate outcome?

  • Umm... I think it goes both ways. Some does caught feelings but it's not always the guy. Expand you circle, get out there! I'm sure you'll find someone for you but before that, HI! Nice to meet you lol

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    • Hi! Nice to meet you as well! I don't know why I would trip over these guys, I just want to meet someone that I can get past the b. s. so I can have a healthy relationship... too much to ask it seems

    • Yeah but we always have to suffer before we get what we want and the hard it is the better the outcome. You're young and a treasure, just wait a little long for your Will Turner to show up (yeah, it's a pirates of the carribbean reference)

  • Are you asking about guys who have an friends with benefits and decide they want a proper relationship with her?

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    • Yea, I am. I guess once you get past being about 24 and stop running into a brick wall hoping for the best, people generally look at the opposite sex in terms of what sort or another. For instance when I meet a guy I automatically size him up, will he fit in with my family, my friends, can I have a conversation with him? If all I can see is having sex with him, we aren't friends. There is no potential for anything, so I would move on. Do men look at women as potential partners when they start having sex with them or do they just think I am getting laid, without considering if they will have sex ever again? Men are suppose to be the logical thinkers of our society, I would think it would be a consideration...

    • I can only speak for myself, but I am dating with finding a proper girlfriend in mind. That I'm having flings and FWBs along the way is part of the fun, but I do want to find someone long term and so it is something I consider.

      (you only speak for yourself too, maybe you're dating the wrong type of guys if this is the only sort of arrangement you're being offered?)

What Girls Said 2

  • friends with benefits is fun for guys, and girls too up until the time you catch feelings. but since guys are rarely the ones catching feelings it doesn't matter to them. by that time they'll probably have switched you out with a new girl anyway, continuing the cycle. if the girl chooses to become a friends with benefits then she has to accept the fact that sex is all it is. you can't change the rules in the middle of the game. so if u catch feelings that's your problem, not his. it doesn't matter if her self esteem is effected because you're just there for sex anyway. if you want a guy to care about your feelings wait till u get a boyfriend

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  • I agree with it the sex felt right but romance didn't so we became friends with benefits

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