Why are guys just not that interested in me?

heya so im an 18 year old girl in her freshmen year of college whose never had a boyfriend and guys just dont seem interested. people are always saying im naturally pretty due to the fact i don't wear a lot of makeup etc. i am pretty active and fit and enjoy ski and snowboarding and other cool outdoor activities. i work in Hollister so i know i can't be that unattractive but still i get no attention. im doing a fairly geeky maths based course but its not like people can tell that by looking at me. im pretty into partying and clubbing and have been since i was 16 (sneaking in etc) and have been to a few festivals and been to the infamous Magaluf but still have only had casual hookups and never gone further than kissing. my friends all say guys are totally 'in to me' and they always fancy me but i never get any attention. so whats happening? any advice guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • when you say 'a lot of makeup' do you mean none, or literally some? no girl, no matter how hot she is without makeup, looks worse off with a decent amount of makeup to highlight their features. When people say that to you, are they hinting for you to wear more? Not garishly more, but just 'more'. clothes also help that initial hook for a guy, but after that it's also conversation. are you easy to talk to from a guy's point of view, do you give and take in conversation, joke, smile, give signals by 'inadvertent' touches etc. are you maybe missing the guys' signals?

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    • heya so i mean i literally wear none in everyday situations. If im going out then ill put on a bit of mascara but never that much. im not sure, sometimes they will assume im already wearing foundation but since i normally don't wear then theyre just used to it and are more likely to make a comment when i am actually wearing makeup. its always really hard to tell, i have guy friends since none of my friends who are girls like doing the same outdoors sports as me and there always tends to be more guys doing them. people say i smile all the time so i guess in that respect maybe? but maybe i just have really bad chat and that impacts it?

    • Women can very easily overdo make-up. This said, some guys like more, others less. Too much is more likely to be a deal breaker than too little.

What Guys Said 12

  • Well, how do you act when guys talk to you? Do you interact or is it more of a passive thing for you.
    Do you start conversations with guys or do you expect them to start talking.
    see the whole getting attention a two way kind of a thing, sometimes it comes to you, most of the time you've got to grab it.
    But try to be classy, or you'll end up with some ed hardy wearing date rapist.

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  • You gotta learn to make the first move. I have a long distance girl friend, she is shy, never had a boyfriend before and.. We have an issue with the sexual part of the relationship. When you start dating someone make shure to know what perspective that person haves about sex and reach to an agreement if it´s posible, otherwise.. Here comes discussion 1,2,3,4...

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  • Well if it helps- I'm interested in you :D

    I think confidence is very important, people who aren't confident tend to be less noticed. Make sure you maintain good body language. Talk and walk confidently and you'll be choosing between dudes in no time.

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    • i wouldn't say i was confident but i also wouldn't say i wasn't confident if you get what i mean? like i dont act cocky or arrogant (at least i hope i dont!). but since I've not really been that fussed about how i looked, hence how i can't really be bothered actually putting on makeup, then i would always take my confidence from who i as with and how comforatble i was feeling. and since i feel that guys now expect that you know what you're doing in that department it makes it really difficult to actually be confident when you approach them.

  • Look, just start approaching guys you like for dates. Don't wait for them to knock on your door, you knock on theirs.

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  • Maybe you don't notice it when guys are trying to get in contact with you? ;) Try to get flirty with the guys, that might increase the changes of stumbling upon the right guy!
    oh and maybe you appear very hard to get, like, being really pretty and only being seen hanging around with girls so guys think they won't have a change? :P i am in the same situation so i know what you mean, but i am just really bad at hanging out with girls, makes me nervous and i start to ramble awkward things. :P

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  • Well I'm not really a partier but it sounds like I want to date you!! Sometimes you gotta make the first move though. We like to be pursued too!! :)

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  • What's your personality like? I don't really see anything wrong with what you mentioned so far..

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  • Haha get over yourself, that's the first step.

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  • Seriously get a strapon and tell him you are going to knock on his back door and make him your bitch. Guys like strong sexy girls with short skirts, high heels, stockings, but full panties like a school girl

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  • How can guys "always fancy" you, but you "never get any attention"? What happened at the end of the kissing?

    If you want things to go further than they are (than a glance, than a kiss), you have to give some sign that you're looking for that. If men always acted without receiving signals they'd all be in jail.

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    • i always seem to make it really awkward ad thats the end of that tbh.

    • If you want to develop a relationship with someone, and you get to the kissing stage, firstly ensure that you've given him a compliment. If that (and the kissing) hasn't triggered something in him, you could try asking for their number (or become Facebook friends). This may seem forward, but if he's not taking a step like that, you'll have to.

  • You could be sending off bad vibes, not sending good looks out to people, not good at seeing when a guy likes you or a combination of all.

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    • how to tell when a guy likes you?

    • Nervous, blushes, talks to you a lot, smiles, touches you or moves close to you often.

  • They peobably assume you already are taken and leave it at that

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What Girls Said 4

  • I was the same as you, then first year of university guys were all over me, and it wasn't because of my personality, so just give it time because they will come, but for most they're intentions will be sketchy. You also have to put yourself out there, how can u expect to meet a guy if u only keep to yourself and do social activities? Dont expect them to come to you, you have to meet them half way.

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    • *how can u expect to meet a guy if you only keep to yourself? And do social activities, dont expect them to come to you

    • And clubbing, or places where people do things that they won't remember the next day, are not the social activites i mean haha join a club, or a study group, places where people can get to know you, not just expect to hook up with you

    • ok so its best to just chill out, not let it bother me and everything will work out in the end? yeah good idea! i don't know at school i was just the girl everyone knew and was friends with as i got on well with a lot of people but i guess since they didn't know me that well that was probably why then?

  • Just because you are into partying and clubbing does not deem you as attractive, wearing makeup and hooking up does not automatically deem you as "dating material" . I would first start with dressing and acting classy yet flirty and just get to know guys! Some guys only want sex and that is what you are going to encounter a lot in freshmen year. So just play it cool, get to know them and you will fine a decent guy.

    Don't let them use you. I am a college senior I would know..

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  • Because guys are immature and stupid. They go for ugly girls, because they need to man up to approach someone more attractive. Or your body language could be subconsciously putting them off too

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  • They probably assume that you're taken or you are not very friendly towards them. What's your personality like?

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