I need dating advice?

Hey guys! So I refuse to ever let my boyfriend pay for anything. Even dates he takes me on. It just makes me feel horrible when people spend money on me or go out of their way to help me. Is this something I need to get over, or should I just stick with what I'm comfortable with?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends. On one hand, you should never change who you are for someone else. But on the other hand, you shouldn't ignore it when you're doing something that make your significant other uncomfortable. Its important that you keep your independence, but is that good feeling worth the bad feeling your guy has? As a guy, I can say it is really, really important, (to a good / descent man), to feel like a good provider. It's emasculating when we don't feel like we're in that roll. We don't have to pay for every purchase, but we have to feel like we could - And even if we KNOW we CAN support you if we had to, its still not enough, knowing it won't help us feeling it. Especially if you're going to have a long term relationship, one of you has to ease up on your situation. Maybe he is asking his friends how to deal with you paying for yourself all the time, (or maybe he should).

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What Guys Said 5

  • Is it ego? It can't be just from your horror of seeing someone choose to do nice things for someone they care about.

    Extremes aren't good imo.

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  • Your a pretty gal, seems you may have trouble with adorability... you can't accept being worshipped much. Practice letting guys shower you with good things. You deserve lots of pleasure. Just relax and enjoy the attention and love being showered on you.

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  • Why not take turns paying for meals? That way nobody's ego gets hurt and we all live happily ever after.

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  • Stick with what you're comfortable with. The majority of dudes are going to want something in return so you are keeping a level playing field. Respect!

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  • Stick with what feels right

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What Girls Said 2

  • honestly i use to be just like you but after talking to my guy friends they said that when a guy does that he is trying to show you that he values you. When you do that you are telling them they don't have to do nice things for you and you don't think you are worth enough to have a guy treat you special. They will gradually stop trying to do nice things for you after that.

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  • I say you can pitch in every now and then or offer to pay for the snacks if he pays for the movie tickets etc you offering makes him know that you aren't dating him for his money and stuff.. but guys like paying and the more effort he pits in you the more ihe will invest in the long run.. so don't worry so much guys like paying for their girl but You offering is also nice ;)

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