Why is the guy I was dating suddenly ignoring me?

I was dating this guy a couple of weeks ago- we had 4 magical dates, he was a complete gentleman, we got on very well, had a lot in common and extremely attracted to one another. On 4th date I went back to his after the art show, I didn't sleep with him, just made out. I didn't feel ready. FYI He's been seperated a year from his wife that left him. He is 35, I'm 27.

So when I was at his place, I noticed there were two bikes. I asked why he had two bikes and he said it was his ex girlfriends which took me by surprise. I didn't realise he has a girlfriend after his wife.

I asked whether there was a reason to why he is still married if he has no plans to get back with his wife and he got really angry and said he's not taking her back and that it takes two years to file for a divorce. He hasn't started the proceedings, I was just curious as I don't want to get hurt and know some people don't get divorced for the reason that they are waiting for their other half to come back?

I apologised for making him feel uneasy but it had been on my mind. We carried on kissing, then I shortly left to get a cab home, he messaged to ask if I got home ok and that he had a lovely time.

4days later I hear nothing from him so I message him to ask how his week is going. He took a further four days to reply and said that although he massively likes me, on reflection he's been thinking that I have too many concerns with his past relationships for things to work out properly. He asked if I wanted to talk through and I messaged him asking to call me. He called me the following evening and we spoke for 45mins, it was initially awkward and I apologised for asking the questions that I did. I didn't mean to offend him in anyway. He eventually said despite everything he would like to see me again. We laughed and joked and he said he really liked me.
He tried to see up a 5th date following week but it didn't happen. I have since then sent him a message asking how he is which he ignored


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like it's nothing to do with you. Based on his reactions he still has issues to work out. He's married and has already got an ex gf, don't get into that mess. Leave it alone. You asked reasonable questions and he got defensive because of his issues. Move on.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry to be the one to bring you bad news but he was just using you to get away from his reality. You are an awesome woman and deserve a man that can treat you how your worth, a million bucks! Move on and start dating new people and watch the snake crawl back to you at which point you will realize that he's not worth your precious time:)

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What Girls Said 4

  • He sounds like he has too many issues left over from his marriage and 'ex-girlfriend'.

    If a guy can't handle telling you about his past then he's not over it.

    If I were you I'd leave it alone. Don't put yourself into the mess.

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  • send him a text ask him about you 2 better then waiting..

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  • Forget him. He's childish. He's in his 30's and acts like he is 12. Pitiful.

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  • sorry to be so delusional, but looks like he was just looking for a casual rebound relationship, exactly not to think about his exs.. the fact you started asking so many questions, made him think 'uh this is too much work', so he just backed off but left the conveniency door open, just in case he runs out of options in the dating world. technically he's still married, so don't waste your time on this one, move on

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