Is my friend in denial about loving me?

My friend and i startes dating while we were in the military. He made it clear that he wasn't ready for love or a relationship so we just casually dated. I fell deeply in love with that man. But he insisted he just wasn't ready... but i waited for what seemed like forever until i just couldnt do it anymore. Its the most horrible pain in the world not being able to have someone you love so much. So i had to let go and i moved on. Eventually when i got into a relationship, surprisingly he got very upset and hurt about it. He would not talk to me he accused me of never truly loving him which hurt my heart. But he would always say he would not let himself fall in love and he is just not ready so i had to move on i cannot wait forever i want to be loved too. Eventually our friendship was back on track. But strangely. He only calls when he is drunk and he always says things like, "We had something that no one can ever take away from us" or how much he missed me. But sober he sung a different tune. How he just isn't ready for love and will not let his heart succumb to it. Which i think sounds stupid to be honest. Im just curious... is he in denial? And why would he be if he said he wasn't ready anyway? Why does he only call me when he's drunk. he's my best guy friend so im just curious. Im happily taken by another man so this is uncomfortable.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe he is in denial. It seems like he isn't ready but ready at the same time. Possibly, he's ready for a relationship but not ready to be loved by someone and being scared because of it or something similar.
    When he's drunk, he could be not completely drunk. He could ring you and say those things to you and being drunk could be an excuse.

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What Guys Said 1

  • This kind of happened to a girl who went to my school 2 years ago. She had a friend who turned into a boyfriend and long story short she got pregnant and had a daughter but by then he had bolted. And know he keeps calling saying the same things and plus he wants to be in the babies life. But he is just a drunk that calls her when he is depressed and lonely. And eventually changed her number. So, I don't know if it is good or bad news. But I think you should do your best to ignore it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Awww, I think he does love you- especially now he can't have you. You don't know what you've got til it's gone.

    I wouldn't even know what to do in that situation. Make clear that the drunk calls must stop.

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