Is me being "too innocent" really an excuse not to want to date me?

What's up guys!^-^ Throughout my life, I've always had almost everyone tell me at least once that I'm innocent. Which makes me really happyy!=) Since... I believe that's a good thing? o: However, what I've noticed lately is that boys will think that I'm cute and say something like "aww she's so cute, she's like a baby butterfly!" But theyd never like me as more than a friend! o: I've recently come to the realization that I am like everyone's little sister! I have this bestfriend and I always tell her about my crushes, but they guys I like always like someone else :( My friends would always tell me things like "no, its not that you're unattarctive, its just that you're too innocent." Or "aww no, its just that you're really cute and childlike and like a little girl!" but i dont understand... are those things really an excuse for boys not to like me? :'( They tell me Im really nice and like me as a friend, so thats a good thing! :) Umm, I guess my question is... is someone being innocent really an excuse not to like someone? u_u Do you... think... Ill be alone... forever? ;_;Thaaank you! :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • a fear of being accused of pedophilia - you are like a younger sister, and somewhere deep inside those people, they are scared that if they hurt you or make you cry, someone's gonna beat them up and kick them in the balls. kinda like how guys would usually not consider liking their best friend's younger sister because if they hurt her, their friend would probably beat them up. i think that's the problem. how much under 18 are you? like 16 or 17, or even younger? are you tiny as well? do you have a baby face? all these things put together make you seem like an innocent little girl. are you slow when it comes to understanding dirty jokes? that might be part of the reason as well. i get you though. everyone still thinks i'm innocent and that i am 12 when i am 18! maybe you should try to show them your intelligence (if you are an intellectual) to make them understand that you are not just a kid sister kind of girl :)

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    • Oh, I am tall, actually o: With me, its not really about the looks and I dont look like a little girl, either :) However, I have an extremely young voice and they are referring mostly to my personality, overall demenour, and the way I am in overall, not the way I look or am physically! o: Oh, I dont understand dirty jokes much, either ;_; Oh, but thaaaank you so much for your answer, it was well thought of and so helpful!=)

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    • Thank you!=)

    • you're welcome :)

What Guys Said 10

  • I actually use to get this a lot myself and it would always annoy me. My exfiance actually didn't want to sleep with me for ages because of it. I never understood it until I got older and started to date younger women. But yes it can be. It is very intimidating to date someone who is really innocent. Its sucks because thats my type lol, but it freaks me. Plus some guys have other douchy-er reasons why they dislike. But it can be kind of scary, not that its a good excuse and I always feel bad for thinking it and try to give them a chance anyway. The best bet is to just show them you are not innocent, if you have something to say on a topic say it. A lot of innocent people get shy on certain topics you just have to buck that and pitch in your thoughts. I didn't drink in high school personal choice, but when my friends talked about the wild party they went to I would still pitch in my thoughts. OMG that sounds funny, did so and so get wasted, what time did you get in. Stuff like that it helped show that even if I was not doing these things I wasn''t some sheltered nun it was a personal choice.

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  • It will depend a bit on the guy, and what he is looking for. It definitely is not a case of 'you will be alone forever', so don't worry about that.

    Guys just looking to get laid will look at 'innocence' as a barrier to entry. For them it is a sign that it will take too long to get what they want. So that would stop them from asking you out. As guys get more mature, or if you happen to find a young one that is actually looking for something more long term or more serious, then there will be less of a rush and the time commitment required to break the seal becomes much less of a problem.

    For a lot of guys the innocence will be a positive trait. Just not for guys looking for fast access to physical intimacy.

    Basically, if a guy won't date you because you are too innocent, it is a sign that you don't want to be dating him anyways, because he is interested in you for physical reasons and not personal reasons.

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  • Too innocent usually means that you don't look like you would be ready for sex or that if you were that you would be looking for a serious relationship and they would not be. There is nothing wrong with them wanting sex and there is nothing wrong with you not wanting it.

    The fact that you are a sophomore does not mean anything. You don't automatically start wanting sex when you turn 18. Our bodies generally devolve sexual desires when we hit puberty.

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  • Age : (Under 18) seems a good excuse indeed.

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    • But all those other boys are my age! o:

    • Then i don't think you have to regret not being pursued by them. :D Their most probable idea is "too cute to bump & dump." I too met girls I considered 'too cute' when I was a teenager with raging hormones.

  • Its really hard to think you'd have a sexual future with someone who looks and acts prepubescent in disposition. Even when I was in junior high I never really jived well with girls who acted more girlish than womanish. Most men want to have sex with the women they date, so if a woman looks too cute and are too nice all the time its hard to think that in the end as a man you're going to be on the same page in this respect.

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  • Lol ur friend is silly. What make her possibly think that ur innocent scare us away? Infact i LUV innocent cuties and they are the only ones that im after. I guess they alrdy have sumone in mind before u came along. Ur just late to the show. I'd marry u if u have ur innocence with u ;P

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  • This is code for 'don't look like you'd be down for immediate kinky sex'

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  • It is not an excuse not to date you and being cute is a good trait (I'm a sucker for aww faces). I think what happens is that these guys so far want to get laid and it may take time to get there with you (which is admirable) so they pass. But there's always someone willing to be patient ;)

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  • If you're too innocent then its a turn off for me. I don't want a downright ratchet girl, but at the same time if she's too girly I just can't stand it.

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  • i rarely read details but no. he just doenst find you attractive enough

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What Girls Said 5

  • In my experience guys who behave like this are most often after sex rather than an actual relationship

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  • no, i am often told i am/look/seem innocent but no one says i'm too innocent to date. i like innocent boys too.

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  • I'm 21 and I was rejected a while back by a guy in his mid 20s because of my "inexperience"

    So yes
    It's a problem if you're older

    But you're under 18 so nah

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  • since you're under 18, i think its ok. guys sometimes like girls that are less innocent, but i think it depends on the guy

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  • No. because in my opinion, anyone can be changed out of being 'innocent'. i see no exscuse

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