Has anyone here made the decision to date their clcsest friend and regret it?

Im interested in dating a close friend. All in all, I want him, voraciously. ah. and he shows signs of liking me- hugging me every time we see each other, saying he wants to touch me, take me skiing or going places together, saying he'd want to help me in things.
Has anyone been able to retain friendship after? or it's pretty much done when you make the decision? the person I'm interested in is my opposite in terms of traits.


Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching perspective, here's how it generally goes.

    When two friends try and date, if they break up it'll be the woman that generally loses in the end. Why? Because in the relationship trifecta, women are emotional, psychological, and physical: in that order. In this, they already have an emotional attachment with their friend and now that will grow. Then, from a psychological perspective, those things they know about their friend that are currently surface thoughts will suddenly have a lot more meaning. And, they'll learn even more as they go along. Things that were said before don't require as much context. Things you didn't know before will come out and you'll look at them differently. Lastly, once you go there physically, your already existing emotional attachment will increase ten-fold. When you date a friend, you're dating someone that you had a buffer with. When that buffer is gone (emotional, psychological and physical) you can't put it back up again. Imaging going out with him (as a friend, after the break-up) and having the same pre-dating experiences but knowing exactly what they mean now? Not fun.

    • he has shown that he likes me and is protective of me; I've told him myself if he continues to help me, I am growing more stronger feelings for him. I don't doubt we want each other but we're both not wanting to lose that friendship or buffer you call which is an excellent term for what I was thinking.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Oh, most definitely. She and I are now always pressured by our friends to get back together, even though we don't like each other like that and we're just friends. Also she's currently angry with me and I have a girlfriend.


What Girls Said 1

  • Once you fall in love there's no going back to being just friend. I've experienced this with my childhood friend and it did not work out, we still see each other often cause we are neighbors and he's a good friend of my brother and cousins but until now it feels awkward seeing him.