He updated his profile and I'm curious to know if it's a red flag?

I've met this guy on an online dating site. We've been dating for about a month and I see this guy at least once a week. He initiates text messaging, sets up dates several days in advanced, and we even cuddled when I came over his place (he cooked me dinner).

I didn't see him at all this passed week (but he did ask me if I was near his work since he was going on for lunch). All seems great and we have been going on a slow pace with our dating. I was a bit disappointed since he didn't make plans this weekend (I also initiate plans once in a while). I would see him logged on during the weekend and he hasn't gotten in contact with me (he left me hanging on our last text conversation).

I noticed that he updated his dating profile. He put up a new picture and changed up his bio. We aren't exclusive (we haven't had the talk and I believe it's way to early to bring up that conversation) but is he losing interest in me?

I try to be patient and assume that he is busy, but it makes me nervous how he is still looking around for something "better," while I am very interested in only him.

What should I do? What is going on through his mind? How should I look at all of this? It's making me insane and desperate and I don't like feeling this way.

Updates:
Just an update... it was a HUGE red flag. He is showing a lack of interest and left me hanging the second through text. Whatever... NEXT!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I will not lie to you, warmhugs, I am a straight shooter and with him putting a new profile on and changing his bio, he could very well Be------Out there again. And with a few more signals that may be a Raised Red flag to boot, you need to be on your guard now, look for further signs and be your own detective.
    If you both are not 'Exclusive,' Official as well, then it probably is too soon to have the talk just yet. However, if he keeps you 'Hanging' any more, puts you on a back burner, you need to find out what's going on behind his own cozy curtain.
    If you stand for this, you will always stoop to whatever poop he decides to throw your way. He may feel he can play the field, has no strings attached but that doesn't mean this bird has to leave you standing there with egg all over your face. He needs to tell you whether or not he wants his cake and eat it to so you are not left in the looking for him lurches.
    Good luck. xx

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    • My guard is definitely high up. If I didn't snoop around his bio and profile, I don't really see a reason for him to have me doubt his interest. We have taken it very slow and building a friendship first before going too fast. Now that I am aware that this is a red flag, do you have any tips for me to have his full attention?

    • Good move so far... now that you have your guard up, just go slow this too, stay on your toes, and ask him if it gets to the point where it becomes serious in this situation... for now no harping, it will cause him to flee to others faster... xx

    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to lend a helping hand here.:)) xx

What Guys Said 6

  • The inly thing I can tell you is to just be assertive and tell him how you feel. It is ok for girls to ask a guy out nowadays and I personally find it flattering. If he rejects you it's not that big of a deal. At least you tried right? There are plenty more guys where he came from that are dying to meet you. Trust me

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  • Ask how he feels about you

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    • how would I go about doing that? I'm a little scared to ask him cuz it will scare him away.

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    • Even if its a month only, you don't think it's too early?

    • Its driving you crazy to know so no I don't think its too early

  • He might just be spending his time on other people/is busy. He's single and should be dating people. You should be too. That's why you feel so attached to him, when he's slightly less attentive to your conversations.

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  • Confront him straight up but If he's up dating he sounds like he is still searching and sounds like you are doing the same seeing that you have been on the website too.

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    • How would you go about in asking him?

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    • And that won't freak him out or scare him away?

    • I think it's time you know what's going on , if he likes you it won't scare him

  • Just talk to him :3
    only way ya gonna find out ^_^

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    • How would I go about doing that in your opinion? I'm a total noob when it comes to this stuff.

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    • Do it via text, then you can arrange a meet up :3
      or if its easier to meet, do that ^_^
      i just presumed text as ya said you ain't seen him in a week :3

    • i think its better to ask him face to face. should i wait for him to text me or should i text him first?

  • just tell him how you feel! you say you think its too soon for you to be exclusive, or to at least bring up that topic. but if you are interested in only him, then maybe its not to soon to say it. either he really wants to commit also, but didn't say anything because you didn't show any signs. or he really does not want to commit and is interested in other girls and just wants to have fun (wich would also be understandable). if its the first option, you'll be happy you talked to him. if its the latter, you might not be so happy at first, but at least you know you shouldn't put more time into it, if comitment is what you want. note that if he only wants to have fun, he eventually will move on to the next one, coz most guys get easily bored like that.
    and definetly talk to him face to face. talking about serious subjects over the phone, specially texting, is for suckers! only aronud 30% of what you actually say is through words, meaning the rest is how he says it, his body language etc. so obviously face to face is the way to go

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    • You're right. I'll tell him how I feel... if he texts me sometime this week and hopefully we meet up. *fingers crossed*

    • good look:)

What Girls Said 3

  • hmm i feel its a losing interest thing guys on dating sites really move and rush and they dont want to wait and take it calmly there has been many guys i have rejected because all they complained about was not having a gf and can i have your number blah blah when a guy rushes it's a red flag I feel a bad vibe when it happens and I back off.

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    • but with this guy, he hasn't rushed me. We didn't have our first kiss until the third date.

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    • Wait until the conversation comes up organically?

    • Yeah maybe for some reason I feel when you talk to a guy when they don't talk to you I feel it bothers them but its probably just me because I got treated like trash from many people so my confidence is shot down but do what you got to do!

  • he's on a dating site, he will be in contact with lots of girls, it will be a great ego boost to him, so he will be loving all the female attention he gets via the site, the only way to be certain is to ask him yourself. You will know when he has decided to " choose "you out of all the others , when he deletes his account, cos there will no longer be a need for its use. Anymore, until then he's still " shopping"

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  • Just flat out ask how you guys stand and what he assumes your encounters as.

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