I'm still in pain from being dumped, why won't the pain just go?

It has been a while and it was a complicated situation. Either way, he rejected me after we had some problems for about 3 months. He finally said, "we don't have a future and perhaps if things were different but they're not. So let me make it clear, its never going to happen". Either way, he didn't like me enough to be with me (story of my life). It doesn't necessarily hurt that yet another guy didn't think I was good enough. But for the first time, I feel the pain of loving him and he doesn't deserve it. I managed to move on, but the 2nd month seems to be difficult for me again. I bumped into him a while ago, he tried talking to me but I was looking hot and fit and happy! Because my life has changed, I gave it a positive turn. But when I am in my room every night, the pain of loving him persists, during the day missing him is inevitable. I want to forget his existence and have been doing everything to forget him. I told him we couldn't be friends and I made new friends, improved myself etc.. but I am not over him sadly...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey it's hard. So difficult if you love the person so much. Best not be alone & keep that mind so busy. Just keep thinking of the memorable times in your life. Heart is a crazy animal sometimes. It doesn't listen to the mind. Try to avoid contact with him. Easy said then done. Try to write a journal how you feel. It will help putting your deep thoughts onto paper. Confide in a very close friend/relative whom trusts & understands you. When you love a person so much it's so hard because you feel that they are a part of you. You've got a really nice heart & it's very hurtful he hasn't rewarded you with love you deserve. Try to take each days as it comes. Think he's happy as it will be a somewhat softer effect on your heart. Hey only person whom can look after yourself is you. Take care.

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    • Just the words I needed to hear, thank you :)

    • Hey any consolation. I'm going through that. It's the most difficult time in my life. But heck I just love her cis I know she's happy. That's more important. Guess she doesn't want my love. I know what yiu mean by trying to like someone else. It's so difficult when you love a person so much. It's just no substitute. But heck there's so many nice girls out there. I dunno. Messed up I guess. Chat anytime. I thought I was the only person in such deep loving pain. Your braver than me coming out & sharing. That's showing strength. It's more difficult for a guy admitting in my opinion that love is too deep sometimes. It's an energy that's so strong that you can't sometimes force it away but let it takes it course & try you're best to take each day as it comes & be glad what you have & not what you want. Just keep thinking when that persistent loving pain comes about that he is happy. :)

    • Hey thanks for MHO. Chat to me if you want to. I'll listen.

What Guys Said 5

  • Find someone that does love you back, and once you do, you will be so embarrassed that you ever accepted someone not loving you back. Get rid of him, if you got a lot of love to give you deserve to be with someone that can accept it and return it ten fold. Good luck :)

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  • he said it himself, it will never work. accept that and move on to another amazing guy in this world. plus you're looking hot and fit now, sounds like you're almost finished with moving on. keep up those squats :D

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    • I did accept it, I am a very proud person and self-respecting. He said no, I did not contest and bid adieu.. something that surprised him. Either way, I feel fine one day only to feel crap the next. I'm tired of this feeling and I am doing everything to move on. I am genuinly happy but I miss him and you know how it is, that ridiculous hope that he'll realise his "mistake" even though I'm the mistake probably. I had sworn off love when I met him, but he persisted. Once I gave in emotionally, he stepped back. fantastic!

    • well what a fucking dick. you should not only get over him, but tell him to go fuck himself. I think you'll be alright, there is always a better guy, isn't that the best thing?

    • Yehh fair point!! LOL, thanks :) I shouldn't fall weak, I'm trying..

  • Time heals all wounds.

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    • I said that once, and then some girl argued hard with me! and said "no it doesn't! it only leaves scars, it never fully heals!" holy fucking shit she was annoying.

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    • Just remember that many of the people that are happily in a relationship had very similar thoughts as you at one point.

    • Yes but they also didn't have a miserable pattern like I do. Most have had at least some success, I'm the rare person who can't even get one guy and people can't even offer an explanation. They themselves don't see it. I'm sure they overlook something but I'm passed the stage of trying to improve myself, efforts that yield no benefits are best given up on. Giving up isn't weak, it takes strength to accept a situation when you gave it your everything ;)

  • ugh you and I feel the same pain. But if we focus too much on it, we didn't learn our lesson.

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    • i usually manage to move on quite easily. If someone doesn't want me, I shouldn't torture myself or I don't deserve to even respect myself. So I usually just walk away and move on. This time... perhaps you're right... this time all the things I so easily avoided before, came back to haunt me and I have no clue about how deal with them. Keep making your life better without her, eventually you won't care.. I hope

  • Just let it go and approach another guy

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What Girls Said 1

  • he said it himself, it will never work. accept that and move on. Look for someone else. next time don't care to much

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    • He was chasing me for a year, trust me.. I didn't fall easily. Once I did, he backed off. But indeed, I should accept that no guy wants me. I don't need someone else... that wasn't the point of my post. I have been single for most of my life, I can die a lonely old hag as well. Ayway thank you for your 2 cents.

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